When the preferences of the church members are greater than their passion for the gospel, the church is dying.
Paul describes biblical church membership well in 1 Corinthians 12. When you are a biblical church member, you are a functioning church member. You serve others. You encourage others. You put the needs of others before your own needs. The members are not focused on their preferences. They are focused on others. Country club church members are focused on self.
Is it possible, then, to see some warnings before the church becomes a de facto country club? Yes, it is. When you start to see one or more members begin a pattern of making any of the following ten statements, you should hear those statements as warning signs.
1. “I am not getting fed.” While it is certainly possible that the pastor is not providing biblical preaching, most of the time this statement is an excuse to leave the church, to stop contributing to the church financially, or to stop doing ministry.
2. “I am not getting my needs met.” This statement is broad and sweeping. Ironically, we church members get our true needs met when we don’t seek to get our needs met. Serving others sacrificially is the true need of believers in Christ.
3. “I pay the bills of the church.” If you ever hear members talk about the importance of their financial gifts, you know you have a country club membership problem. The members see their gifts as country club dues that entitle them to get their own way. About 2,000 years ago, these people were called “Pharisees.”
4. “I don’t like the way our church budget is spent.” Most of the time, the meaning behind this sentence is, “I did not get my way with the church budget.”
5. “I don’t like the music style.” This statement is a classic preference-driven statement of a country club church member. Since they are paying their “dues,” they believe they have a right to have the type of music that is their personal preference.
6. “I don’t like the order of worship.” Similar to the previous item, this statement reflects an entitlement mentality rather than a servant mentality.
7. “I am leaving the church because I want a better youth/children’s program for my children.” I am grateful for missionaries and their children around the world that are ready to serve in churches outside their cultures. They don’t expect the church to have a menu of fun activities for their children. They want their children to learn to serve in the context where God has placed them. Maybe we should have that attitude in our own churches.
8. “I am mad because I didn’t get to vote on it.” This statement is more likely to be made in churches with a congregational government. Some of the members expect to vote on every decision and every expenditure. Such attitudes bring the ministry of the church to a grinding halt. There has to be a vote for even the small decisions.
9. “I think the pastor makes too much.” In a country club church, the members have the attitude that keeping the pastor poor will keep him humble. Not surprisingly, these country club church members do not want to practice that same humility.
10. “I don’t like the changes these new members are bringing.” That is another classic country club church membership statement. It reflects a concern that the new growth will dilute their power. And if that happens, the longer-term members might not get their way as they have for years.
When the preferences of the church members are greater than their passion for the gospel, the church is dying.
Country club church members are focused on their preferences. What would you add to this list? Let me hear from you.
Posted on February 28, 2022
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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51 Comments
Every point here is valid. My only critique is in your use of “Pharisee” in #3. Jesus himself was a Pharisaic rabbi. Using this word as a synonym for “hypocrite” or “selfish manipulator” is anti-Semitic. You can make your point without doing so at the expense of Jewish people.
Actually, it is not anti-Semitic when used in the proper context. A religious hypocrite is called a Pharisee because the Pharisees that Jesus frequently contended with were just that: hypocrites of their own choosing, omitting the weightier matters of the law in favor of mans traditions and personal interpretations. Nothing anti-Semitic about it.
Beyond what Ron says; Jesus was not a Pharisee. He didn’t fit their tradition in any way. They detested His ‘apparent’ disregard for their interpretation of the Torah.
He never criticized them as ‘legalists’, He commented that they should regard the ‘weightier matters’ of the Torah.
Humbly,
Joe
These 10 signs are spot on. I could not agree with their assessment more. Christians that are living out their lives in servitude to Jesus Christ would not be making such statements. Thanks for the informaiton. God Bless.
YES, Jerry
As I read the list, I was struck by the fact that several, if not most, are “silent” complaints. In Peter Steinke’s Healthy Congregations, he states that “nothing is more difficult to confront than hidden complaints.” He goes on to say that “underground complaining is a sign of insecure, dependent, and childish people.” The list of “infectious diseases” detracts from the health of the church, her mission, and the effectiveness of the Gospel. They distract and derail what God may want to do in the life of a church.
The good news: God can provide ways to overcome these attitudes and bring a church back to an understanding of the power of the Gospel. Acts 6:1-7 and Romans 1:16 point us in the right direction. Stay the course, elevate the Gospel, and trust that the circumstances of your church situation do not escape God’s care or concern. (preaching to myself in this post)
Good word, Bob.
As a Pastor I have experienced 9 out of ten of these. Unfortunately eight was at one church, I didn’t last long there needless to say.
I understand completely.
These questions and answers are simplistic and binary, and unfortunately represent a fact of church life, especially in larger churches.
God’s plan and purpose is to save and sanctify – or, cleanse, purge and purify, if you rather – and it is a long term and messy process. Some will and some won’t, but if you think you will avoid the mess and pain of the threshing floor, you will be disappointed. And That is complicated by the 501c3 church model.
As a pastor, just know and do God’s plan and still love the flock as best you can, knowing that some will, some won’t and some cannot. But don’t look for easy ways, shortcuts or alternatives. (So easy to say and yet so hard)
I really think a better term may be social club than country club. One of the overarching aspects of the “10 signs” listed is the focus on social (temporal) as opposed to spiritual. Once the church shifts from a faith-based to socially-focused organization, it has lost its way.
As I have learned (or relearned) recently, the polity of the Church is important. Education about the polity of the Church is important. For whatever reason, some believe Church membership is almost hereditary and leadership is conferred because Mr. John Smith III becomes a leader because Mr. John Smith Jr. and Mr. John Smith Sr. were leaders before them.
The hard part in many churches and denominations is the persistence of church with no apparent outside intervention for a majority of members. And when they don’t appear to have a voice they feel shut out.
Here’s a suggestion for people who make the #7 complaint. Instead of looking for another church, how about joining one of the smaller struggling churches and help them build up their youth and children’s ministries? Then again, that would require some effort on your part, wouldn’t it?
I worry that Maynard G. Krebs has become the poster boy for the modern American church (the younger folks might not get that reference, but I suspect Dr. Rainer will). His famous catchphrase was, “WORK?!!!!!”
Maynard was Maynard before he was Gilligan!
Or as my Pastor said when faced with this exact scenario: “God did not call me to provide an entertainment program for your children. God called me to do everything in my power to prepare your children to make Heaven their home”.
YES, Ron!
I Am truly impressed with this article. Your comment at the end of your article speaks volumes. We honestly need to examine ourselves to see if we have a country club or a true church. If we find, we have a congregation guilty of even some of these situations we have to pray and allow the Lord to guide us to correcting the problem. If it is allowed to continue to exist it is like cancer, it will continue to infect.
You have got to the truth of the problems in so many Churches in America.
When we return to biblical worship, (not entertaining, we are not there to entertain but to worship the God the Father and Lord Jesus Christ, and not committed to a one hour or hour a half-preprogramed service that doesn’t allow the Holy Spirit have liberty in the service. We must have those Teaching the word, called of the lord, true saved and committed elders obeying the Lord, not man. We should commit to obeying the Lord’s commandment in Mathew 28: 18-20.
Hear we have the Lord’s command to all His followers of every generation. The Church’s orders are very plain. Christ made it very plain. The preaching of the Gospel is centered upon repentance and Forgiveness of sins, to come out of this world, (separate themselves), from this corrupt generation. The instruction does not stop there. Spiritual purpose does not end there with conversion, not merely to enlarge the Church’s membership, but to make disciples, (students) that separate themselves from this world and obey the commands of Christ and are true committed followers of Him with all their heart and mind and wills.
Again, I must truly commend you for this article.
Thank you, Donald.
Thom’s little excellent book, “I Am a Church Member” is an excellent tool to address these issues. I used it in my new member’s class and also as a template for a sermon series.
https://www.amazon.com/Am-Church-Member-Discovering-Difference/dp/1433679736/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2QSRP5DB788UY&keywords=i+am+a+church+member+by+thomas+rainer&qid=1646100334&sprefix=I+Am+a+Church+Member%2Caps%2C131&sr=8-2
Thanks so much, Bob.
Thanks Thom. Since we are in Southern Alabama, not too far from the beaches, older retirees from other places kind of reflect #3 with caveat: Been there, done that and being retired means being retired from church leadership also. Their money is generally good, and they can afford to be generous. I have to be more creative in how I approach asking/expecting the giving of their time and experience. we have some young, upper-level professionals who take the #3 approach as well. Blessings
Nothing like LA — Lower Alabama.
Also, I would probably add when all missions & ministries become inwardly focused and the church begins to only cater to its own needs and there own people. They don’t have much outreach beyond the four walls of the church… they become to comfortable … with almost routined or outdated types of ministries .
True.
What if “new” person coming in arrive with some of these? I have experienced the newers saying that won’t return if the church keeps playing that old music, if the pastor keeps preaching on…, if children ministry doesn’t have XYZ available like the church down the road that they visited has, if all the decisions are made by members only, (and by the way, why do you expect a person to be a BAPTIZED believer rather than just a seeker?). So, not only a problem with those already in but those who might join. Thoughts?
I would politely tell those guests they might be more comfortable at another church.
My wife recently did that when a lady kept complaining about the way several things were being done, or not done to her liking. Of course, the lady proceeded to tell others that she had been asked to leave the church.
Sometimes ya just can’t win!
Ouch!
After being bitten by the general toxicity of people who want our church to change to meet their desires, the best thing I would say to them is to enjoy the place that meets their desires.
Agreed.
They should have remained at the “church down the road that they visited…” Coming over to your church meant that they were looking to see what they obviously complained about in the “church down the road that the visited.”
This is a good list. Yet, I don’t think you ever see all of these at the same time. Also, there are likely some people who feel this way and others who think everything is great and who don’t. However, asking for something like a vote every few years on something serious and a bit of pastoral care does not constitute a full on country club mentality. Many of these issues would not arise if the leaders in congregations actually asked ordinary people what was really going on.
Mark –
I am not clear on your points, especially the last sentence.
It describes an effort to prevent it from becoming a country club in the first place or stop it if it getting there.
I take Mark’s last sentence to mean the church leaders need to spend time out among the members and not get comfy or cliquey in their elder board, ministry team, staff huddle. That’s really easy for me as an elder to do and I pray God will give me a weekly kick in the pants to get up out of my seat and talk with folks. Learn people’s names, vocations, avocations. Show a sincere interest in how they’re doing by spending time.
I meant try to stop progression toward a country club mentality by finding out what is really going on.
You can’t please all of the people all of the time. The optimum that one can hope for is to keep as many people as possible happy enough so they will work as a moderately cohesive group and keep the church moving forward. The tide must flow forward, regardless of it’s speed.
It is not so much about keeping people happy as it is knowing what is going on and what the real problems are. I have seen too many places (churches, offices, etc) where Mt Olympus did not concern itself with mere mortals.
YES, Mark!