Dear Pastor,
I wish I did not have to write this letter. I wish your story were an anomaly, a rare and isolated incident in the life of the church. Unfortunately, your experience is one of many, a tragic reminder of the pain that can arise from the very place meant to bring healing and hope.
Over the years, I have walked alongside many pastors. I’ve listened as they recounted the betrayal, confusion, and heartache they endured. These stories emerge from a common pattern, a series of events that many unjustly fired pastors seem to experience. Maybe your story is fresh; the shock is still settling. Maybe your story is in the past, but the memories ring hard like glass shattering on a hard floor. What happened?
It often begins innocently enough. Perhaps you made a decision that seemed prudent to you. Possibly it was a set of decisions. But something triggered a chain reaction with an individual or group in the church. You didn’t intend to raise their ire, but that’s what happened. You may not even know now exactly what it was then that ignited the whole situation.
While you were praying, leading, and serving, someone began sowing seeds of discontent. Power brokers talked behind the scenes. The elders or personnel committee started having secret meetings without you. While you continued shepherding, a quiet rebellion was brewing. Your selfless focus on ministry gave others a window of opportunity to leverage their energy against you.
Then came the accusations—seemingly out of nowhere. You were blindsided by things you knew weren’t true. The most sinister of these allegations began with the phrase, “People are saying.” You found yourself defending against vague and anonymous complaints, each more hurtful than the last.
You got called into an urgent meeting with almost no notice. Everyone there seemed prepared, but you had no idea what was happening. When you walked into the room, the cold expressions and closed body language hinted at a dark turn. The room was tense. These people claimed to be your friends yet couldn’t look you in the eye.
The moment of truth was anything but that. The power players repeated the vague and anonymous complaints. Perhaps you tried to defend yourself. Or maybe, in that moment, you knew. It was over. They demanded you resign because they didn’t have the courage to fire you. Cowards. A small severance and non-disclosure agreement was placed in front of you. The fight response kicked in, and you wanted to expose the lies. But you took what they offered, even as it felt like you were selling your silence to them. You faced the awful dilemma of choosing to feed your family or defend your reputation.
While a brief statement mentioned you didn’t have a moral failure, the rumor mill still churned out its own explanations, and none of them were kind. Your church family was left confused and hurt. Maybe a few people demanded answers, but they abandoned their efforts after the stonewalling produced nothing satisfactory. The most shocking part was how quickly most moved on while asking no questions. The silence of the majority cut deeper than any of the false accusations.
Your heart was heavy then, and, to some degree, it still is. The feelings of abandonment and betrayal remain. If this is your story, please know you are not alone. The pain is real, but so is your purpose. Maybe you’ve stepped away from ministry for a season. The trauma was just too much. Or maybe you’re plodding through a new assignment, the albatross of regret hanging heavy and weighing down your progress. Please know you are loved. You are valued. And there is hope ahead. I know. I’ve been there. Many years ago. And now I’m exactly where God wants me to be. You will get there too.
Posted on May 5, 2025
As President of Church Answers, Sam Rainer wears many hats. From podcast co-host to full-time Pastor at West Bradenton Baptist Church, Sam’s heart for ministry and revitalization are evident in all he does.
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49 Comments
Sam, what a hauntingly accurate article this was regarding how these situations develop and unfold. Having gone through this in two past churches, I found myself asking those exact questions and having to determine what was best for my family and, ultimately, my reputation.
As you mentioned in the article, one of the most discouraging aspects of these situations, is how easily the vast majority of the congregants move on without questioning the ethics and the reasoning behind the decision. It is easier for them to capitulate than to “rock the boat”.
However, one important element that was not included in this article is that this not only happens to senior pastors but also to a myriad of associate pastors and church ministerial staff members across our country. It is devastating for them and their families, as well.
Thank you for having the courage to broach this delicate topic.
Completely agree about associate pastors and other church staff. Great reminder, Roger.
Greetings all,
While in our denomination these kinds of firings are not looked upon kindly because the official
“call documents” lay the groundwork for the pastor’s service to congregation and the congregation’s support therein. Yet, as an associate, there came a time when I had to ask myself, “Would I be content to ride out my days here and be an emeritus who handles shut in visits and Bible studies?” I asked this because I knew a few in council leadership that would not allow me to move up to the Senior position. I determined to serve regardless of the position (I had a wonderful 35 year Emeritus pastor as an example). After 12 years of service there the then current Senior pastor made a move to move me out. I put my name on a call list and eventually received my current call of almost 9 years. The issues of the previous congregation came to light during the next associate’s call that left the Senior removed and the associate decided to take a call elsewhere. I say all this because testing and refining are the process by which our Lord continues to clarify the call on His servant’s life. While it was not fun to go through, much less for our family, we learned that the Lord is indeed faithful to remove anger and bitterness even as Jesus Himself prayed for those who put Him on the cross… even we whose sin is counted there also! While service in my previous call could have continued, we have further blessed in our current call! May our Lord grant us the persevering grace we need until His return! Thank you for this article!
Thanks Ralph!
Hello Sam,
I want to thank you for speaking about this subject. I believe that it happens far too often.
I was called to a church that had all of the outward appearances of being just the kind of place that we could see serving with for many years. One thing that I was not made aware of was the church had a history of firing pastors, even though some of my friends and acquaintances in the ministry were aware of the church’s history in this regard, but did not communicate that to me. I knew that the previous pastor had been asked to leave because of wrong doctrinal views, but that was the only termination that I was told about. Four years into my time there I was told by the deacons of the church that they “could no longer follow my leadership.” There was no accusations of any wrongdoing, theologically, doctrinally, spriturally, morally or any other reason. They just expressed a desire to see me leave, so that they could get someone else in. I did see the “Writing on the wall” as shortly before this happened as it was expressed to me when a comment was made by a church member that “The deacons are the real spiritual leaders of the church, because pastors come and go, but the deacons are always there.”
The church took a vote to dismiss me. While they did agree to a severance package for us, we were told that we could only receive it if we left town. We were living in the church parsonage.
I have to say that as we packed up and set out, my greatest concern was for my wife and children as they were hurt deeply by all that went on and by how they were treated. I also have to admit that I was not sure that I would ever serve in the ministry again, or even if I had a desire to.
By God’s grace several friends reached out to show compassion and encourage my family and me, and we always did our best to keep our eyes on the prize.
We slowly became more involved in the ministry and found places to serve God.
I want to be very clear that my wife, children and me never blamed God for anything that happened. We always were certain that God remains on His throne, and all things work together for His glory.
At this time I am a bi-vocational pastor for a wonderful congregation that we have been serving for eighteen years.
God is alway good, and always at work.
Thank you for sharing, Ken. I’m sure your current church is blessed by your leadership.
Thank you for the post of encouragement and support. Reading the stories of my fellow Pastors also are very encouraging. I was pastoring a church through revitalization as I was completing my D.Min at Southern Seminary in Church Revitalization. My project focused on the development of a strong Pastor-Deacon Family Ministry. I had completed a six month training session with the Deacons when I contracted Covid and was hospitalized. Shortly after my release I was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer. While undergoing radiation and chemotherapy treatment I successfully defended my project with the wonderful assistance of my project supervisor Dr. Willam Henard.
All appeared to be going well despite my health issues. The Deacons attended my graduation in December of 2021. What was transpiring behind the scenes was quite different. A woman in the church had an affair and later divorced her husband. She remarried her “lover” who was not a member and was a registered sex offender. Neither she or her new husband would not admit any sin in the affair and he demanded to be baptized into our membership. I had previously presented and the church had adopted a strict policy regarding sex offenders and the implementation of a required signed covenant regarding their attendance and possible membership. Her new husband refused to repent and comply with our policy. I and the Deacons informed him his request for membership could not and would not proceed. They left angry and even moved out of state. While I was away in recovery from cancer, they returned and started attending during my absence. I warned the Deacons that the man had made verbal threats against me and his desire to destroy my ministry.
When I returned to the pulpit, the couple no longer came, but the damage was done. The woman’s family were well established members and were wanting their daughter and new son-in-law as members. They knew it would not happen while I was pastor and there was no repentance and compliance with our policy as adopted into our Constitution and by-laws.
The Deacons would had gone through the training and attended my graduation decided it was easier to fire me than to lose other members and I was asked to resign. Of course it wasn’t all that plan and simple. They started unjustified rumors against my family including a 12 year old grandson.
My health declined from the stress, and not to avail my family to further assaults, I retired. The very first Sunday I was gone, they publicly welcomed the sex offender to the church. Eventually, they baptized him into the church membership against their own Constitution.
During my retirement I published “Redeeming the Time: God’s CLEAR Path Forward” and I am working with a small church plant and doing biblical counseling.
I trust in God’s sovereignty and his purpose in my life. It was hurtful and very disappointing. I fear for my former church and pray for them, even the sex offender that he would come to repentance. I learned recently that he has been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. My God be merciful.
I rest in my Savior and Lord.
Daryl, you did the right thing. Protecting your congregation from predators is worth the sacrifice. I know that’s hard, but I believe God will reward you for such a courageous stand.
Thank you, Sam. I have peace knowing I did what was right before the Lord and the Laws of our State. I had served 30 years as a a Police Lieutenant and 30 years pastoring both full time and bivocational. The betrayal was difficult, but my suffering is not comparable to our Lord’s. Still, I rejoice in suffering in His cause.
Thank you Sam for your encouraging letter. I am not a hired pastor but more if a volunteer youth pastor. I started the Good News Club as a children’s ministry for the church after Covid. The circumstances surrounding my removal from leadership is bery similar to what you described as betrayal, secret meetings, and control, nothing about moral or spiritual failure. I read your article about false shepherds which is the underlying factor in my situation. It is ironic that the Board wants me to continue the Children’s ministry but not the decision maker. I feel called to preach the gospel to children and will continue to do that outside the control of any denominations. Please pray for the Good News Club in Hot Springs to continue reaching children for the gospel.
Maris Smith
Praying right now, Maris!
Well written. I’ve been there. But God lifted this humbled servant up and allowed him to continue in new ministries. My ego is of little importance, but His glory always shines bright.
Amen, Ron.
I was forced out of 3 consecutive SBC pastorates.
The deacons at the first church demanded that I sign a document which stated that the Bible is inspired only like any other great book & that there are multiple ways to heaven, “not just Jesus.” I pled with them, reasoned with them, begged them to consider what they were doing; they demanded I sign. I refused & was fired.
The second fired me because “you take the Bible too seriously, & we just don’t do that around here.” They also hated that the deep-south white church had black families beginning to attend. “What if they want to join?”
The third fired me because “Calvinism kills evangelism & too many people are getting saved.” (Yes, you read that correctly; no, I hadn’t preached a single sermon on election; & yes, I was repeatedly explicit on my soteriology while interviewing).
By God’s grace, I planted a church 6 years ago & we are walking faithfully together. Our elders fear God & love us. We’ve been able to send a vocational missionary to Thailand (they’ve been in-country 3 years now with language school & planting a church).
Were it not for grace, I would have been crushed under these things. I trust that the Lord has grown me in his grace; he’s certainly sustained me by it.
By that same grace, may we be found faithful.
I’m thankful to hear you are doing well, Reagan. I’m grateful you shared and for God’s grace!
Feel free to publish this if you would like to. It devasted me. Destroyed me. For almost 11 months I was literally a basket case, we lost our home. I was in therapy, and that was almost 13 years ago. The betrayal I could handle, but the “no reason given” still leaves a void in my heart. There is so much more I could write, I d like to say your article helped, your words about not being alone…but they did not. We have never received. My died of Covid, and now I live SSI check to the next.
William Holleran
I’m very sorry, William. My prayers are with you this morning.
Greetings Sam in the precious name of Jesus.
Sam, as I read your letter, I thought, how could you know in such detail, the betrayal I experienced at the hands of a group of people who professed to be Christ-followers. The situation you described fits to a tee exactly what I endured back in 2015. The humiliation and sense of utter failure I experienced almost caused me to leave ministry and the church altogether. That was Satan’s hope and plan, but God had different ideas, and thanks be to God I am still in pastoral ministry today. It hasn’t been easy, but God is faithful. In a way only God could orchestrate, part of my package exiting that church was to attend the “Pastors of Excellence” program started by Terry Wardle at Ashland Theological Seminary in Ashland Ohio. It was during this time that I discovered Rainer on Leadership and Church Answers, and have been blessed by your ministry to pastors in the years following.
Unbeknownst to the power brokers at the church or Satan himself, this program restored my faith in Christ’s church and did a profound healing in my heart and spirit and renewed my calling to pastoral ministry. What Satan intended to silence me, God used to strengthen me, and in a weird sort of way, I am grateful for having endured that painful season of my life because God has brought me through it stronger and closer to Him.
Thank you for your leadership Sam, I am grateful for how God has used you to pour into pastors like me who are just trying to be faithful followers of Jesus who want to draw others to Him through the proclamation of the Gospel in truth and love.
Yours in Christ’s service,
Pastor Brian Hornibrook
Wow! I’m very encouraged by your kindness, Brian. Thank you!
I call these churches The Country Club Church. My church deacons proudly proclaimed that they were the Personnel Committee. ALL decisions of the church MUST be approved by them. There was no personal accountability for them.
It was around my 8th year that I realized why those who really deserved to be elected deacon turned it down every year. They had once served one term and wanted no part of what were doing behind the scenes.
In my 16 plus years as pastor, the deacons fired 5 staff members. After they worked their work on me they set their eyes on another staff member.
21 deacons who were almost always good close friends used the constitution as their means of power.
Every year, same deacons, same rotation of chairmen, same results.
Without my wife, my family, my band of brothers, I was so low I contemplated death. I was there. That place we don’t wish to admit.
Five years later, though I still feel the hurt, the human shame, the loss of friends I thought I had, God is good. He has walked with me through the valley of darkness and there is a light at the other end. While Satan has accused me of every evil thing imaginable AND reminded me every day of my mistakes, God reminded me I still have hope, Satan does not.
To those who are walking through your valley of darkness, we have hope eternal. It may be a slow long walk but my Jesus will walk every step of the way with you.
Thank you for sharing, Kenneth. I’m very glad God brought you out of the valley.
For over four decades in ministry, I’ve witnessed this exact thing happen to good shepherds, never thinking it would ever happen to me. Then it did. The church leadership that called me to lead them into a Christo-centric and Bible-focused approach to building God’s Kingdom didn’t really mean it.
After a year of strong growth, we formed a committee to review and amend our By-Laws to reflect a more Biblical model. In fact, Sam, I ask you to send me your By-Laws for our committee to compare it to our existing document. The Committee was 100% onboard with our rough draft that we presented to the leadership board. But a powerbroker got a hold of the chairman, and the bottom dropped out. Next thing I knew I was fired. Forty plus years of experience and after only 18 months in this church, I was fired overnight.
All this after taking a leap of faith and relocating across the country with an 98% vote of affirmation from the congregation and a ten year covenant agreement from the leadership. Pretty confirming. We sold everything, bought land, started building a house, and in that process, I was dismissed – even after experiencing exponential growth in 18 months. It was brutal, cruel, and evil. One month severance. 24 hours to vacant office.
I when I asked on what biblical grounds is this decision was made, the chairman coldly replied, “We don’t need any. We’re in charge.” The next day my wife and I packed up my office under the supervision of three board members. Strange.
This happened 2.5 years ago. God called us to start a new church the very next Sunday, and He is sustaining us. But hearing this story repeat itself is still painful.
I’m so sorry, Vic. I hate reading stories like yours. But I’m glad God moved quickly with the next assignment.