If churches could speak, what would their words be on their deathbeds?
You don’t have to wait until a church closes its doors to hear some of the sentences that led to its death. Indeed, these three sentences, or something similar to the words, are pervasive in too many churches.
- “We’ve never done it that way before.” This sentence has become the classic example of a church resisting change. While we should never change or compromise the truths of God’s Word, most change resistance is over methodologies, preferences, and desires. Unfortunately, these battles are typically over matters of minutia. One church recently had a battle over using a screen in the worship services. A matriarch argued that the Apostle Paul did not have a projector screen. I guess Paul was comfortable with his printed hymnal.
- “Our pastor does not visit enough.” Churches with this complaint often have highly unreasonable expectations of the pastor. The pastor could visit members 24/7 and it would still not be enough. Some of the church members in these churches compare length and frequency of pastoral visits to see who is getting the most attention. These churches are inwardly focused and headed for decline and, many times, imminent death.
- “People know where our church is if they want to come here.” This sentence is fraught with problems. First, it assumes the church is a place, that the physical location of the church building is the church. The church, working under this erroneous assumption, can never get outside its walls because it will cease to be the church. Second, this sentence is often used as an excuse for congregations to stay in their “holy huddles,” and never evangelize the community. Third, in some cases it is a cover-up sentence for prejudice and racism. The community outside the church has changed, but the church has not. The members of the church really do not want “those people” invading their fortress.
Numbers of churches are closing their doors every day. And the members of those churches would have never thought that sorrowful day would arrive.
You have an opportunity right now to look at the warning signs in your church. If these sentences, or some variation of them, are part of the common language of your congregation, the church is in trouble.
Yes, your church can turnaround in God’s power. Unfortunately, most church members of these congregations will not forego their personal preferences, comforts, and prejudices to change.
And that type of mindset, sadly, is a certain path toward death.
Posted on September 26, 2016
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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66 Comments
It’s not about the individual or the building, it’s all about bringing glory to GOD ????????????????????
Get over yourself ????????
Change in and of itself does not bring glory to God. Rusty is correct. It should be approached cautiously and with much discernment. Much has been said about “dying churches”, but what about churches that are “active” and “increasing in numbers” yet are rushing headlong into apostasy?
I agree with your points.
At the same I do understand that change can be alienating to good people if not handled in a sensitive matter. If God isn’t in the change, its worthless.
No disagreement from me, Rusty. I don’t see that changing the essence of the article.
Simple and to the point!! Thanks for the read.
Thanks, Troy.
What about ” I like things the way they are- one contemporary service a month is good for me”?
Yes. The complacency syndrome.
And to me it shows great selfishness, that there is little or no willingness to put someone else’s needs and desires ahead of your own.
In regards to the first point, I’ve had to teach myself to lovingly ignore the negative comments when leading change. I recently led change at our church to make our foyer area much more guest friendly. An overwhelming majority of our people were tremendously supportive of the changes. However, a few of our seniors made negative comments and I had to lovingly listen to their concerns and attempt to help them see why changes were necessary. We moved forward and are experiencing a much higher rate of return visitors, largely due to changes we’ve made. I must confess that a few years ago I would have allowed a couple of negative comments to keep positive change from happening. I’m learning to push through negativity and lead change in our church and God is blessing us.
You, sir, are demonstrating actions of great leadership. Thank you.
What exactly are the elements of a “guest friendly” foyer? I’m not asking that question for any reason other than personal curiosity.
I believe that a “guest friendly foyer,” will send a message to guests that communicates a welcome and vibrant spirit. Being “Guest friendly” is to make it easy for new people to adapt and feel comfortable in our environment, and want to come back again. Things such as clear signage, décor, seating, information, smell, (I love the smell of fresh coffee when I enter the foyer) will make a positive statement to new people. It also sends a message that we want to connect with them where they are, and that we’ve moved out of the 70’s and into the 21st century where they live.
At our church we have a very spacious foyer, which is the first room a person enters when they visit our church. Over the years this room has become outdated and very stale looking. We wanted to create a great first impression. We change the color scheme from plain dull white walls with no décor to a warm new color scheme. We added signage to direct our guest, we replaced old pews that lined our foyer walls that were used for seating (some of the pew pads were stained and faded and didn’t look appealing at all), with new modern furniture. In one section we made a setting area for people to have conversation, by adding a nice couch and loveseat along with some modern chairs. We plan to use this area for small groups as well. We hope to soon mount a TV on the wall to be used by our small groups, and also to run our announcements before and after service. We also added décor that is very appealing and up to date. We are in the process of adding a coffee/refreshment serving station and some round café tables and chairs. We are now working on a information area to keep our welcome packets, information about our ministries, and gifts for first time guests. Our foyer helps us make a statement about our church that gives our guests a positive feeling the moment they step through our doors. We believe that it’s vital that we connect with younger families who are looking for a church that can relate to where they are in life. I hope that explains your question.
“We’ve never done it that way before” is one of four reasons people resist change. They are:
1.) Habit – “We’ve never done it this way before”.
2.) Fear – Usually people who exhibit this don’t like what the change looks like or are fearful of what will happen if the change fails. “What happens if……” is a common sentence starter for this form of resistance.
3.) Inertia – In this case, a person isn’t necessarily opposed to the change, but may think that either the resources aren’t on hand or are unwilling to expend the energy to bring about the change.
4.) Prejudice – The person opposing change for prejudice reasons usually have a personal investment in the change being proposed.
Often you can’t address those who are opposed to change until you understand the reasons for their opposition.
Good insights, Lyn.
Change it and in three months they’ll be saying ‘We always did it this way.
Kate Low, England
True . . . if the leader survives the change.
Our church in Ypsilanti has just started studying your book “Autopsy of A Deceased Church: 12 Ways To Keep Yours Alive”.
Thank You for having the courage to challenge us to be the Church that Christ has called us to be.
Thank you, George. I always these posts will be written and received in such a way to bring glory to God.
Are you at my church?
These statements are what we hear regularly! and then people wonder why our church isn’t growing …
1) replace the worship screen with moving forward in the pews for the first question and you have our church
2) replace “visit” with “that’s your job” when congregant members are encouraged to bring their complaints/concerns about one church member to that church member as called to do in Matthew 18
3) exactly. But my question back would be, “then, why aren’t they here?”
Well said, Renee.
1st – Amen! 2nd – LOL
Change resistance is a real thing man. I think people (particularly elderly people) resist change because they are afraid that they themselves are being viewed as useless and obsolete like the things which are being changed. Elders with children and grandchildren who are active in their lives are less likely to feel this way simply because those younger versions of themselves help them to keep abreast of change gradually. I guess we have to find a way to be sensitive to and bring along those without familial support. And yeah that’s much easier said than done – but what about this faith walk isn’t?
Thanks for the insightful perspective; and again Amen.
Thanks so much, Lisa.
I realize that it is impossible for any man to pastor a church where everyone just go the way they like or do only things they found convenient. This isn’t about being led of the Spirit but it could easily be mistaken for it. This is where everyone should know that you are in a walk with Jesus alone and only you is accountable. I am sure Jesus didn’t have to wait for John the Baptist to come to reconcile with the reality of the Kingdom and the same applied to Elijah and Elisha. It is more on the side of getting intimate with Jesus and learning to please Him. Anyone could walk with Jesus but it seems difficult for many to stay focus on Him. Sincerely the church system could be a distraction for both the leadership and the lead.
I wish every Bible-believing congregation in the United States could read this post! It is the single most powerful thing I’ve read in a long time. As a parishioner, I hear these sentences from well-meaning people regularly. But, sadly enough, these same well-meaning people still live in the mid 20th century when “church attendance” was a pre-requisite for being a “socially acceptable” part of any community.
That is no longer the case. I hear the “We’ve never done it that way before” in everything…literally everything…from Men’s ministries to music, to communion…and it’s nothing more than a crutch.
Not everyone knows or cares where the physical facilities of a congregation may be located…but those people will care how they are loved and treated…websites, newpapers ads, other forms of publicity MUST be updated and accurate…yet, it’s difficult to get a stable congregation in a small(er) community to realize how important these things really are.
Thank you for a powerful, powerful post. I’m sending it to the administrative committee of my local church.
Thank you, Phil.
>Websites, newpapers ads, other forms of publicity MUST be updated and accurate
Sounds like somebody else has run into a church that has one address on their website, a second address in listing in the weekly newspaper, a third address on the church office door, and meets for services at yet another address.
I have dealt extensively with 1 & 2. Recently I have been compelled to keep an ongoing list of all the people I visit so I can answer critics. I started the list after I was accused of not visiting someone in the hospital even though I was there the day he had surgery. Apparently I didn’t show up at the “right time” for it to count.
Another issue is the insistence that broken or worn out items be “fixed” instead of replaced. This may seen reasonable except that the church has a pile of money it’s just sitting on and the person doing the “fixing” never gets around to it.
Yep.
Christopher,
Depending on what state you live in, providing a list of whom you visit might be breaking a law. In my state, the confidentiality statutes apply to pastoral care! –Not to be confused with HIPAA law, which only covers providers that bill their services to insurance. Pastors are not compelled under HIPAA to protect confidentiality, but our state laws far exceed HIPAA protections. My husband who is a pastor, has been asked by two congregations in the last 6 years to openly violate that statute. When he has refused – it has become very contentious — one of the congregations even withheld his paycheck, unless he revealed his visits! Check your state’s statutes– they are most likely online and searchable. Best wishes and peace to you–Jo
Good advice, Jo. Thank you.
Give them compass directions and numbers and let them figure it out! Haha
Just as a side note here: Pastors should NEVER be required to visit church member in a hospital or at their home who has something contagious …ever, nor should they be expected to. Pastors should take at least one other church member with him at all times (preferably of the same gender.) Instead of keeping tabs, lay peeps, how about volunteering to go with him…invest some time and energy into this ministry.
This is so true. It works better if you can go hand in hand. And that also goes for potential attendees. We wanted so badly for our new minister to go out with us and visit families who lived in the new neighborhood behind our church. The youth were already coming to UMYF and we were hoping to involve the whole family. After meeting/talking with them at several youth things, we knew it was important for the minister to assist. But, alas, he refused. There were a lot of things going on at that point that we weren’t aware of, but it was a real slap in the face to have zero support. And it was a wakeup call for my family that God really had told us it was time to change churches and we had arrogantly said “not yet”. When the membership says these sentences for years, then you have a pastor who comes in and shuts down any real efforts trying to be made…then you really know it is time to go. I got to where I swore if I heard “we’re locking our door, that’s OUR Sunday School room” one more time, I’d have run screaming from the meeting!
(and I have to add, this was 1996 when we finally switched churches…this stuff stays with your members so it’s best to get it moving in the opposite direction as soon as you first see it coming — saying this to pastors and parishioners)
I much prefer my Pastor to come alone. I know the dangers in that but if I have something I would like to discuss I do not want a third person there.
In response to ‘A Ministry Spouse’ I agree with you. I have also, on occasion, refused to enter a home where an occupant is smoking at the time. However, even when they stub out their cigarette there and then, I know I will leave reeking of smoke.
We maintained “sound doctrine.” At first this might sound like we still believed in Jesus. Those who know what “sound doctrine” means know that this can be used to ban youth groups, kitchens, fellowship halls, etc.
True. Tradition is often used synonymously with doctrine.
Really? You blame the sheep. I see articles like this from pastors all the time and they always blame the sheep not leadership. The message you are sending is your existing church members don’t matter. They feel it. How do you improve your church if your ideas are labeled as isssues and grumbling. What should a pastor do about people in process of leaving? Nothing seems to be the answer from pastors. Not much love in that response. Small churches attract and stick due to relationships. When one leaves there is a huge impact. It is worth at least a phone call.
To be honest, Numbers 1 and 3 could be said by the pastor as well as the congregation. The church I was at was struggling because the pastor had problems and was saying some of these things. The Deacons had the foresight, they do admit they waited too long, to confront the pastor. The pastor left, they have a new pastor and they are turning the corner.
The pastor is, or should be, a “Church member”. Other than Item 2, I see this article addressing anyone in the church including the pastor, not just the lay members.
Many pastors do indeed get blamed for the failures of their members. It’s one thing when you have a substantial grievance against your pastor, but it’s quite another when you make the pastor a convenient scapegoat. I’ve seen many churches do the latter.
The number one problem is hypocrisy. And this video might help.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gwyx1igxYY
The shepherd does not give birth to sheep. He leads and guides but sheep are supposed to produce sheep. In some instances ruin has come from the pulpit, but we, the sheep, doing our part would make a huge difference.
I’m not a pastor. All three of these came up constantly in meetings by fellow members who didn’t want the community to come in at the time. Thankfully the church I am part of now rarely if ever says any of this. I’m a United Methodist so you rarely hear the pastors saying any of these things in a Methodist church. Our pastor rarely stay more than 4-10 years. It would be the members saying it.