I read the sad story recently of a church that fired its pastor because “he didn’t visit the members enough.” Granted, I don’t know all the details about the situation, but I am not optimistic about the church’s future.
“Visitation of the members” became a common job description of pastors about a century ago.
It’s a bad sign.
While I am not advocating that pastors never visit people, I am concerned that such expectations are well beyond those with serious and emergency needs.
The truth is: Your pastor shouldn’t visit much. Here are 15 reasons why.
- It’s unbiblical. Ephesians 4:12 says that pastors are to train the saints or believers to do the work of the ministry. It does not say pastors are to do all the work of ministry.
- It deprives members of their roles and opportunities. The second part of Ephesians 4:12 clearly informs us that ministry is for all those in the church. When the pastor does all or most of the ministry, the members are deprived of a God-given opportunity.
- It fosters a country club mentality. “We pay the pastor’s salary. The pastor works for us to do the work and serve us.” Tithes and offerings become country club dues to get served.
- It turns a church inwardly. The members are asking what the pastor is doing for them, rather than asking how they can serve others through the church.
- It takes away from sermon preparation. Those same members who complain that a pastor didn’t put enough time into the sermon are the same ones who expect the pastor to visit them.
- It takes away from the pastor’s outward focus. If pastors spend all or most of their time visiting, how can they be expected to get into the community and share the gospel?
- It takes away vital leadership from the pastor. How can we expect pastors to lead if we give them no time to lead since they are visiting members?
- It fosters unhealthy comparisons among the members. “The pastor visited the Smiths twice this month, but he only visited me once.”
- It is never enough. When churches expect their pastors to do most of the visitation, they have an entitlement mentality. Such a mentality can never be satisfied.
- It leads to pastoral burnout. It is impossible for pastors to maintain the pace that is expected of all the members cumulatively, especially in the area of visitation.
- It leads to high pastoral turnover. Burnout leads to pastoral turnover. Short-term pastorates are not healthy for churches.
- It puts a lid on Great Commission growth of the church. One of the great growth barriers of churches is the expectation that one person do most of the ministry, especially visitation. Such dependence on one person leads to a cap on growth.
- It leads pastors to get their affirmation from the wrong source. They become people-pleasers instead of God-pleasers.
- It causes biblical church members to leave. Many of the best church members will leave because they know the church is not supposed to operate in this manner. The church thus becomes weaker.
- It is a sign that the church is dying. The two most common comments of a dying church: “We never done it that way before,” and “Why didn’t the pastor visit me?”
The pervasive mentality in many churches is the pastor is the chief visitor in the church.
It’s a key sign of sickness.
It’s a clear step toward death.
Let me hear from you.
Posted on August 31, 2016
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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437 Comments
Good read…it is flat out TOUGH to balance it all….I think the church culture has a big impact as well…if previous guys have made many visits and you don’t…how do you think that’s going to make you look? Many will say you’re lazy or don’t care….I get the “God pleasing” vs. People pleasing…and dang gone it, its a good point but hard to see that if you feel your job is threatened. I enjoy visiting and on the flip side when I’ve been in the hospital it means a lot when anyone has come to check in on me or my kid(s). I’ve heard comments from younger guys using this argument and I think its because they’re lazy and uncomfortable with it…I guess visit while you can, if you can build up a team of visitors, that’s always great to.
You are right, Kyle. It is tough and requires biblical courage.
Hmmm…i dont know?
One verse and a part (vs 11) “…and some, pastors and teachers; (vs 12) For the perfecting of the saints for the work of the ministry for the edifying of the body of Christ:
(Commas omited).
This to support 15 reasons NOT to be out as much as possible among your own group of people that God Himself has placed with or “under” you to lead? By “as much as possible i mean other than in study/learning under God and spending valuable time with family. Yes, i do know the ins and outs of God directing Moses to delegate responsibilities. Still…sorry, i just dont know about that.
Hmmm . . . What is your textual support otherwise, Rick? Can we add Acts 6:1-7 to the biblical support?
Yes, as well as John 21:17 where Jesus looks Peter square in the eye and says “feed (tend, sheperd) my sheep”. Im not real smart but it seems the ripple effect works…in ministry as well for reaching the lost. From a lay person perspective the current ministry problem is not being too busy but being too busy with the wrong stuff. A giant fear of “inwardness” is thrown around while ive personally heard church folks, in all sorts of different ways, begging leadership to help teach them how to learn/read scripture. Folks honestly feel inadeaquate and lost as far as Gods word goes while we are OUT being busy “doing ministry” in a hundred different directions. I cant imagine a shepherd taking his sheep to the gate (of salvation) opening it and saying go wander around, eat and good luck. Ill be back next week…gotta go get more sheep. Hopefully that doesnt sound harsh. Just a burden ive felt for several years. Thx
But wasn’t that precisely Dr. Rainer’s point? If a pastor spends all of this time visiting, he won’t have time to do real shepherding.
This is a straw man, correct. Rick never suggested that a pastor spend all his time visiting.
Missed a question mark: “correct?” I meant to say.
Thankfully, I read Simple Church about 10 years ago to confirm the belief to which I was coming. One result is that our current church has more than doubled, leaders have been developed. The most exciting thing is we have seen 10% growth for three years by salvation. I did not have time for this 30 years ago. This is one of the first things I share with interns and when discipling leaders.
I love hearing that, John! Thank you.
Much? How much is much?
The heart of this discussion is a failure of understanding the great commission. We have been commissioned to make disciples. Disciples are disciple makers. The class room is the poorest location to make disciples. We best fulfill the commission by taking them with us and then, they and us take others, etc., etc., etc. Ephesians 4:12 and the great commission are seldom fulfilled well any other way.
Perhaps a better discussion is: are we teaching people to depend on God or us? Same issue…different approach. Also, what kind of visits?
One pastor of a mega-church tells how he usually only made hospital/member-care visits in dire situations as the deacons and small groups were trained and held accountable to do these.
When one of the first disciples this pastor made, and now a key leader, was in the hospital for minor surgery the patient was sure he was dying because he awoke to see his pastor at his bedside.
A great story of one doing the right kind of job making disciples.
Thanks, JW.
I agree with this article , I am a pastor of three churches 2 of them are one hour away . I call and text church members , to see how they are doing . I visit only those who are sick or going through something . My elders do visit , I meet with my elders once a month , My spiritual life is better because I am spending more time in prayer and studying the bible than before and I spend time with my family . about a year ago I was looking at the family pictures and realized that I was missing from a lot of the events that were important for my children , and I was studying the bible only for sermon preparation not for my spiritual life ! I am thankful for this article ,it confirms something that I am doing and don’t have to feel guilty for doing it . Thanks !
You are so right, Fredy. The digital world definitely can supplement our in-person ministry.
I don’t know how relevant it is, as my husband is the pastor of a small urban church, but I can’t imagine the strain it would put on our family if he were to try to visit the members of the church regularly. We try to have the members in our home on a very regular basis though – this enables us to 1. avoid the time constraints of travelling to and from, allowing my husband to be more productive and 2. Control the environment, tone, length, and purpose of the meeting/visit.
We are also very thankful that the Lord is truly building an “everymember ministry” mentality, so that we hear stories of members ministering to one another in the week with visits and calls. This frees my husband to do all that you mention in the article.
Thank you, Dr. Rainer, for your ministry. We in central London have benefited greatly from it.
Thank you so much, Sydney!
It makes me think of a mega church. For smaller churches, I think visiting is a major way to understand and know who makes up the church and who needs to feel that leaders know them. Visiting/personal contact is a challenge for members- not just the pastor/staff/deacons.One comment/response was offered that I do like… invite you pastor to your home. Mine likes left over barbeque sandwiches!!! Emergencies are not always times when a pastor is needed. It is human nature to want/need interaction and what a wonderful way to share/discuss God’s plan for all of us! Have I said too much…. probably. It’s just my initial reaction to the article…. check back later…. I may change my mind on some of it smile emoticon:-) Have a blessed day… and if you see a minister, take time to encourage him.
Thanks, Louise, but I just don’t think the Bible intended for its truths to be applied only to certain size churches.
I found the “care” and the “connection” much easier in a larger congregation…it’s the smaller ones where I have felt the most isolated.
How do you get this across in a church without causing an uproar?
There are a lot of good comments that can help, John.
I wrote the following for a newsletter back in 2014:
“House Calls
“I have a short, multiple choice quiz I’d like you to take this month. It won’t take long… just four questions; mark all that apply:
1. You wake up one morning feeling ill. Your body aches all over, you have a fever, and you just really feel rotten for no good reason. You know you should see a doctor, so what do you do? Do you:
a. Call your doctor’s office to ask for a same-day appointment?
b. Go to the emergency room or a walk-in clinic to be examined by a physician?
c. Hope that the doctor will call you or drop by to visit you?
d. Tell all your friends how upset you are with your doctor for not calling you?
“2. You get in your car one morning and find that it won’t start. Do you:
a. Call the Auto Club and ask for a service call?
b. Ask a neighbor to jump start your car so you can drive it to your mechanic?
c. Hope that your mechanic will call you or drop by to see how your car is doing?
d. Tell all your friends how upset you are with your mechanic for not calling you?
3. You finish dinner one evening and are rinsing the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher. You flip the switch for the garbage disposal and, as the water in the sink gets deeper and deeper, you discover that you have a clogged drain. Do you:
a. Call a plumber?
b. Break out your handy plunger and attempt to clear the clog yourself?
c. Hope that your plumber will call you so see if everything is alright?
d. Tell all your friends how upset you are with your plumber for not calling you?
“4. You are troubled by a spiritual matter or your family is going through a difficult situation and you want to talk to your pastor. Do you:
a. Call your pastor and ask him to come for a visit?
b. Call your pastor and ask for an appointment to see him in his office?
c. Hope that your pastor will call you or drop by to see how you’re doing?
d. Tell others how upset you are with your pastor for not visiting you?
“How did you do? I’m sure you answered “a” or “b” to questions 1 – 3. It would be unrealistic to expect the members of any profession to call you at just the right time to see if you need their services. Even back in the Dark Ages when doctors made house calls, they didn’t call you first to see if you needed them.
“And I hope you checked “a” or “b” to question 4 as well. If you are experiencing a difficult time spiritually or emotionally and you just don’t know where to turn, I certainly hope you would call me rather than hope for a chance visit. Sadly, “c” and “d” seem to be the answers. It seems that some folks would really like to see their pastor, but they won’t pick up the phone.
“Please know that I never want to intrude on your time, but I will gladly come and see you or meet you somewhere whenever you want… but first I need to know if you want to see me. You can call the church office (XXX-XXXX) and leave a message or voicemail; you may call me directly (XXX-XXXX) or send me an email ([email protected]), or just check “Please have the pastor call me” on your Connection Card and I will get in touch with you.”
I would love to tell you that the results were remarkable, but they weren’t. In the two years since this letter, maybe three people have let me know they wanted a call or a visit. Others – the elderly – continue to complain to the elders when they haven’t seen me at their home.
Great article! I am sad it was ignored.
Some people only want to be “visited” on their terms, and will raise the roof, if they aren’t.
Excellent thoughts, as always, Dr Rainer.
In a number of cases like the church you referenced, there a lacking in the senior pastor being directly involved in teaching lay leaders within the church how to visit and how to anticipate when visits are needed. What I’m seeing in pastors of my own generation (mid-late 40s) is that pastors have been excellently trained in expository preaching but poorly training in person to person discipleship and counseling. As a result, these men tend to exclusively mentor younger men who are desiring to become preachers in their own right.
Well said, Jonathan.
13 And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening. 14 And when Moses’ father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even? 15 And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of God: 16 When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws. 17 And Moses’ father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good. 18 Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. 19 Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God: 20 And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. 21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens: 22 And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee. 23 If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace. 24 So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said. 25 And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. 26 And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves. 27 And Moses let his father in law depart; and he went his way into his own land.
The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ex 18:13–27). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
I used this passage as a basis for a ss lesson recently. I called it “You can’t do it all alone” and talked about even from the very beginning the children of Israel were to not to depend on one man for everything. We then looked at how v21 sounds much like acts 6. We then looked at several of pauls letters concerning what he said about those who labor in the word and doctrine versus those who go house to house in idle talk (and think, thats what people want today… a preacher who just stops by all day every day to chit chat).
One of the best books I’ve ever read was “Letters from Spartanburg” by A.W. Pink (Im aware not all will agree with his theology but the books is excellent… it is the personal letters he wrote to his best friend over a 3 year span). About a century ago he pastored about an hour from where Im a yp in SC. The people thought he didn’t visit enough (never mind he was faithfully teaching them the word as well as writing literature that would still be read 100 years later). He ended up leaving the place.
A couple of months ago I located the now vacant lot and took my wife and small kids there. When I found it I circled around and pulled in the lot. I parked the car and broke down crying and told them “heres where a man preached his heart out to a group of people that didn’t want him.” I wonder if they ever thought later “that was the dumbest thing our church has ever done.”
During that trying time he told his friend in the Letters “the crowd is small but I prepare as if I am preaching to 5,000 people every week.” Within a year from being dismissed he ended preaching to an avg crowd of 500-1000 (design on weeknight/weekend) for a period of many months in a revival in CA.
This issue is near to my heart. I posted a few months ago (anonymously) on this site about what my avg week is made of. I fear that one day the people I really do love (who don’t understand me or wouldnt understand the point of the article) will result in…. (I better stop).
Thank you SO MUCH for this article.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing from the heart, Tony.
I love that passage!
For me, I find that people call the plumber, call the electrician, call their doctor, but the pastor is simply supposed to “know”. I don’t mind visiting people, but I ask them to call. People also have different unwritten expectations. I think about this in terms of size transitions as well. Do we want to be a church that is small enough that the pastor knows everyone’s business and has time to visit a lot in homes? It’s not easy for the church. It’s not easy for the pastor. (Big sigh.)
True.