How to Respond When a Staff Member Has an Affair

February 10, 2017
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Podcast Episode #301


This is an episode we hope churches won’t need to consult, but unfortunately many of them will. Extramarital affairs by pastors and staff are a reality and when it happens, churches need to be prepared.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

  • Churches don’t prepare for this because churches don’t think they will need to be prepared for this.
  • There’s this misunderstanding of grace sometimes where people think it means that anything goes.
  • After a staff member affair, one of the most important parts of a severance package is often counseling.
  • Churches should consider having outside help to guide them through the aftermath of a staff member affair.
  • The goal after any affair should be reconciliation of the marriages.
  • After a staff member affair, the congregation often goes through the five stages of grief.
  • It’s nearly impossible to pray sincerely for someone and at the same time remain bitter toward them.

The six responses we cover are:

  1. Terminate with compassion.
  2. Don’t forget the staff member’s family.
  3. Be forthright with the congregation.
  4. Provide resources for reconciliation.
  5. Don’t forget the pain of the congregation.
  6. Begin a ministry of prayer for this situation.

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Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast