Many of my articles come from the perspective of pastors. That will not change in the future. I am an advocate of pastors and I desire God’s best for them. I have no plans to change my advocacy role.
As a change of pace, however, I recently asked a few hundred laypersons to write down what they desired of a pastor. Their responses were open-ended, and there was no limitation on the number of items they could list. Though my approach was not scientific, these laypersons did represent over sixty churches.
Here are their top ten responses in order of frequency. Since many of them gave one or more sentences as a response, I can provide a representative comment by each of the responses.
- Love of congregation. “If we know that our pastor loves us, everything else falls in place. If he doesn’t, nothing else matters.”
- Effective preaching. “I don’t have any expectation that my preacher be one of the best in the world, I just want to know that he has spent time in the Word each week to teach us effectively and consistently.”
- Strong character. “No pastor is perfect, but I do want a pastor whose character is above reproach on moral, family, and financial issues.”
- Good work ethic. “I don’t want either a workaholic pastor or a lazy pastor. Unfortunately, our last two pastors have been obviously lazy.”
- Casts a vision. “Our church has so much possibility; I want to hear what we will do to make a difference in our community and the world.”
- Demonstrates healthy leadership. “Most of the pastors in my church have demonstrated a good balance; they have been strong leaders but not dictators.”
- Joyous. “Our current pastor is a man of joy. His joy and enthusiasm are contagious. I love him for that!”
- Does not yield to critics. “I know that every pastor serving today has his critics. And I know it’s tough to deal with them. I just want these pastors to know that we supporters are in the majority. Please don’t let the minority critics dictate how you lead and serve.”
- Transparent. “Every pastor that I have had has been open and transparent about the church and the direction we are headed. It sure has made our church healthier.”
- Models evangelism. “Our pastor is passionate about sharing the gospel. His heart and attitude are contagious.”
What do you think about this list? What would you add from the perspective of either a pastor or a layperson?
Posted on January 14, 2013
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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181 Comments
Thinking about #3. Do you think it is a unspoken desire that most church members want married pastor, and with (well behaved) children too?
I would add to the list- Makes his family a priority. A pastor who makes his family a priority is setting an example for his church.
Having lived thru’ some “stuff at church”, I simply add this, the body’s perception of the above traits is huge. I bet we could all tell stories about misunderstandings/wrongs; before, during and after…seek to evidence Christlikeness.
That’s right everybody, just keep piling on the expectations :/
that’s what I felt too!
A few years ago, I’d have shared your feelings about this. I was going to reply to you here, but my response got too long, so I turned it into a blogpost on my site. You can read it at http://newsmallchurch.com/what-do-congregations-want/ if you’d like.
A patient man…not given to anger. Someone who would never say- “Get behind MY vision or you can’t be in ministry!”
Excellent list. While these are all qualities I think we as pastors should aspire to excellence in, I also believe, that in reality, there are no pastors who score a 9 or 10 in all these areas, nor should we expect it.
Perhaps we would do better if we took this approach…looking for these qualities to be represented strongly in a plurality of pastors/elders. If a church has a plurality of pastors/elders then the likelihood of all 10 of these qualities being represented well in the leadership of the church is exponentially increased.
We don’t need a “Superman” pastor, we need Jesus. Jesus on earth today, the Body of Christ, is just that…a BODY of believers ministering together and to one another.
There is a major fault here and that is believing that one man can have all of these traits and meet all the expectations of the congregation. Even many of comments up to this point seem to be from and idealistic expectation rather than the reality that Pastors are Christians first, called by God unto salvation and on the same journey as every other believer. We are then called by God to be pastors. The reality is that if a church wants to see these they need more than one man, but several men who lead as elders and who are recognized by the congregation as able to minister where the main teaching elder – pastor cannot. No man can carry this, not even a man empowered by the Spirit can meet all of this because God designed the church to have elders. This really speaks to the lack of understanding of church structure which propegates wrong expectations that one man can do all of this. I have found that is not the spoken expectations that people judge me by any way. It is the UNSPOKEN expectations which adds a whole other layer to this conversation. Why are elders given? Ephesians 4:11-12 “Equip the saints” period. I believe that if every church in America would throw out their Pastors job description and be bold enough to instruct the church and on what the elders role is it would revolutionize the church. It comes to four major points. PREPARE the saints. Preach the Word. Pray. and Protect. If a church would start with Prepare and tell their Pastor, Pastor we understand your role and ours. You are called hear to prepare US to do the work of the ministry. That is your ministry then the body might actually begin using their gifts to love the others who them pastor can never love or have a deep relationship with, serve, minister, etc. Yeah. I am passionate about this because I left a traditional structure where this was expected to a elder led structure and am relieved because the four men compliment each other. The way one shows love is different than another, but it meets the congregations needs, but we are always reminding the congregation that this is their role.
Thanks Brett. You nailed it.
Thanks for compiling this list. We recently moved away from a church we loved because the pastor had at least 3 of the above issues which he refused to even admit we’re an issue. Do you think that a pastor with 3 of the above to be someone who should reconsider their position as lead pastor?
I feel like I’m not adequate in 6 or 7 of them, should I be fired after 28 years as a lead pastor? I think it all depends on how you define “having an issue”
Paul, I appreciate your humility. I also appreciate the fact that you know where your weaknesses are.
“Who is adequate for such a task as this?” 2 Cor. 2:16
Maintains a healthy marriage and family life
Phil, how is your church helping your pastor to do this? Are they blessing him and his wife? Are they paying him generously so that he doesn’t have to worry about his needs so that he and his wife can spend more time focusing on the needs of others. Does the church give him plenty of vacation time, bless him with extra vacation money or even encourage him to take weekends off, offer to watch the kids so that they can get away?
What expectations are on his wife? Is she expected to be perfect always have a smile one her face, serve in every ministry in the church, have children that never cry or act up? Are there kids expected to be perfect Christians at church? If their children sin publicly are they humiliated by the church or even fired? Man there is so much more to this. I wish churches and well meaning Christians would really consider the whole picture as they express their wants from a pastor and family.
Amen!
You nailed it.Many s times members nerd from their pastor becomes numerous that pastor cannot satisfy everyone..
I want our pastor to be all of these, but to also motivate and guide, train and lead the congregation to be the ministers we are each called to be. I think there are times when the pastor does things when they instead should be allowing lay persons to do it. And I think there are too many times when the laity like to slack and say “Thats the Pastor’s job” when we are all called to ministry in one form or another.
What about asking pastors what they’d like to see in church members?
I think pastors are called to serve the sheep…sheep aren’t called to serve the pastor 🙂
In principle, I agree. Yet, what is not included in serving the sheep. I left a church where it was very clearly expected that you help families on moving day. Service? you bet! Does it match Acts 6, “…it would not be right for us to forsake the ministry of the Word and prayer…” ?
Brad… You nailed it brother! The way a pastor “serves the sheep” is through prayer and ministry of the Word. Unless I read it wrong, church members are to do the work of the ministry (Everything else). A shepherd leads and feeds. Personally, I think there’s a gap wider than the Grand Canyon between what church members expect/want from their Pastor and what God’s Word requires of Him. Until church members are on the same page with The Word, there will be stress and tension.
The greatest mistake Pastors have made is to serve by peoples expectations rather than their giftedness and serve how God tells us how his church needs serving rather than what man wants/expects. Pastors are not being paid to do the work but to equip others to do the work. Think of the contrast between this list and Scriptures. Scriptures states Prepare the saints, Preach the Word – instruct, rebuke, correct, Pray and Protect the sheep from wolves in sheep’s clothing. Beyond that pastors/elders are to exercise church discipline against continually sinning church members, This is how we are to serve and show love – Love of God first and loving others second. Pastors who cave in set the expectations for all those who follow in his footsteps and sets unbiblical precedence for the people.
Thanks, Ron!
I served at a church where our pastor helped people move. He also bought pizza for all the helpers. He found this a great way to meet people & extended family members. He never felt it was ‘Me against them’. Finest pastor I’ve ever known. His motto for shepherding is ‘Shepherds never hurt the sheep’, even when they bite. And believe me he had been bitten-HARD. But his experiences softened him & never stopped him from putting himself in places where the sheep would most likely hurt him. He is a rare breed. Bible colleges don’t turn out these kind of men.
May his tribe increase! Thanks for your thoughts, Liz. I would like to learn from such a man.
I do think also that the Pastor is called first to serve God than serve the sheep, I think that the bible reference this and when it becomes the other way around you run in to dictator Pastors. Serve and feed your flocks!
I agree, Pastors are called to serve the sheep of Jesus Christ. We do so primarily through leading and feeding the flock. But one thing I have learned in just a few short years of ministry, is that you function as though you serve the sheep rather than the Lord, you will find them to be merciless, brutal, fickle, and impossible to satisfy. So we serve the flock by doing the things that God calls us to do.
Great idea Ron. I’ll do a survey for a future blog. Thanks.
The surveyed blog points are very helpful today and the responses are wonderful. I have nothing to add except a big, “Amen!”
Lis,
you can see the sheep and pastor here but what I notice is several of the sheoherds were using scripture to support their comments.That should be the source.
what does the bible say a pastor should do
not what he thinks or what the congragation thinks but what does God think he should do.
There is a disconnect many times on what churches want in a pastor as far as what he does vs what God tells what a pastor is to do in his word. This started as early as Acts 6.in the church.
The scriptures states that a shepherd needs to be an example to his flock and not be domineering
Matthew 20:25-28
English Standard Version (ESV)
25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,[a] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,[b] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
1 Peter 5
English Standard Version (ESV)
Shepherd the Flock of God
5 So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: 2 shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight,[a] not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you;[b] not for shameful gain, but eagerly; 3 not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.