Nine Concerns about Church Members Who Withhold Their Financial Gifts

The story is too common, but I hear such stories repeatedly. My most recent conversation was with a church leader where an affluent church member offered to make a large contribution to the renovation of the worship center. He had one stipulation: the worship center had to be named in memory of his late mother. The leader politely declined. The affluent member did not make the donation. To the contrary, he began withholding all of his gifts to the church.

Almost every pastor and church leader has some story about members withholding their financial gifts as an act of protest about the direction of the church and its leadership. I have never known such a situation that had any positive affect. Such is the reason I offer nine concerns about this practice.

  1. It assumes that we are the actual owners of our finances. That is unbiblical thinking. God gives to us everything we have. We are the stewards of these gifts. Such is the reason we use the word “stewardship.”
  2. No church is perfect. If every member protested about an imperfection in a local congregation, no church would ever receive funds. This selfish act is not the way to resolve concerns.
  3. This practice is divisive. One of the most precious resources of any congregation is unity. The withholding of financial gifts is an act of disunity and divisiveness.
  4. It is controlling. The church member who withholds financial gifts seeks to get his or her way. Such is not the spirit of Paul’s words in Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.”
  5. It is self-serving. When Paul penned 1 Corinthians 12, he emphasized how we are to function in the body of Christ. Our motive for serving is for Christ and others before ourselves.
  6. It is demoralizing. Paul wrote in Romans 14:19, “So we must pursue what promotes peace and builds up one another.” This practice has the opposite effect.
  7. It backs church leaders into a corner. Leaders have one of two options. They can yield to the church member and thus affirm a sinful practice. Or they can refuse to yield and continue the conflict that was started by the member. It is a lose-lose situation.
  8. If the church member truly has serious disagreements with the direction of the church, he or she should pursue other paths. They can address their concerns with leaders in the church directly. If members still have serious concerns and no resolution seems possible, it may be best to go to another church. It is much healthier to give to another church than to withhold from your present church.
  9. This practice never has a positive outcome. Even if the member gets his or her way, unity and trust are broken at many levels. The body of Christ is always wounded by this practice.

This topic is both sensitive and challenging. I certainly am not the fount of wisdom. Let me hear your thoughts and ideas.

Posted on February 4, 2015


With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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83 Comments

  • It is interesting that you write on this today as I just had an influential member come in and tell me that there are “people” who are considering or have already started withholding funds. The reason given for their decision is that they don’t like a gentlemen in our church who teaches for me if I am away or out sick. Though this man has not been brought on as an associate pastor or anything, and isn’t looking to be brought on to staff.
    This is especially frustrating and hurtful because we are a smaller congregation, and so the withholding certainly is felt a little quicker for us. It is also more ironic since this past Sunday I just preached on the body of Christ walking in unity, encouraging one another to live a godly life and to fulfill the Great Commission. While I am frustrated by this, my heart is also broken for these people.

    Thank you for sharing this post.

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Justin –

      I am praying for all of you right now.

      • Reginald Gabel says on

        As those who withhold funds because of their judgment of what is right or wrong, are they ready for their life to be judged the same way. Sure their maybe times to withhold but if it that bad would it not be time to find another fellowship, of course only after pray and trying to reach out to the staff for understanding. Communication is so vital in the church today.

    • I’d consider it potentially useful advice from the congregation. Have you listened to the gentleman who is your substitute? I’d try to find out what they don’t like and be looking for someone else to fill in. I’m not advocating caving in, but I have heard plenty of guest speakers and substitutes who were horrible. Many were relatives of church leaders and so nothing could be said.

      • I believe a Pastor MUST listen to the misgivings members have. Many times, members see things we, as Pastors, don’t.

        I would suggest filming a couple of teaching sessions by this person and reviewing the film (or DVD) with the members that have a problem. That way, you protect the person’s dignity while, hopefully, solving the problem.

  • People withholding their giving for the reasons above (self-elevation, control, etc) should be politely asked to leave. Or maybe firmly told to leave. I’m sorry the church couldn’t accommodate your financial giving request. Your attitude now though, no matter our ministry efforts, makes plain that you are unhappy with the ministry, and unfortunately it would be best for you to attend elsewhere at this point. Individuals like this are self-concerned, wanting control and attention, demoralizing of others, and divisive on a regular basis. Too many churches, however, are in over their heads financially, and will be tempted by a large gift offer. Too many pastors aren’t willing to risk their salaries to stand up to such demanding people, who try to use their finances (and other things) to manipulate. Perhaps the real question is, does the pastor/leadership have parameters for behavior in the church, so they are prepared to deal with situations like the above? The pastor you mention did, thankfully, to the degree that he/she declined the large gift. In a parameter-free culture, it’s imperative that pastors and leadership have parameters and know what they are and why. The demanding congregant’s giving and attitude (in particular) are between him (or her) and God. The leadership has to manage the atmosphere of the church in a Biblical manner, keeping sin–and wretched attitudes–at bay while working to glorify God with the ministry. Too many churches are overrun these days with demanding individuals with attention-getting personalities and some of us long for leadership who will draw some firm lines.

  • Interesting to note that Jesus did not protest the widow giving her 2 mites at the temple, even though it supported a corrupt system led by Sadducees who did not even believe in the supernatural. Also on the other side of this issue, we must be on guard against the sin of Simony, Acts 8, allowing people to buy influence and position in the church through their giving. D.L. Moody once sent back a large donation by an unsaved man, and attached a letter explaining that he was afraid the man would use the gift to appease his conscience and hinder him from truly accepting Christ.

    • What I see in the text about the widow, is a protest.

      Read the text in its context. Jesus had just warned His audience to beware of those who rob widow’s houses. Then He sits against a wall facing the Treasury.

      Along comes a widow, who drops all she has to live on into the Treasury. It appears the story is demonstrating how widow’s houses are being robbed, rather than honoring the widow.

      Just my observation.

  • Very good post. The same can be said of those who would designate their gifts to a church away from things with which they have disagreement. For example, if there is a disagreement with a staff member, designating tithes and offerings away from salaries. This practice is also divisive and does not seek to live in peace with one another.

  • Mrs.berry says on

    Thom,
    thank you for your post.
    All of your postings are very interesting to read even out of curiosity.
    Are you seeing a trend in our culture now more than ever, the love of money? In statistics, I’ve been told that finances are the number one problem for married couples that lead to divorce. Is that also true for the American Church?
    May I strongly encourage all of us to keep our hearts, minds, and strength on God. He knows our every need.
    I’ll give my story:
    Our church is a small country gathering. We had a business guy, well-known in our community, start coming to our church. It wasn’t long before he became a deacon. He started going behind the pastor’s back telling people that there was no money and the church was going to close. He started suggesting that the church should stop paying the pastor. Well, due to this guy being so powerful on earth, people, one by one filed out the door. Then the guy left with his followers. Praise God!!! God has kept the doors open to our church house. He has provided to the pastor and his household. God knows all our needs!!! Keep Him in your heart, soul, and mind.
    Love to all.

  • Personally, I see giving tithes and offerings as a worship experience. That worship is directed to God, not a local congregation. To me, withholding worship sends a message about one’s relationship with God more than how one feels about his local church.

    • Well said Steve! I was wondering when this point was going to be brought up. I personally do not see my money that goes into the offering plate a donation to the church but more of a act of worship. I don’t give my money to a pastor but to the Lord. If there is a problem in the church I will seek to deal with it but I won’t stop tithing. I personally think we should never stop giving. If I feel lead to leave a particular church and join a new body of Christ than I will do so but I will not stop worshiping through my tithes.

  • Dr. Rainer, to add to your comment to Dallas, the Israelites kept giving and presenting offerings to God under the evil sons of Eli. I have thought on this passage on how they trusted God and obeyed despite the obvious leadership. What is sad to me is that the body was more affected in the example above.

    I really liked how you showed it is divisiveness. I served a church that choose not to pay me fully for 4 months…. but GOD rewarded my faithfulness to not be the contentions one and create division. Finally, some men in the body took up the issue and resolved to right the wrong. the body was healed as a result.

    • I appreciate the added context. We really do need to be looking for the Lord’s leading when confronted with a situation like this. Perhaps he will give us peace that things will be resolved, and we should continue in our gifting. The difference in the example that you are giving is that Israel was under compulsion to give, while we are not. I think that it is important to give, but with all the options that we have available , if we have concerns about the entity that we are currently supporting, I don’t think it would be a big deal to redirect your giving for a season.

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Great story, Chris!

  • Thank you Thom for this message today.

    This is something that my wife and I are struggling with terribly. I am in regular prayer about it for guidance and wisdom. We would appreciate any thoughts and guidance anyone may provide.

    We are currently members and active at two churches; one is well established, well funded, and well known in the larger community. One is a new plant in our city, truly an answer to our long, long prayers for another Scripture grounded church family that has expository preaching.

    The established church had an excellent history of ministry to and with all generations of attenders and members. Suddenly, without any preparation or explanation from leadership, 3 of the key ministries were eliminated. Not surprisingly there was a firestorm. Leadership dug it’s defensive heels in.

    An informal leader of the church, loved and greatly respected, quietly approached the Senior Pastor asking for an explanation and context for the decision. When he was rebuffed things really began to get ugly and all the makings of a split began to form with membership. I approached one of the next in line pastors and at a lunch asked for help in how to explain the changes to people that were approaching me in a way that would be consistent with leadership, truthful and loving. The response I received broke my heart; “What’s the matter with your bible study group, don’t they know and understand that they are to honor their leadership?”.

    Several other approaches were attempted by other members that came to naught.

    Over the coming months a very noticeable drop in attendance occurred. The number of monthly baptisms and new members dropped.

    We decided to move our offering from mostly general funds to all missions and outreach. After 3 years of stagnation and decline, leadership finally gave a general, nebulous apology. It was a typical political non-apology apology.

    Did we do right?

    In the new church plant we came in at the launch point after at least a dozen meetings and meals with the pastor.

    Long story short what we were told was going to be done; community focused, mission driven, integrate into the life of our community, etc, has not happened. Actually it is worse than that because the multi campus bug bit them early on and now the focus, energy and treasure is going to another new campus in an adjoining city.

    Several attempts at talking with leadership were made to help us understand these changes. No meaningful explanation was given, the message to us was basically “trust us, we know what we are doing”.

    Over the last year an amazing church plant that many people who are either under-churched or non-churched were checking out and becoming involved with has stagnated and even declined. This broke our hearts.

    We moved our offering from general funds to a para-church mission that we have a history with and complete confidence.

    Did we do right?

    We want to be excellent stewards of the treasure God has entrusted to us while we are on this earth. Recent history is strewn with examples of church financial malfeasance (amongst other malfeasance). What is Biblically sound thing to do? What other recourse do we have as members and informal leaders to get the attention of leadership?

    Any thoughts, questions, directions would be greatly appreciated.

    • No. You did not do right by giving to a para-church mission instead of the church. There is no Scriptural support for that.

      • We are compelled to give (not tithe) to the Lord, in faith as an act of obedience and sacrifice, toward Kingdom work on Earth; The “big-C” Church is much bigger than the building we worship and serve at on Sundays and Wednesdays; the “big-C” Church certainly encompasses missions, radio and television evangelism, Christian relief organizations, seminaries, Bible drives and more — all often the work of para-church entities. I understand the case against “protest withholding,” but any and all giving to the Lord in or out of one’s “little-C” church of membership is not wrong.

      • So what should we have done?

        Tithe to a church we are not members?

        We are giving that portion of our tithe to Compassion International which is a rock solid application of Christ’s love and service.

      • Tithes and offerings are to go to the Lord; in His physical absence, we give them to His agents. Scripture conveys this as the “Big-C” Church, which includes our chosen houses of worship/service (“little-C churches), but also non-church-affiliated ministries and missions that fall under the banner of the para-church. The world would miss the works of Billy Graham, World Vision, Operation Blessing, and other such organizations that effectively minister and evangelize a broken, hurting and fallen world as agents of His Church, but that aren’t necessarily aligned to A church.

      • Please give me scriptural reference that shows the tithe needs to go to the church. While I believe that generally is the case, it is an assertion that needs to be defended Biblically if it is to be made an absolute.

    • More than anything, I think that it stinks that you were put into a situation where you felt forced to make such a decision. I personally don’t think that you are doing anything wrong, but it is likely not a long term solution. If you are going to remain involved within one of these congregations something will have to give at some point. I think that the way that we handle money corporately is important, and if you don’t feel comfortable enough with the decision makers to continue giving, then it is likely not the place for you.

      • Agreed, it isn’t a long term solution as we are in watchful waiting mode and continue to serve where and when we can.

        God will give us the clear signals as to what to do and when to do it.

    • >Did we do right?

      I’ve forgotten which Pope it was, that described his position as “servant to the servants”.

      Without complete financial transparency, there is no servitude.

    • Someone has wisely said, “It is never right to do wrong to do right.” I believe the tithe should go to the local church, not to parachurch organizations. I respect the fact that you have ethical difficulties with some of the decisions of your church, but it seems to me that withholding your tithe is the wrong way to deal with it. I would encourage you to keep tithing to that church or find yourself another one. If people are misusing the money, they’ll answer to Someone bigger than you. After all, it’s His money!

    • I personally would not be able to stay involved in such a situation…if the churches are not being biblical and are not responsive to requests for explanation/accountability/appropriate change/keeping their promises, then you should ask God if He wants you involved there or to go somewhere else. If I am a member of a church, they will receive my tithe…if their practices have become such that I can no longer support them financially, then I don’t believe I should support them with my membership and service either. Thus if it is not bad enough for me to leave, it is also not bad enough for me to quit giving.

      When I am looking for a church home (as when I have moved to a new city or in a situation where I left a church that was harboring unrepentant congregational/staff sin) I have no problem designating my tithe to a parachurch or missions organization UNTIL I find a new church home.

  • Jeff Marchand says on

    Great article and topic as always!

    The biblical principle of tithing/offering should not be withheld for any reason. To the point of the article I can see situations where maybe it could be temporarily redirected. However even then I’m unsure. This same article could have been written with taxes instead in mind. Do we withhold taxes because of a disagreement with the government? I don’t think Jesus would endorse that practice. The same principle would also apply to “the things that are God’s”.

    Mark 12:17 And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him.

    • I just happened to read a good comment on another blog that touches on this subject.

      http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/54231/comment-page-1#comment-958055

      We are not under the tithe, which is the law, the offerings that we give are free will offerings. Our attitude toward the money that we are steward over is of greater importance than some percieved commitment to give that gift to a certain place. I think that it is right to support our local congregation, but if something comes up that makes you think twice about the stewardship of those that control that money, it may be worth considering whether to continue giving either until the issue is resolved or you have discerned whether you should be moving on.

  • This post is spot on!

    In addition, I have seen certain members given preferential treatment and undo influence because of how much they give.

  • Dr. Rainer,

    Thanks for doing a post on this sin within the Body of Christ. Leadership should never yield to those who try to manipulate financial decisions for their own personal agendas or pleasure in the local church.

    There is one caution that church leaders should have concerning giving in the church and Capital Funds campaigns. I know that in the past my thought process has been, “These folks are not giving because they are out God’s will concerning this project.” Sometimes the giving results are telling us to wait for the right time to take on a ministry project or building campaign. I know that in two out of the four major campaigns we took in congregations served, it would have been better to wait. Leadership should make sure they do not manipulate “God’s direction” in the name of their own desire. If leaders are sure, press on.

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Well said, Danny. Thank you.

    • I was reading through 2 Corinthians with some fresh eyes recently, and having previously had those sections on money chopped up and out of context, I never really realized before that Paul is very much fund raising. He has a project in mind (leading from God) and is no so subtly telling the congregation in Corinth that they are going to be the ones funding it. The words, “These folks are not giving because they are out God’s will concerning this project” could almost have been pulled out of that letter. Not necessarily disagreeing with you, but somthing I found interesting.

  • In the example given ( and probably in most examples) the information that you are relaying seems wise, but if a situation were to arise like mentioned in #8, would there be any wisdom in finding another outlet for your giving until things have been worked through. In reading that it reminded me that during the whole Mark Driscoll situation it was reported that giving at Mars Hill was down significantly. Now, most of us wouldn’t be dealing with a nationally known pastor coming under scrutiny, but I would wonder what advice you might have if something like that were to play out on a smaller scale. Would it be wise to hold off on giving until you could be more sure that you are truly being a good steward by giving to this particular entity?

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Dallas –

      There are times where a pause in giving may be appropriate, but I really believe it should be prayerful and brief. And, as you noted, it should be used as a time of reflection and discernment, and not as a matter of protest.

      Thanks.

    • If there is any valid reason to withhold giving (doubtful), that entire amount should be given when the “crisis” is over.

    • In my opinion, withholding your giving is never an appropriate response. If the pastor is doing something immoral or unethical, the church has a duty to deal with it, but they should open and upfront about it. The “cut his pay and starve him out” approach is both underhanded and unethical.

      If the church leadership won’t deal with the pastor’s behavior, and members feel they can no longer support the work of the church in good conscience, then changing churches might be appropriate. However, I think members who go this route should at least have the decency to let the leadership know why they are leaving. If they don’t, then it seems to me they’re just as guilty as the people they criticize.

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