Ten Unrealistic Expectations Placed on Ministry Spouses

Episode #372
October 17, 2017
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Podcast Episode #372

We routinely hear from pastors’ wives and ministry spouses. Their feedback is often heartbreaking. Today, we expound on their frustrations.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

  • Pastor spouses are often expected to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent.
  • Church members often complain to a minister’s spouse if they feel like they aren’t getting the attention they deserve.
  • If you need to get a message to a church staff member, go to them—not their spouse.
  • I’m so grateful for pastors’ wives who have the courage to speak up for other pastors’ wives.

The ten unrealistic expectations we cover in this episode are:

  1. “I am expected to attend every function at the church.”
  2. “Many church members expect me to know everything that is happening in the church.”
  3. “We have several church members who feel free to complain to me about my spouse.”
  4. “Church members utilize me as a de facto assistant to my spouse, giving me messages for him.”
  5. “I am still amazed how many church members expect me to function as an employee of the church.”
  6. “Some of the members expect our children to be perfect and act perfect.”
  7. “I am always supposed to be perfectly made up and dressed when I leave the house.”
  8. “I have no freedom at our church to be anything but perfectly emotionally composed.”
  9. “I think some of our church members expect my family to take a vow of poverty.”
  10. “So many church members expect me to be their best friend.”

Episode Sponsors

Vanderbloemen Search GroupVanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. Their Fall Lead Pastor and Executive Pastor Coaching Networks are now open for registration, and our very own Dr. Rainer will be speaking at the Fall Lead Pastor Coaching Network.

So if you’re a Lead Pastor or an Executive Pastor looking for peer roundtable coaching, check it out at vanderbloemen.com/coaching. It’s limited to 16 folks, so apply today before it fills up.

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Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast