Prioritize your family. Never stop serving the church. These two ideas are not at odds. My family is my primary ministry. They matter more to me than any local church. For that reason, I hope my family thrives in our church. One effective way I can nurture that love and growth in my family, especially with my kids, is by involving them in ministry.
The Lord has blessed my wife and me with three sons. They love our church family, and our church loves them. I’m genuinely grateful. Regarding the church, I hope my kids will love others well and feel loved in return. It’s a joy to have my kids involved in my life and our church community. Here are a few ways I strive to maintain that joy:
- Encourage them to find a place to serve. I want every young person in our church, including my sons, to discover a role in service. I hope they will embrace this role and serve Jesus faithfully. Admittedly, service manifests itself differently in children depending on their age, personality, and other factors. Nevertheless, I hope my sons will always contribute to the church.
- Take them with me on trips and speaking engagements. My life involves a lot of travel. Whenever I go out of town, I always try to take one of my family members along. Not only does it help keep me accountable, but it also allows me to spend time with those I love the most. My wife always joins me at our denomination’s annual meeting. My oldest son usually travels with me for two or three-day trips. My younger sons may accompany me to one-day speaking engagements. My boys often mention how much they enjoy these times together, and I’m so glad the opportunity is there.
- Explain certain aspects of my job. Church leaders’ kids witness many events in the church that other children don’t experience. It’s inevitable. Therefore, instead of having them feel confused or frustrated, I strive to clarify why certain things are happening. I want them to understand why Dad might have more evening meetings than usual. I want them to know why a specific person no longer attends our church. I explain how my job differs from other jobs. I don’t share everything about the church with my kids. However, I do try to keep them informed to a certain extent.
- Surround them with godly individuals in our church. One of the beautiful realities of the church is that we are a family who helps each other improve. The people in our church help guide my journey as a Christian, and by God’s grace, I also support their growth. The same goes for my children. The church assists my kids in their walk with Jesus. Thus, I involve my sons in my ministry by surrounding them with those who will help them become better men of God.
- Elevate joy and laughter. Having fun is always preferable to the alternative. We have a very lively household. Humor and playfulness are significant aspects of our lives. Therefore, we carry that humor and playfulness to church as well. We laugh, we play, and we relish being with others who enjoy laughter and play. Of course, there’s a time to be serious and solemn. I teach this to my children as well. However, I would fail my children if they came to see church and ministry as dull and boring. May it never be so.
- Talk about them in my preaching and teaching. My kids usually enjoy it when I mention them, but that may not always be the case. I also know each kid is unique, so I use discernment. When I am in doubt about whether something I say will bother my kids, I ask them ahead of time. Mentioning my kids in my preaching seems to connect the church with my family.
These are a few ways that I seek to involve my kids in my ministry. What has worked for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Posted on March 10, 2025
4 Comments
Hey Matt, thanks for your article! I have been the “music guy” on staff at our church for a long time (35 years). As our kids were growing up, they have always been very involved in church music and other ways of serving in our church. We have all enjoyed being in church, and our kids saw that from my wife and I, and I think that mindset was passed on. I think you and I see things the same way. I have heard other church staff people talk about letting their kids stay home from church so the kids wouldn’t get “burned out” with church things. That has always left a bad taste in my mouth! Our kids’ involvement in church was something they enjoyed, and it was preparing them to serve later on. Now they are all grown, have families of their own, and each one actively participates in their local church. No burnout. Thanks for your testimony about that. You have been an encouragement to me!
Thanks for reaching out, Scott, and thanks for your encouragement! Glad the article encouraged you as well.
Hey Matt–always enjoy your content! I’ve believed and taught that if I fail my family, I disqualify myself from the ministry (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:6). Here are a couple of my practices:
1. I prioritize driving to church with my family–especially when our kids were young. That sometimes meant driving to the church to take care of a task (turning up the heat, sound system checks, or dealing with an issue) then driving back home so we could travel together. I was still there 20-30 minutes before service times and people got used to my practice & conviction. Now that our kids are adults they remember driving to church together (and home afterwards as I got to hear about their mornings).
2. When I had evening meetings I prioritized compensation time for one of my kids’ activities. They understood that I had to miss some things, but they also understood that they really were my higher priority.
Thanks, for sharing, Jim. My boys ride with me every week. They’re troopers!