Several weeks ago, I wrote a post about how non-Christians perceive Christians. The article was based on an interchange with one non-Christian lady on this blog. I was surprised at the number of responses, including those from a number of non-Christians. I am grateful for all who responded.
A few Christians were concerned that I might be compromising my beliefs and convictions by writing the post. To the contrary, I still hold firmly to the exclusivity of the gospel and the mandate to evangelize. But, while I am convicted about the never-changing message of the gospel, I am concerned how we messengers sometimes treat others who don’t believe as we do.
For now, I have provided four examples of what non-Christians are asking of Christians. They were all comments at different points on my blog. Each section represents a different non-Christian.
Demonstrate Respect and the Interest of Others
I can certainly understand that it might be very uncomfortable for you to witness – as a technique for attracting potential followers, it seems very forced and artificial, and it renders any attempt to express real friendship towards the recipient seem insincere and not a little sinister.
I’m an atheist, so you may be tempted to disregard my views. However, I’ve been on the receiving end of numerous attempts to witness, and I’ve never felt that any of the people who made these attempts had my interests at heart, or would offer me the basic respect of considering the possibility, however faint, that I’d put genuine thought into my position; that I might be sincere in my lack of belief.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of your prey – I suspect that you’ll become better people for making the effort.
Don’t Condescend and Discriminate
First I want to thank you for posting this, for being forthcoming and for all the encouraging comments.
I use the moniker darb because I live in the heart of the Bible belt and am concerned about repercussions of being a public atheist. We are, after all, the most reviled groups in America, even behind Muslims. I am concerned about hiring bias. I am concerned about downsizing bias. I am concerned about my children being ostracized or bullied. I am concerned because I have seen it happen.
It is SO refreshing to hear the accepting attitudes I hear in these comments. I only wish I could be assured that these were majority attitudes amongst Christians. I wish that good folks like you would speak out against those who would discriminate against me. I wish I could be myself without fearing proselytizing, condescension or worse. After all, we are all just humans trying to make our way in this uncertain world.
Really Care about the Non-Christian and Show It
This is very much how I tend to perceive approaches from would-be witnesses. I’ve read several posts in which people (believers) have expressed the desire to witness through ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ and I’d personally have a lot more respect for someone whose life expressed the spirit of their religious belief as opposed to attempting to fill that quota. The Christians I’ve remembered with fondness were those who actually cared about other people; the ones who appeared to express the legalistic, judgmental and relentless and cultish urge to convert were, honestly, kind of a pain in the —. Not people I respected or would want know.
As a non-Christian, I have to say that 90% of these comments continue to back up the point from the article. Most of them talk about “waiting to develop a relationship before witnessing” or something of the sort. There are over 20 major religions in the world, never mind the number of smaller subsets. Has it ever just occurred to Christians that we just don’t believe the same thing you do? That we don’t think you’re right? That we don’t, at any point, want your prayers or your opinions on how we should think? If Christians are going to be so narrow minded that they are only going to have relationships with people that think the same thing they do, or think that they are better than people that don’t agree with them, why would we want to have a relationship? If you can’t look past my religious preferences (or lack thereof) and see me as a PERSON, I’ll just hang out with my open minded, non-preachy friends.
Demonstrate Compassion and Respect
Here’s a bright idea: STOP PRESSURING OTHERS TO JOIN YOUR RELIGION. If someone doesn’t want to join your church, that doesn’t make them a jerk. They’re entitled to their own beliefs, just like you’re entitled to yours. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you really want the rest of the world to accept you, then you need to accept the rest of the world. Stop focusing on how many souls you can save and start focusing on being a good person. And by ‘good person’, I mean being compassionate and generous, not paraphrasing a book written three thousand years ago on a street corner.
I don’t hate Christians, but because of the way I’ve been treated in the past, I’m wary of them. If you want to be respected, then do some respecting in return.
What Do You Think?
What do you Christians think about these admonitions from non-Christians? What do you who aren’t Christians want to say to the Christian community?
Posted on July 31, 2013
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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102 Comments
I find most Christians are too silent, hoping someone will ask about their good life. Preach the news! There is something amazingly clarifying about words, which is why Jesus is the Word. We are to take no for an answer, shake the dust from our feet and go elsewhere if rejected, but it is respectful to assume someone can stand on their own two feet in an intellectual challenge and evaluate the new info on its merits. And it is loving with the long view of love to insinuate someone’s house is on fire and salvation is both necessary and available! Speak! Silence is by far the greater danger. I have faith that none of you is firing nonChristians (uh, wut??) Or calling people names , or neglecting to serve the people around you in genuine care. Speak! “For I am not ashamed of the gospel….”
Amen. I believe the bigger problem is that Christians are far to silent about the hope that they have within. And my concern is that articles like this give believers who are already uncomfortable with sharing their faith justification for not doing so (I don’t believe that this is the intent of the author)
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord…” Romans 6:23. In this passage there are two words that jump out: death and gift. It is “gift” that is the star here. A gift is something freely given and freely received. No one was ever forced to receive a gift because at the point of force it would cease to be a gift. I love Jesus and I want the world to know Him as I do, but had I been forced and coerced to believe in Him, I may not be a Christ follower today. Each person should be afforded the opportunity to receive or reject God’s gift. It is my responsibility as a Christ follower to live each day in a way that brings Him glory and to be ready to give a reason for the faith that I have to anyone who asks. I want to focus MORE on reflecting the beauty and character of Christ so that people might be interested in hearing my story! What each one chooses to do from that point is completely up to them.
One more comment to add–I live in a very liberal area where I am certainly the minority as a Christian. It is surprising and very sad to hear all of the negative experiences posted here by people who have been treated with disdain and disrespect in the bible belt region. There are many people who have grown up calling themselves Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, etc. but who do not actively practice the tenets of that faith. The same is true of Christianity. The true message of Christ is found in the Bible and the evidence of true Christianity can be seen in a life that is changing.
It is not easy to walk the line between witnessing and pushing your beliefs on to someone who doesn’t want to hear them. In my experience, actions speak much louder than words. If I do my best to love and care for others the way that Christ loves and cares for me, there is a much greater chance that they will be ASKING rather than me just trying to tell them. I saw a t-shirt recently that said “Preach the gospel daily. Use words when necessary.” I think that says it all!
A phrase from Andy Stanley is appropriate here: when you read the gospels you see that people very much unlike Jesus liked Jesus. And Jesus seemed to like them
Seems to me this should be the same with the Church. If not, whatdoes this say about the Church and local church, especially if it proclaims Christ and His gospel? Christians have the best news ever – Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I think unfortunately we get in the way all too often.
It is not our witness that saves anyone. It is the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We don’t get to choose who gets saved…..that’s still God’s decision. You know, there have been times when “let ’em burn” could have been applied to you because you weren’t the “right” kind of Baptist (or any other denomination). None of us has a lock on the Holy Mysteries and it’s time we stopped acting like we did.
So non-Christians have no problem with Christians as long as they don’t evangelize…just as whites in the Jim Crow South didn’t any problem with blacks as long as they didn’t get too “uppity.”
Hmmm…very powerful…very convicting. I have always said, “Love the person…hate the sin.” We must offer others the same grace (giving that which is not deserved) we have received through Christ. If you are honest with yourself, I believe we can all say, “It was not long ago that I ___(fill in the blank with sin)__ too!”
In regards to witnessing, when we are able to remember that God is sovereign (Rom. 11:33-34) and that salvation is a Divine Act of Grace (Eph. 2:8), it takes an enormous burden off of our shoulders. We do not have to worry and carry the burden of whether or not we will have the right words (Mt. 10:19, Is. 50:4), we must simply be concerned that we are acting in love and have the right attitude and disposition. Sometimes God uses us and our moments with the “lost” to lead them to salvation, and sometimes He uses us as “stepping stones” for them in their process of coming to that point of salvation (1 Cor. 3:7). What kind of stepping stone are you? One that helps them “step” safely to the next, or one that causes them to fall into the mire?
All is from Him…for Him…through Him.
I want to point out some things I read in the non-christians comments that I think lend themselves as to why I believe some of the objections to be disingenuous.
“Has it ever just occurred to Christians that we just don’t believe the same thing you do? That we don’t think you’re right? That we don’t, at any point, want your prayers or your opinions on how we should think? If Christians are going to be so narrow minded that they are only going to have relationships with people that think the same thing they do, or think that they are better than people that don’t agree with them, why would we want to have a relationship? If you can’t look past my religious preferences (or lack thereof) and see me as a PERSON, I’ll just hang out with my open minded, non-preachy friends.”
It has occurred to us that you don’t believe the same thing we do. That’s the point. But, because we believe in God, that all have sinned and are inherently evil and that Jesus is God’s plan for redemption, we choose to bring this message to you in hopes that you will be saved from punishment. As far as being narrow-minded, when you say that you will hang out with your open-minded, non preachy friends, it seems that you really mean people who agree with you at a fundamental level.
“They’re entitled to their own beliefs, just like you’re entitled to yours. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you really want the rest of the world to accept you, then you need to accept the rest of the world. Stop focusing on how many souls you can save and start focusing on being a good person. And by ‘good person’, I mean being compassionate and generous, not paraphrasing a book written three thousand years ago on a street corner.”
I am troubled at this because being a good person is not enough. What he is actually saying is “hey, I’m a good person, I’m compassionate and generous. I don’t need saving from anything so stop hassling me”. It is true that you can make moral choices without a belief in God, but it doesn’t mean your choices are made in a vacuum. While the bible may have been written 3,000 years ago, it doesn’t make it less relevant. that is a genetic fallacy.
It seems by in large that these objections are mainly the clash of worldviews that one might expect. veiled in these objections is the belief that a)they are good people according to their own definition of good. b) they believe the bible is an old dusty book that has no bearing on their modern lives and c)they are right and we are wrong.
I’m not sure what you can really do to change a person’s outlook on Christians. The only thing I could say is what Greg Koukl has said before. The Gospel is controversial, but make sure the controversy is the message and not the messenger.
It was St Francis of Assissi that is credited with saying; “Wherever you go preach the gospel, and if necessary use words.” We would do well to learn from these observations and change our tack somewhat. For we are but a “clanging gong” to such as these because of our lack of love and compassion. We need to be Jesus to them, and allow His Spirit to do the same work He has done in us who now believe. Let’s not forget that we were once as they are, but by God’s grace.
1. It has been proven that St. Francis of Assisi never said this
2. This misquote is often used by people who want to avoid the awkwardness or discomfort of actually witnessing to people who might not accept or receive what is being said, and might even be antagonistic towards it.
2. Saying “Preach the Gospel and if necessary use words” is like saying “Give me your phone number, and if necessary use digits.” The Gospel is a message to be lived AND proclaimed. How many people have surrendered their lives to Christ based solely on seeing a Christian’s life and example without someone explaining the basis for that example? There are plenty of moral, “good” people out there who don’t believe in Jesus. If you intend to preach the Gospel, at some point words will be necessary.
I’m curious as to who “proved” St. Francis did not say this? And whether he actually did or did not misses the point: Proclaiming the Gospel is largely a matter of how we live our lives as followers of Jesus Christ. Each life is a sermon. I’m often reminded of that in conversations with teens at my parish who are watching me and what I do and say!
Evangelism has gotten a bad rap among so many because of the tendency of some to use our faith as a club to bludgeon folks about the head and shoulders rather than to witness to the faith in us. The old “hell fire and damnation” preaching model does nothing for me except make me walk away. I’m inclined to think such is also the case for many we want to reach. We CANNOT coerce, abuse, bully, intimidate folks into having faith in Jesus Christ. Nor should we ever use those tactics.
I am always reminded of how the Gospel’s portray Jesus’ ministry: He invited. He offered. He used irony and some humor. He did not belittle or badger anyone into following him. His righteous anger and indignation were directed at “the religious” of his day who did not have the best reputation for living out what God had given them. He didn’t hang out with or do much ministry among the established of society. Instead he was always with those on the margins, those society cast out, those who lacked material wealth and status…….hardly where we come down today.
We reap the work of those who have often abused the Gospel and abused people with it. We can learn from that or we can continue to repeat the same patterns, getting the same (lack of) results, also known as the definition of insanity. We can learn from history or be destined to repeat its mistakes. We can listen to those we have managed to turn away or we can go our insular and siloed ways wondering what happened???
Bruce
Well said, Bruce.
None of these responses come as any surprise. And I think we need to pay attention. But, all of these responses also reveal the underlying reason for their negative view of Christ and His message. They do not want their lives to be changed by the Gospel. That is why most atheists are what they are. I try to get to know people in the community in which I serve and I try to share Jesus on a gentle and loving basis but the bottom line is the Gospel is offensive to non believers and always will be. Our “Niceness” is not going to make it any better. No one is going to come to the Lord except by the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said “shake the dust of you feet” and while that may be hard to do we cannot compromise our work because some think we are doing it wrong. We are not reaching people because we are not going, not because we are doing it wrong.
You write “None of these responses come as any surprise. And I think we need to pay attention. But, all of these responses also reveal the underlying reason for their negative view of Christ and His message. They do not want their lives to be changed by the Gospel.”
A simple question: Are we looking for their lives to be changed by the Gospel the way WE view or envision change? Or are we open hearted and clear minded enough to allow for the possibility that the way we see the change and the way God sees the change may not always look the same? We tend to look at lives changed by the Gospel through our own experiences. How that happens in others may be totally different. God reaches each of us in God’s time and in God’s way.
Thank you so much for this post, so powerful. I can really see where these folk are coming from with their comments. When I put myself in their shoes I’m sure I would feel the same. In response to the comment above about balancing the need to evangelise…spread the good news… and to respect others, I would say these are one and the same. I see myself as called to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, not to be his megaphone. I want to do as Jesus saw his Father do. I want to love God, love others as myself. Zaccheus’ heart melted when Jesus treated him as a person, respected him, spent time with him and modelled a different way of doing life. In terms of how many come to know Jesus through me, I’m not keeping count, there may be many who I never know about, there may be some I would dearly long their whole loves to be in relationship with Jesus, and still I might not know if they make a choice in their dying moments. All I need to know is that I’ve loved people and have been obedient to he who loved me first, even when I was far away from him, back turned and utterly undeserving of his love. That’s all. It’s the scandal of his amazing and all-sufficient grace.