How the Entitlement Mentality Crept into Our Churches

In 1974 Burger King made a bold move to take market share from McDonald’s. At the time, McDonald’s made burgers en masse. If you wanted a special order, you had to wait interminably while it was cooked separately.

I remember. I’m a ketchup-only kind of guy.

So Burger King announced that each order would be cooked at the time of the order the way the customer wanted. Their new slogan was “Have It Your Way.” Burger King, at least at the time, understood the consumer entitlement mentality.

So what does this story have to do with our churches?

It provides a brief historical backdrop of the mentality that has crept into our churches, where many of our members think church is a place where I can always “have it my way.” For now, let me share some key reasons many of our congregations have become more like country clubs than churches, a place where some members demand their way instead of serving and self-sacrificing.

  1. Failure to state clearly the expectations of church membership on the front end. A membership class, or some similar entry point into churches, should not only give information about the church, it should provide expectations about membership. Membership without expectations becomes membership with entitlements.
  2. Failure to make certain as possible that members are Christians. Sadly, we church leaders often neglect to discuss the spiritual conditions of prospective members. Are they truly followers of Christ? As a result, many of our churches have unregenerate members.
  3. Seeking numerical growth at all costs. We certainly should be Great Commission churches. We certainly should be inviting people and sharing the gospel. But if our end goal is numbers, we will make compromising statements to bring people into our churches. We should seek to grow our churches out of obedience to God, not to create our own kingdoms.
  4. Failure to remind the congregation regularly what it means to be a part of the body of Christ. All of us church members have the potential to lapse into self-serving, entitlement members. We all need to be reminded that church membership is not about perks and privileges, but serving and sacrifice. I have been encouraged to see many churches have annual renewal and commitment services.
  5. Allowing the most entitled members into positions of key leadership in the church. One of the more common manifestations of an entitled church member is a person who seeks to gain power and leadership positions in a church so he or she can control and get his or her own way. We yield to them too often because they might be big givers or because we don’t have the fortitude to resist their bullying behavior.
  6. Failure to deal with difficult issues. Church leaders too often are conflict avoiders. And while we shouldn’t pick a fight over every issue of minutia, neither should we allow a pervasive culture of entitlement, bullying, and manipulation to grow unabated. A problem not handled now is a larger problem later.

The biblical mandate for local congregations is counter-cultural. In many passages of the New Testament, such as 1 Corinthians 12, we are clearly taught that members are to be sacrificial, giving, and serving.

Such a mentality goes counter to the culture in which the church ministers.

Church is not about having it our way.

It’s about bringing glory to God by having it His way.

Posted on February 27, 2017


With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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57 Comments

  • This is a real tough one. It is ultimately a discipleship issue on a Romans 12v1-2 level. People are fully submerged in an entitlement culture, their brains are washed with it. Ultimately people need to experience Christ and be gripped by Him or else its often a battle of wills.

  • William Davis says on

    While I think the points made in this article are valid I find the article misses the mark in a significant way. Nearly every point that is made is stressing this as a problem that the church has created or, at best, ignored (note that four start with “failure”) by what it does. A greater problem might be what we are preaching. The same issues that are being described existed in the church at Corinth. Paul did not address those as much organizationally as much as he did doctrinally which then led to practical living. When our sermons are “10 Steps to …” and “How To …” with a smattering of Christ at the end we can only get entitlement attenders. Preaching the cross and Christ’s redemptive work must be at the forefront – not an addendum or a means to self-help messages.

  • jackson opiyo. says on

    It is very true and if the church will come to the knowledge that Christ is the head of the church and we are its body we will be healed for the body is directed by the head the opposite leads to the things i now hear from you.

  • Jeff Ruble says on

    Thom, you hit the nail right on the head. We attended a church just like this.

  • Wow! If I didn’t know better I would think, that you heard my message yesterday! I opened my sermon with the original BK commercial circa 1974! A number of weeks ago I presented every household of our church with a copy of your book “Autopsy Of A Deceased Church”, and it is motiving us into revival /revitalization!
    Great article as usual. Keep feeding us!
    Blessings

  • Heartspeak says on

    When the concept of worship becomes what you do during 3 songs and a talk on Sunday instead of what you do in your ‘everyday walking around life. Or when ‘the Sacred’ or clothing or music is the touchpoint, it’s easy to see the monster that has been created by the institutional church. Even (and I know I’m probably in the wrong place to say this) when we talk about local church membership, the unintended consequence has resulted in folks putting the focus on the local organization, local leadership, attending and serving that organization–in lieu of following the Master.

    Oh, I know that wasn’t the plan, and I know that the words that are often spoken are all the correct and proper ones. But the actual message that has been sent was one that was well learned by many and it wasn’t the one we thought we were sending.

    The church today has ‘taught’ most effectively:

    1- Show up and serve the church and that will suffice as following the Master

    2- It’s all about butts in seats and the resultant trickle-down of offerings that will support ‘all this good stuff we’re doing’.

    3- You just need to listen to a good speaker ‘teach’ every week, cuz, you know, God might even speak to you through it. (never mind whether you actually do what you already know–we won’t ask if you’re doing that because, well, see item #2)

    4- __________(fill in the blank)

    Don’t believe me? Just try doing without:

    a) A building
    b) A paid pastor
    c) A Sunday meeting

    If you don’t have those things, the average church attender would be hopelessly lost and and unable to even believe they were a ‘christian’ anymore.

    I am coming to believe that these are our idols….and/or reveal us as modern day Pharisees focused on the ‘stuff’ of our faith instead of the Author and Finisher of our faith

  • I have been a Protestant for over 67 years. I am now considering attending the Catholic Church. Their worship service has the elements of the sacred, no jeans with holes sported by the worship leader, no rap music or blaring guitars. The entire service is about worshiping Jesus Christ. Communion is a sacred ceremony; not an afterthought. The sermon was similar in doctrine. Yes, I know the differences between Protestant and Catholic. I won’t be able to join the Catholic Church because I won’t affirm many of their theological points. That’s fine with me. I’m sick and tired of the foolishness and sloppiness I witness at most every Protestant church in my area – and places we visit. Don’t lecture me on not giving or being in service or prayer for the church. I go to church to be drawn in to the sacred. I hunger for worship. I can serve others when I leave the sanctuary. I’m fully aware of the problems in the Catholic Church – AND the Protestant churches. In my opinion, the Protestant churches are a stinking mess. What would Wesley and Spurgeon say if they witnessed this foolishness?

    • jackson opiyo. says on

      ooh yes but hope you made a solely decision by admitting that you were a sinner and accepted the fact that Christ Jesus died and rose again.you see He is the head of the church men are men and you know that they made our Lord to be hunged on a tree.mind their own business and continue cultivating your way to heaven through Jesus christ not what men do. be blessed with hebrews 4:12

  • My father is a retired Baptist pastor. He is struggling to find a church to join because he says they are country clubs.

    Sadly, this is the state of many churches. Sometimes the country club is exclusive and some members of the church are excluded.

  • #7 – Failure of everyone (both members and leadership) to realize that it is HIS church, not ours! Quite a few of these points would be more appropriate to running a franchise operation than to how to BE the body of Christ. We are many parts, but all one body! I believe that is in the Bible somewhere! (wink)

  • Bi-Vo Pastor says on

    Thank you, Thom. As a Pastor, I struggle in finding a good balance at times. The balance between everyone being a part and EVERYONE feeling the need to share their opinion. How far does it go? How involved does the entire congregation need to be in picking a paint color? Especially in a smaller (100 Sunday Attendance) but growing Body. The members are used to and insistent on voting for everything. It’s definitely a recipe for division when any decision has to be made. Any thoughts on leading a congregation through a mindset change? And how do we include everyone without going too far? Thanks and keep up the good work!

  • Thom, I always enjoy reading what you write. How do you think discipleship fits into the steps you mentioned in your post?

  • Hey, I’m glad i’m not the only one who like ketchup only on a hamburger.