Sixteen Really Strange and Funny Things Pastors Have Been Asked to Do

May 4, 2016

“Pastor, I have a rat in my house. Please come get it!”

It’s a true story. I was the pastor. And I was over 30 minutes away from the senior adult who made the “request.” I tried to call several other church members on the phone to get them to help.

I could find no one. Strange.

I chased a rat in the senior adult’s home for over an hour.

I love pastors and church staff. I love hearing their stories. And, on occasion, I like to provide a bit of levity. Such has been my theme this week.

Today, I let these pastors and church staff persons speak for themselves. I made minor modifications to a few so the story does not inadvertently reveal the church members. I don’t want the pastor to get fired. No comments on my part are necessary.

  1. “A church member asked, during the Lord’s Supper, if we could have a prayer for her dog that had died earlier in the week.”
  2. “A church member called, telling me her neighbors sheep were out in the road. Of course, I was supposed to help since I was her shepherd.”
  3. “I officiated a funeral where the family did the wave and hit beach balls during the service.”
  4. “A lady called me to let me know her son-in-law wasn’t praying long enough before his bed time. She felt I needed to counsel him.”
  5. “A church member was a funeral home director. He called me frequently to help him pick up just-deceased bodies.”
  6. “A church member called to request I euthanize an injured rabbit.”
  7. “I was asked by a church member to bury a dog.”
  8. “I got a call from a church member asking me to inform a lady she has grandkids she didn’t know about.”
  9. “I was asked to baptize a body at a funeral.”
  10. “A lady brought a chirping bird into a worship service and asked me to ignore it.”
  11. “I was visiting a member of our church in the hospital. He insisted I hold his kidney stone. I was young, so I did.”
  12. “A church member asked me to do a funeral for his horse.”
  13. “A deacon, after checking on a clogged toilet in the men’s room, told the pastor, ‘You need to go to the men’s room with me. You’ve got to see this!’”
  14. “A church member asked me to put her mother’s funeral on my calendar. She wasn’t dead.”
  15. “I was asked to wear a crushed velvet hat for a wedding.”
  16. “A church member asked me to do an imitation of a character from The Princess Bride during the wedding ceremony.”

I have no doubt these stories are true. I’ve had many weird requests made of me as well.

Let me hear from you.

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196 Comments

  • Kevin Babbey says on

    I stopped to visit a church member rumoured to be a nudist. I did not call ahead beforehand, and saw for myself that the rumours were true.

  • Number 16 was me. I actually went along with the request. It was an outside wedding that was so hot and miserable and it needed the levity. “Wuv, two wuv…”

  • "Joan the Baptist" says on

    Chet, our Pastor, said he knew he’d “lost” the congregation, but didn’t know how come. It was a MOUSE who had come out of a little hole about 9 or 10 feet UP. Chet was still “preaching” to the “lost” congregation, when the mouse FELL! All eyes followed the adventure as a Deacon and youth came forward with a bucket and broom. While the ladies screamed and the kids laughed! The mouse was deposited OUTSIDE.

    Some months later Chet asked, “Can ANYBODY ELSE see that spider? It had come out of the high ceiling and spun right down before his eyes ~ his alone. We have to “WATCH” Chet regularly. “Joan the Baptist”

  • Bruce Christian says on

    I was asked by a mother to give her daughter a surprise wedding. She had promised her daughter if she graduated from high school the mother would give her a wedding.

    A lady in our church called me and told me she needed me to come to her home right away because her son-in-law and her grandsons were shooting at each other. I asked if the sheriff had been called. I waited 30 minutes and when I saw the sheriff’s car at their home I approached the house.

  • John Little says on

    Recently I had visited with a man who expressed interest in joining the church by statement. We were scheduled to bring that up at the next business meeting…but a 2 weeks before the meeting, he died. I mentioned at the business meeting he had desired to join but obviously now it was too late. Well…guess never too late in our church…before I knew it we had a motion and a second to receive into membership…this DEAD man.

  • K. Wood says on

    I received a call at the church office one day, asking if I knew someone who could breed her poodle. She got mad when I said no.

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