They are the walking dead.
They are dead emotionally.
Their vision and passion is dead.
Their spiritual life has little life at all.
They are burned out.
Many have died vocationally. Others are waiting for burial.
Autopsies are not a pleasant topic. I get that. But I would be negligent if I did not share with you about the numbers of pastors who are dead in ministry. You need to know. You need to grasp this reality. You need to pray for them. You need to walk alongside them.
How did these pastors die? My figurative autopsies uncovered eight common patterns. Some pastors manifest four or five of them. Many manifest all of them.
- They said “yes” to too many members. In order to avoid conflict and criticism, these pastors tried to please most church members. Their path was not sustainable. Their path was unhealthy, leading to death.
- They said “no” to their families. For many of these pastors, their families became an afterthought or no thought at all. Many of their children are now grown and resent the church. They have pledged never to return. Their spouses felt betrayed, as if they were no longer loved, desired, or wanted. Some of these pastors have lost their families to divorce and estrangement.
- They got too busy to remain in the Word and in prayer. Simply stated, they got too busy for God. Read Acts 6:4 again in the context of all of Acts 6:1-7. The early church leaders saw this danger, and they took a courageous path to avoid the trap.
- They died a slow death from the steady drip of criticisms. Pastors are human. Yeah, I know; that’s an obvious statement. We sometimes expect them to take the ongoing criticisms from members as if they were rocks. But a steady drip can destroy even the most solid rocks.
- They were attacked by the cartel. Not all churches have cartels, but many do. A church cartel is an alliance of bullies, bully-followers, carnal Christians, and even non-Christians in the church. Their goal is power. Their obstacle is the pastor. Many pastors have died because cartels killed them.
- They lost their vision and their passion. This cause of death is both a symptom and a cause. Like high blood pressure is a symptom of other problems, it can also lead to death. Pastors without vision and passion are dying pastors.
- They sought to please others before God. People-pleasing pastors can fast become dying pastors. The problem is that you can never please all the members all the time. If pastors try, they die.
- They had no defenders in the church. Imagine a dying person with no medical intervention. That person will die. Imagine pastors without members who will stand by these leaders. Imagine pastors where members are too cowardly to stand up to cartels. If you can imagine that, then you can imagine a dying pastor. By the way, this form of death is often the most painful. The pastor is dying without anyone to help or intervene.
Autopsies are not fun. Talking about dying is not fun.
But if you are a church member, you can be a part of the solution.
Will you?
Posted on October 10, 2016
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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158 Comments
This happened to a Pastor who was/is very dear to my heart. He was and is truly touched by God. People came from other states to hear his sermons on Christmas and Easter. He grew a church from almost no members to over a thousand in a blink.
There was a ‘cartel’ of people who were very well off who thought they should build a huge, fancy church just 2-3 years after they spent a large amount of money building one of those metal ones.
He didn’t agree with spending the church funds in such a wasteful manner. He was completely destroyed by those people. He had a breakdown and had to go to some sort of clinic. Before that though, he went on a 6 month sabbatical and, from what I understand, spent the majority of that time at a retreat for pastors in his situation.
He ended up quitting the church and going to work for the local funeral home. There were those of us who stood behind him 100 and 50 %, but because the monetary contributions made by the wealthy people were far higher than our puny little bit, they got their way. Now they have a huge church and the most wonderful man of God I ever knew has fallen victim to their greed and need to show off.
I haven’t been back to church since. I do attend church online, however. It keeps me from dealing with all the other stuff.
Thom, thanks for being a clear voice not only to pastors, but also for pastors. I am grateful God restores the years the “locusts” destroyed.
Pastors like you, Mark, are an inspiration to me. I hope you are well.
Pastoring is not for quitters although I almost did 15 years ago. I took a church (my first) and last) 16 years ago. It is a small church, when I came there were around 12 people there. God had put a heavy burden on my heart for the church. A couple of the ladies attacked my wife first off (satan always goes for the most vunerable spot first). After a year the church had growed some but a family decided I needed to go and frankly I wanted to go. They were going to bring it up in a business meeting. Friday night before the meeting I went to hear Dr. Zeno Groce preach. I had never met him till that night so he did not know what I was going thru. I don’t remember his scripture that night but I do remember that by the time he finished preaching the Holy Spirit had convinced me I was a quitter and a coward. I asked a preacher there to pray for me. I said I am fixing to get out of God’s will. He said “been there done that” and before I knew it I was surrounded by Men of God who knew what My wife and I were going thru. I got up with a new determination in my heart that I was going to stay till God said go..The first six years were the hardest years but God started moving some out and others in. To make a long story short, today we are not a big church in number, we have around 55 people of all ages. But The Lord has allowed us to do a great work of helping to support 32 missions. We have purchased 10 acres of land to build a childrens home. The Church takes good care of my wife and I allowing me to spend a lot of time in the prisons and public high school.. We still have our problems today (we are Baptist LOL) but nothing that cain’t be worked out. I want all the Men of God out there that are going thru things to know I am praying for you..If you can, don’t give up and God will sort it all out. Our Church’s are dying for Good Pastors.. Thanks Brother Thom for a great article.
Thank you for your faithfulness, Phillip.
And please, women of God who face not only those problems outlined but some unique ones because we are women.
Thank you, Thom. I am a survivor of pastoral near-death. I will always bear the scars of a bully who tried to build a cartel and of church leadership that ran away and in practice refused to defend me when I needed it most. Henri Nouwen’s Return of the Prodigal Son, and Pete Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Church and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality were my life support and gifts for my healing. I am still in the same congregation, 28 years now (and the attacks were 10 years ago) and they too are healthier, stronger and thriving. PTL!
I love hearing stories of hope like yours, Ray.
WOW Thom! What a post! Cartel huh? Vivid yet monstrous portrait!
My wife, children, and I have all been victims of the Cartel Heart-Set. I call it a “heart-set” because mindset does not describe it’s source.
One of the churches in which I’ve served as pastor has been led by a Cartel of wounded hearts wounding others, beginning with their pastor’s family, their pastor, and any who support him.
Yet it has not become, as St. John of the Cross described, a “desolation” for us. It has been more “consolation” than anything for it has led us to intimate prayer and deeper friendship with God.
For you who are going through it now I say this, let the pain lead you to choose Christ more and more! See Him coming to you in that pain. Let Him allow you to share in His sufferings, as He longs for deeper partnership together with you.
Well said, John Mark.
Six years ago TODAY I resigned as the senior pastor of a “First Baptist” Church that displayed most of the dysfunction of which Dr. Rainer speaks. While my path isn’t for everyone, it might just be for those of you who’ve commented prior and are on the verge of quitting.
I had the privilege of starting a new work with biblical leadership (plurality of elders), biblical theology, missional community involvement, and accountable (covenant, annual) membership. We now average well over 200 in attendance.
I’m confident that there is a remnant in EVERY community that longs for a healthy community of Christ-exalting believers. Birth it right where you are!
Please let me know how I can be a resource to you. I’ve been right where you are and have come out on the other side victorious! We’re all in this together.
Thanks, Tony.
Ouch! This one hurt…Because it reached home. Thanks for the analysis. Six years ago our church fell apart. I survived, and am still here, but each of these points are clearly visible.
I would add another point: #9. Attacks from the brethren.
Fellow pastors, who once embraced you, treat you like the plague when your church plummets and no longer has “the numbers.” The phone calls cease. Some of the pastors critique your ministry and gossip about what you did wrong. Other churches members stop by your office and exhort you to quit putting your Sunday bulletin on your website, because their pastor reads your attendance from his pulpit and laughs about how far it has fallen. Only a couple of them reached out at the lowest ebb of my ministry. I thank God for them.
Thankfully, for me, I did find another solid group of pastors who offered prayer, friendship and encouragement. I thank the Lord for our crossing paths. Because of God using them in my life, I am beginning to be renewed. The vision is coming back, and the hope is reviving in the ministry again.
Thank you again for the article. It encouraged and helped me.
Servants like you deserve our support, Marty.
AMEN
WOW!
Thom, I know you’ve talked about bullies in the past, but based on some of the comments I’ve seen here, maybe a deeper dive into cartels could be put on your future posting list.
This book really helped me objectify what happened to my wife and me and therefore not take it so personally.
Antagonists in the Church: How To Identify and Deal With Destructive Conflict
by Kenneth C. Haugk
There are several other books as well but I found this one to be the most helpful.
Read that one when I was in seminary and many times since. It’s a must-read for every pastor!
It’s coming in November, Lyn. Thanks.
Thankfully, God specializes in resurrection.s
EXACTLY!
Absolutely. More on that in a November post.
Very well put!!!
My father and mother became victims of this…I now pastor and feel some of what they felt. My one brother is also a victim…so sad!
Thanks for this, Thom! Hope it helps many!
My prayers for you and your family, Dale.
Some good points and a reminder of how laymen of the church need to “come along side” our pastors and help head off some of these conditions.
To build on that, one condition that I have seen that you did not mention is that of a pastor that nears retirement begin to “coast”. The congregation has made their pastor very comfortable, all is well, and the pastor just loses the fire, the vision, the energy, but becomes a proponent of status quo. Ok with change if someone else wants to do it.
Again, we as lay leaders are partly responsible for this and we need to do a better job of keeping our pastor engaged and energized; and to be willing to have honest dialogue.
Thanks
Tom C
Tom –
May your tribe increase! I thank God for wise lay leaders like you.