The Pastors’ Wives Episode

Episode #054
May 9, 2014
Rainer on Leadership Podcast Logo

Podcast Episode #054

I’ve written on pastors’ wives a few times here at the blog and every time I do, people flock to the posts. So this week, we looked at these posts and discussed all things related to the pastor’s wife: expectations, loneliness, parenting, friendships, the desire for mentors, and so much more. Here are the points we covered:

Seven Things Pastors’ Wives Wish They Had Been Told Before They Became Pastors’ Wives – April 2013

  1. I wish someone had told me just to be myself.
  2. I wish someone had prepared me to deal with criticism of my husband and me.
  3. I wish someone had reminded me that my husband is human.
  4. I wish someone had told me that others were watching us (the glass house syndrome).
  5. I wish someone had told me there are some really mean people in the church.
  6. I wish someone had told me how much my husband needs me to build him up.
  7. I wish someone had told me that my schedule will never be normal again.

11 Things I Learned from Pastors’ Wives – January 2014

  1. The number one challenge for pastors’ wives is loneliness.
  2. These ladies need to know they have the love and support of their husbands.
  3. A pastor’s wife does not want a church member to tell her what her “job” at the church is.
  4. She would like church members to understand that neither she nor her family is perfect.
  5. The pastor’s wife does not want to field complaints from church members about her husband.
  6. The pastors’ wives who entered ministry with no forewarning about the issues they would face were the ones who stressed the most.
  7. She does not want to be told she needs to work to support her husband and family.
  8. While most pastors’ wives affirm their identity as a wife in ministry, they do not want that to be their only identity.
  9. Many pastors’ wives believe they need training for their roles.
  10. These ladies want to be reminded again and again to keep their focus on Christ.
  11. Many pastors’ wives want a means where they can support one another.

Twelve Reasons Pastors’ Wives Are Lonely – February 2014

  1. Superficial relationships in the church.
  2. A busy pastor/husband.
  3. Mean church members.
  4. A conduit for complaints about her husband.
  5. Broken confidences.
  6. Frequent moves.
  7. Viewed as a second-class person.
  8. Lack of support groups.
  9. No date nights.
  10. Complaints about children.
  11. Husband does not give the wife priority.
  12. Financial struggles.

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