Six Questions to Discern Toxic Church Conflict from Healthy Church Conflict

Episode #830
December 5, 2023
Rainer on Leadership Podcast Logo

Criticism is not necessarily toxic, even when it is misguided. And no one likes to field complaints. Sometimes they are warranted, and sometimes they can be toxic. How can a pastor tell the difference? Thom covers the best ways pastors can discern toxic conflict from healthy conflict. It’s not always easy, but he offers a few practical tips through six questions. 

1. What is the motivation of the one complaining?

2. What is the goal of the conflict?

3. Are people talking about others or to others?

4. Is friction combative or respectful?

5. Are people leading with questions or exclamations?

6. Are you able to hang out afterward?

Resources:

Episode Sponsors:

Eligible high schoolers can earn college credit online, the first class is free (not including books and course materials), and they get a significant discount ($166 per credit vs. $613 per credit) for every subsequent class. They can choose from more than 30 available courses. Here are just a few additional details not included on the flier:

    • This program is open to third-culture kids, homeschool students, private and public school students, etc.
    • Students can start during any eight-week session – summer, fall, spring, each semester has two sessions as indicated on the flier
    • The first-class free offer is limited. I do not yet know for how long, but we should market it as temporary for now.
    • Many students have successfully completed courses during their normal school year. Classes are asynchronous, so they can access course materials at their convenience.
    • Sometimes universities have similar programs and they make classes specific for high school students – HS students sitting with other HS students. In our program, participants sit in on real college courses, with actual college student peers. They get the real deal through our experience.

What Path will your church take through the Bible this year?

  • One Year Bibles are designed to help readers engage with the entire Bible in 365 days.
  • One Year Bibles are great resources to help pastors encourage their community to be in the Word every day, but they also can help you come together in God’s Word as a community of believers.
  • One Year Bibles are perfect for small groups, Bible studies, Sunday School classes, and other connection points
  • There are two different reading paths for One Year Bibles:
    • On the Daily Reading Path, each day you will explore a passage from the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs.
    • The Chronological Reading Path helps you explore the Bible in the order the events took place.

Once you choose which path you want to take there’s even more options:

  • There are men’s and women’s devotional editions that have short daily devotionals that correspond with the day’s reading. Perfect for couples, marriage groups, men’s or women’s small groups.
  • The One Year Chronological Study Bible is perfect for Sunday school classes, small groups even full church study.
  • The One Year Pray for series of Bibles help you as a community intercede on behalf of some of the greatest needs facing our world today. 
  • There are even coloring and journaling versions for people who are looking for a more tactile way to engage with the Bible

You can see all the options at TheOneYearBible.com