It happened on this blog. It was unexpected and revealing at the same time. Someone made a comment that, above all, he needed people praying for him. So I wrote in response, “I’m praying for you. I really mean it.” Then I paused. Why did I write “I really mean it”? Wasn’t my promise of prayer sufficient? Why did I have to add a child-like “cross my heart” promise? Unfortunately, I knew the answers to the questions even as I asked myself. I have sometimes lied when I promised someone I would pray for them. Please don’t judge me too harshly, though the breaking of the promise of prayer probably deserves such condemnation. It is not my intention to lie. It is not my intention to fail to pray for that person. I simply forget after I tell them. Again, that statement is an indictment in itself.
This confessional may seem totally strange to you. It is likely that you have not messed up in this area like I have. How does it happen? It’s not an excuse, but the situation usually works in this manner. Someone approaches me and asks for prayer. It might be right after I’ve spoken somewhere. So I tell them I will most certainly pray for them. But I don’t. I forget about their heartfelt request as soon as I start talking to the next person. On other occasions I will see someone I know. I pass them in a hallway or speak to them on the phone. I know that they are in a particular situation that needs intercessory prayer, so I make a promise: “I’ll be praying for you brother (or sister).” And, then again, I forget. I lie. I lie about something as sacred and holy as prayer.
As you can likely tell, I am convicted of this sin. I have asked God to forgive me and I have begun to make certain I don’t lie about intercessory prayer again. Here are seven steps I am taking:
- When someone requests my prayer, I will try to pray for him or her at that very moment. Perhaps their hearing of my prayer right after they ask will be an encouragement to them.
- I have begun praying that God will remind me about prayer requests. Sometimes I am too busy for my own good. God is never too busy for me.
- I will be honest with those who request prayer. I will not promise more than I will actually do.
- I will be more diligent in my own prayer time. I am convinced that one of the reasons I forget to pray for others is my lack of diligence in a focused daily quiet time.
- I will sometimes write down prayer requests. I use my iPhone for so many things. Why not record prayer requests? I have a reminder app, a notes app, and a voice memo app. And I finally decided to download a prayer notebook app. I have no excuse not to make note of requests.
- I will avoid being a Pharisee. Sometimes I really feel like I made promises of prayer because I wanted to be liked by the person making the request. That is sinful and Pharisaic. My prayers are not to please men and women, but to be obedient to God.
- Sometimes I will ask the person requesting prayer to send me an email. Recently I received a prayer request as I was leaving the room to catch a plane after a speaking engagement. In my hurry I feared that I would yet again forget. I let him know I was on my way out and asked him to email me. I apologized for my rush and thanked him for doing so.
I understand that this post may have little meaning to many of you. It’s very personal for me because of my own failures. I decided to write it for three reasons. First, I want to be bold enough to ask readers to pray for my own prayer life. Second, I sense a greater accountability by writing this blog. I can always anticipate a reader may ask how I’m doing in this struggle. Third, there may be a few of you who struggle like I do. Perhaps my words helped a bit.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for praying.
Posted on March 11, 2013
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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45 Comments
I set the alarm on my phone at the time of the persons birthday that requests prayer from me. It creates a bond between me and that person and I think it tells them that its happening.
Your first recommendation is fantastic:
“When someone requests my prayer, I will try to pray for him or her at that very moment. Perhaps their hearing of my prayer right after they ask will be an encouragement to them.”
That is precisely what I have found solves most of my lingering guilt about not praying for others. I am simply overwhelmed at the need I encounter in any given week of ministry. Taking even a moment to minister directly to someone’s need in prayer is often the most effective and powerful thing we can do.
Thank you!
Thank you for this article. The 29:59 Plan is a prayer resource that I have found very helpful. It is now available in a digital version as well. Learn more here: http://www.pray2959.com/
I think the first one is a practice that we need to return to — I love it when I know people are praying for me, but it’s an even greater blessing when someone prays for me WITH me.
Dr Rainer, Thank you so much for sharing. I do believe there are many of us that do this very same thing. And I believe that this will help us all remember to be more diligent. Thank you for leadership and may God continue to Bless you and the work He has called you to do.
Thank you so much for this! This is something I struggle with constantly! This was encouraging to read!
I think this happens more often than we think. Reading this certainly made me realize I am guilty of this at times. Thanks for your transparency and the reminder.
Thanks Becky.
You know Bro. Rainer….. You have touched on an issue that I believe is so very prevalant in todays churches adn Christianity as a whole. You were courageous and honest enough to share your own shortcomings and asked via this blog for help and accountability…. I belive that is the Christian thing to do. I too struggle with this and using the iphone, email or other “reminders” are only effective if the heart is willing to set aside the time. That is key, becuase we can fulfill our promise to “pray for one another” with a hurried and rushed “canned” prayer. Which is in no way effectual… Our churches would change and our society would change if at the moment of request we earnestly, honestly and openly proceeded to the throne of God in prayer… Lifes would be impacted and changed…..
Thank you Jason. I really appreciate your spirit.
Thanks Dr. Rainer. This blog serves as a reminder of how God taught me during my time as I served as a Hospice Chaplain. During my nine years of serving, God revealed to me the importance of following through with the prayer request from others. I’ve learned never to take for granite the moment of opportunity we have to intercede on someone else’s behalf. Thanks so much for posting!
Being on the ministry staff at church and heavily involved in so many areas of ministry this happens to me as well. Too many times, I’m afraid. Thank you for your transparency and humble words. They both convicted me as well as encouraged me. I have my iPhone on me at all time and I too use it for everything. I love the idea of using a prayer journal app – going to download ond right now. Thanks so much for the idea!
I felt the same conviction when I started working with international students. In our culture, so many things are simply polite to say–how are you? (Yet we keep walking–if we really wanted to know, we’d stop and listen.) The same goes for saying “I’ll pray for you.” I really felt convicted about doing that. I once heard that “prayer is the real work; everything else is the clean-up.” We should take it very seriously when we offer to pray for someone. Love this post–especially the action steps! Thanks for sharing and for being so honest! 🙂