By Thom S. Rainer
In any organization of size, there are likely angry people.
They are unhappy with the organization. They don’t like change. They don’t like the leader.
But here’s the catch: In most organizations, they are a distinct minority. I use the quantifier of ten percent more anecdotally than not, but I would conjecture most organizations, including churches, would have a number close to that.
In churches, I see pastors, again and again, yield to the pressures and criticisms of the ten percent. I get it. I’ve been there and done that. May I suggest some perspectives on this issue? Perspectives are not solutions, but they can help us persevere when the ten percent get really loud.
- Ten percent can seem like a lot of people. Indeed, if your church has 200 active members, 20 loud critics can seem really loud. Brad Waggoner calls it “the power of negativity.” He says the negative person has a tenfold voice in the organization compared to the neutral and positive people.
- Realize that the ten percent will take advantage of any forum you give them. They love to speak up in business meetings. They love to be the big voice in listening sessions and surveys. In fact, listening sessions can make the rest of the organization demoralized as the more positive members think the negative people are the norm.
- The ten percent want you to think there are more of them. They will use phrases like, “Everyone says . . .” or “People are saying . . .” They not only can be negative; they can be downright deceitful.
- While you want to have open communications, the ten percent will often dominate the rest of the voices in the church. Such is the reason you need to be careful about giving them the platforms and opportunities to spread their negativity.
- The ten percent love social media. They are often the most vicious when they are hiding behind a keyboard. If you wonder why you are getting sick of social media, it’s because the ten percent live there. They love the megaphone that makes their voices seem louder than they really are.
- The ten percent often are on church rotations. If they can’t get their way, they will move to another church where they can spread their negativity. Be cautious of people who want to transfer to your church if they have nothing but negative things to say about their current church.
- The ten percent often lead church splits. They will be happy at their new place . . . until they don’t get their way completely. They will then be ready to spread their negativity at the new congregation. Such is the reason so few church splits do well.
This overview is just one of many perspectives rather than solutions. If you feel like most people are against you in your church, you are likely wrong. It’s probably the ten percent. But they do have the loudest voices in your congregation.
Posted on January 13, 2020
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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66 Comments
Be careful that the people branded angry aren’t just the people telling you something that you don’t want to hear. There are angry people out there who do cause lots of problems. There are also people who are branded heretics for just asking a question or making a comment.
I cannot agree more. “Church unity” is sometimes used as a bludgeon to silence the minority who speak up. And sometimes there are legitimate concerns that need to be addressed.
The 10% dominate 100% of the committees.
You are on target. I have noticied that more and more in both secular and spiriutal settings it is not “majority rule” but “miniorty rule.”
It depends on how much of a majority you have. If you don’t need the minority, then you can steam roll them. If you need them, then you have to give them something.
Brother, I would have to differ on both sides of this approach. Not a pastor’s job to steam roll anyone, and certainly not biblical to compromise by giving in to an unbiblical minority. Just my humble opinion.
You have many issues that cause rifts that aren’t even related to the Bible. Padded pews, carpet color, and worship time come to mind.
It has been my experience through 40 years of ministry that almost NONE are related to Biblical issues. Almost all of them are preference issues only!
I believe it!
In my experience I’ve seen churches demoralized, disrupted, denigrated, (and many more “D” words) where even just 5% are the naysayers. I recently helped a church boldly walk through a direct challenge to the naysayer issues, leading the way with Vision. “As leaders we are united in believing God is calling us to _________________, and here is the evidence and clarity of God’s leading . . .”
Several left the church, a few others saw the error of their ways in the compelling evidence, and the church was able to move forward with their expansion project, which enabled a new level of ministry in their community.
What an amazing and encouraging story. Thanks for sharing.
Thom,
I am president of two association boards and member of a total of five associations. I also am a member and Bible Fellowship Leader at my church. Thank you for your perspective on this issue. So much of what you teach here is applicable, not only in church, but also in the workplace. I am grateful.
My 10% made sure that a majority of them were on the church board at any given time. Most of the congregation knew who and what the 10% were, but the congregation had been under their collective thumb so long, and there had been so many pastors that had come and gone, over the years, and long periods without an installed pastor, that it was easier for them to let me be on the receiving end of the negativity than for them publicly to stand up with me. That was my disastrous pastorate: still hurts, but I learned a lot, and that might be part of what God had in mind. For those who feel called to persevere in that situation, I guess you’ve prayerfully got to cultivate your 20%, grow a very thick skin, and seek the counsel and support and prayer of your colleagues in ministry in your area.
Well said, Paul.
I think we let them dominate because they tend to frame the issues in their terms. The best approach is to stand our ground on scripture and challenge them to validate their view from the whole of the Bible, not a select verse or two. Usually a bully will back down if they are challenged. We need to do this with respect but that does not mean we are to be a target.
What others ways are there to handle these people?
One Superintendent advised me that if 20% of the members were with me, plow on with them. When my lay leaders start hearing the negativity and get discouraged about pressing on, I look them in the eye and say,” I don’t care.” We will listen to the Lord and do what we believe He’s called us to do. Folks are entitled to their opinion, but Jesus is Lord and the word is our guidebook.
I serve at a church where the angry ten percent is thriving while the rest are withering and/or moving on. Those who come to church for a battle over everything get appeased, and those who come to worship in spirit and truth are finding somewhere else to do it.
It is heartbreaking to watch.
Praying for you, Reggie.
We have a process for handling negative people.
They are brought before our council and in some cases human resources and asked to explain their behavior.
They are told what impact their negativity is having
on the rest of the congregation and that their negativity will not be tolerated. If there is no change,
we ask them to leave.
Confronting negativity is not pleasant but it is definitely
necessary.
good for you all! God bless you and thank you for standing up with courage!
This sounds like a Matthew 18 process. Very Biblical and spot on.
Would you agree that a strong leadership base would help deter this 10% ?
It will deter some if the leadership pays attention to what is going on around them and does not wait for a blow-up.
100% on point. Prayers for all who are pushing forward under the cloud of negativity. The strength of God be with you as you lead despite the anger.
I too pray with you, Kimani.
Been there….
Your perspective is identical to mine.
Thanks for confirming common sense.
Thanks, Ted.
I hear ya, but our 10 percenters drove off so many people that now the 10 percent is closer to 50 percent. Four years. Now, putting out my resume. Sometimes the 10 percent end up winning.
I am so sorry, JS.
One of the better books I’ve read on this subject is “Leading Your Church Through Conflict and Resolution”, edited by Marshall Shelley. It has a great chapter called “Wars You Can’t Win”. The writer makes two great points: (1) Some church wars simply cannot be won, and (2) if you find yourself in the middle of an unwinnable war, it’s no disgrace for you to face that fact and move on.
Been there
Haters, cowards, bullies. . . love social media.
Had one “sniper” get on social media using a woman’s name. It was all too obvious who it was.
When one of our members asked him why he masked himself behind a woman’s name, he said, “Well, it is because of the way the do business down there.”
What he should have said is, “I am a coward, trouble-maker, and bully. A quick check on some people who knew him when he was younger indicated he had been a bully all his life.
But, he eventually spread his hate, along with some others who came from the same church, getting a few of his kind to join him in his takeover adventure who were already there, and did, in fact, split the church.
Odd thing. When they all left, they did not go together. They went to several different churches in town. They came in a group from one church they had split.
I am not sure how to explain that one.
They had a few meetings after they left, but apparently the haters could not hold them together.
As a pastor, I was once where you are now. I did end up leaving. Since that time I learned the critical mistake I made. After being at a small church (110 people when I first arrived), the church nearly doubled in size in my first two years. During this same time the “10%” (my percentage was probably 5%) got louder and louder. My mistake was not getting the elder board, on board, and for me to say as pastor, “Look at our church growth. Are we, as an elder board, going to allow this small and divisive group to continue to sow negativity? I teach pastoral students today at a university. I teach them that “silence is permission”.