I am a bona fide redneck at heart. I was born and raised in LA (lower Alabama), and I currently live in Tennessee. I love country music, boiled goobers, Bama football, and at least one cold one a day (diet coke). I was so ingrained in Southern culture as a child that I thought anything north of Birmingham was Yankee territory.
With my unashamed redneck background, I am inestimably equipped to understand and share redneck vocabulary. As you can imagine, these are not original with me; they are pervasive on the Internet. For today, I will share with you what rednecks hear when they hear a medical term. Enjoy.
Artery – the study of paintings.
Bacteria – back door to the cafeteria.
Barium – what doctors do when patients die.
Benign – what you be after you be eight.
Cat scan – searching for kitty.
Cauterize – made eye contact with her.
Colic – a sheep dog.
Coma – a punctuation mark.
Dilate – to live long.
Enema – not a friend.
Fester – quicker than someone else.
Fibula – a small lie.
Labor pain – getting hurt at work.
Morbid – a higher offer on eBay.
Nitrates – rates of pay for working at night (usually higher than day rates).
Node – I knew it.
Outpatient – a patient who fainted.
Pelvis – second cousin to Elvis.
Post operative – a mailman.
Recovery room – place to do upholstery.
Rectum – nearly killed him.
Secretion – hiding something.
Seizure – a Roman emperor.
Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport.
Tumor – one plus one more.
Urine – opposite of you’re out.
Posted on December 12, 2012
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
More from Thom
15 Comments
Brilliantly funny. Shared with our Pastor who loves this style of clean humor.
What a wonderful post! I spend a couple of minutes on reading, and I’m so excited
by the advice I received. It is actually hard to find
something valuable on that subject. But this author appears to be a genuine professional since there’s a special fashion in his writings.
I’m likely to sign up for his new books, not to skip anything.
This article worths its own reading.
We need more good clean humor… Bravo
Thank you!
Well if that ain’t slicker than whale dookie.
Since my family has been in Georgia for over 200 years I am not that far removed from “Redneck” Should I be concerned that I still understand every singe one?
Not concerned John, just rejoicing.
Living in Southern Oregon let me alert you to the fact that rednecks are not only in the south…why, if it weren’t for rednecks, no one would live in Southern Oregon. Been here over 20 yrs…two requirements: must have pickup truck; must have dog….
Being from Texas, I struggled to understand the point. All the words made perfect sense to me…….
I understand fully.
Wow.
Too Funny
Yep. But a great culture.
Dave –
Get out of Iowa more and come to Nashville to share some boiled goobers with me.