“A family from your church wants to join our church.”
The pastor who called me was genuine in his request. We don’t have many people transferring into our church from other churches. And we don’t have many people transferring out either. In this instance, the reasons were noble for leaving our church and going to another church. I’m glad we had a conversation about it.
Transfer growth occurs when a church member moves his or her membership to another church.
It’s also the case that a few churches seek transfer growth as a strategy—never explicitly stated, of course, but completely obvious. Typically, this unstated strategy is expressed in a benign but pretentious phrase like, We’re the best. Why would you go anywhere else? In today’s consumeristic society, I’m not surprised some churches would use this tactic. However, my missiology leads me to believe that “meet them where they are” refers to unbelievers, not other church members.
There are plenty of bad reasons to transfer to another church. Reasons like “They’re the best.” Or “They have the program I like.” Or “They play music I like.” Or “They have coffee every Sunday morning.” Far too many churches have low standards of membership, and transfer growth tends to bloom like algae in these environments. I don’t want to sound too harsh, but it feels slimy when people jump into churches for those reasons.
But not all transfer growth is bad. Not every person is a church hopper, looking for the next best thing. In fact, there are good reasons to transfer to another church, even one right down the road. I’ll give five good reasons you should accept transfer growth.
- Geography. In today’s transient culture, transfer growth is an inevitable reality. Most churches will experience some transfer growth. When you move to another city, you should transfer membership to another church. Additionally, churches should reach out to believers who are new to the area.
- Theology. When a church makes wholesale changes to doctrine, then it’s time to consider a move to another church. If you believe something completely different than what your church believes, it’s better for you to find a church closer to your beliefs. When people come to your church because of doctrine, then you should consider receiving them.
- Family. It’s best for families to worship and make disciples together. When two families blend together, they should attend the same church. When parents move back in with children in their last season of life, decisions must be made about what church to join. Family reasons are good reasons to transfer.
- Abandonment. This reason is tragic, but cases of abandonment occur. I know of occurrences where one group in a church pushed out another group unjustly. The abandoned group must find another church. You’re not wrong to receive this group at your church.
- Life stage. This reason is broad, but a life stage change could be a legitimate reason to transfer churches. Sometimes you get to an age where you can’t drive as far and you must find another church closer to your residence. You might adopt a special needs child that could require a completely different schedule and necessitate a transfer.
Several good reasons exist to move your membership to another church. Not all transfer growth is bad.
Posted on March 4, 2020
As President of Church Answers, Sam Rainer wears many hats. From podcast co-host to full-time Pastor at West Bradenton Baptist Church, Sam’s heart for ministry and revitalization are evident in all he does.
More from Sam
23 Comments
One time a couple in a church I was pastoring came and told me they were leaving because they were at odds with another family and did not want to create strife. I told them about the passage of scripture where Jesus said that if you are bringing your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has a problem with your relationship to go and make amends before you offer your sacrifice. They said, “O.K.” they would think about it. They thought about it for about a week and came back and said, “Well, we are still going to leave. We just aren’t getting anything out of your preaching. I said, “Well, I can’t do much about that. I wish you well in your search for a new church.”
I was concerned when I read the title of this article, but after reading it, I am very much in agreement with it. Of course there may be some realistic exceptions to some of the concepts as mentioned by Linda and her grandchild with sensitive ears.
Reality, however cannot be ignored. Consumerism seems to be the guiding principle for many in churches today. If I don’t like this, or I don’t like that, or a decision was made that I don’t agree with that becomes the reason for justifying the movement of membership.
When you join a church, you become a part of a family. When we have disagreements in a family, we don’t walk out the door never to return, we work them out and keep loving each other. We all can’t have our way at the same time.
When it comes to doctrine or practice, those things need to be examined before joining. There should be no “surprises” down the road. If you don’t agree with the doctrine or the practices of a church, don’t join with the intent to change them from the inside. If you are a member of a church that changes their doctrine or practices after you join and you believe you have a Biblical basis for objecting, then that is a good reason for leaving.
I have pastored churches and know that when I had a person/family come to join, if they were coming from another church, we accepted them but did not go seeking them. I would ask them “What brought you to our church?” If the answer fell into the categories of “not good reasons” I prepared myself for the possibility that they might leave our church for “not good reasons.”
I was also elected moderator of the town’s ministerial alliance. It was a small town. Upon being elected I strongly encouraged my fellow pastors to not be engaged in “sheep swapping.” I explained that I meant actively going after members of other churches. There are enough lost people out there without a shepherd to go around!
I struggle with #4. Not because I disagree, but because I have heard this excuse used to leave a church way too many times. I’m afraid that some may read that and feel validated in their behavior. If leaders aren’t doing what a certain groups wants, this becomes the default excuse so they can play the victim card. I wish there were a way to affirm #4 with an asterisk. We’ve had probably 40 people leave our church because “they were pushed out”. Which was false, but that validated their behavior.
As someone who is still struggling to find a home church, or in fact any church where I can feel comfortable or at least unthreatened (because of my history with judgemental church people), that was a pretty hurtful read. Now I have to add “is the pastor silently judging me and my intentions” to the barriers I have to overcome just to be able to keep trying – let alone join in with the life of a church if I do find somewhere. I’m not sure if that really contributed to even the idea of healthy church, let alone togetherness 🙁
If you’re getting snotty about people wanting to come to your church, and calling their reasons slimy, perhaps you’re a bit too focused on *your* church and not enough on the one who is the reason people gather in church in the first place?
Ultimately, WHERE someone comes from should be irrelevant. This kind of conversation usually results from a general disapproval of ‘those’ people who simply aren’t mature enough, or are too self-centered, or who have ‘itching ears’.
Hello! They are imperfect folks who have baggage—-just like everyone else. Some bags just look different than yours or mine. Much like the Mark of the Late Arriver, the Mark of the Disloyal Church Hopper is another area where we pre-judge, sentence and suspect folks.
When? I ask, WHEN? do we live as Jesus would have us live? You know, living in a way so that we are known by our LOVE?
It’s one thing to discuss church problems and issues, but of late, the discourse is one of the sage few tsk, tsking about their ‘problem people’. Those folks ‘out there’ in the world are problem people. The folks who seek to follow Jesus are problem people who are ‘working out their salvation’ and growing to maturity in Him, all the while still being problem people themselves, along the way.
This kind of topic has pride, arrogance, judgement and legalism writ large. I doubt the Master is pleased. Brothers, ‘this ought not so to be’ with you.
Mac C,
You summed up my thoughts exactly. Who are we to decide if someone is welcome in God’s Church? I see so many churches today being run like a big corporation. It’s God’s Church and we need to keep that in mind.
I am always puzzled by why music is not considered a valid reason to change churches. Let me explain a bit: years ago we had a grandchild with perfect or near perfect pitch and very sensitive ears. The music at “our” church was excessively loud. This little one would literally hide under the pews, hands over ears. We had to find a quieter church.
I’ve known of churches making the pitch that we have to do contemporary because lovers of that genre will not attend a hymn singing church. No intimation that they were sinning in that thought, but plenty of accusations when the hymn lovers would leave for a hymn singing church.
The music is a vital part of worship, be it liturgical, chant, hymns, gospel songs, southern gospel, rock, or praise and worship. Each of us does have personal preferences and sometimes quite strong ones. Why is it wrong to find a church that, if the preaching and fellowship and teaching are equal, has a better fit musically?
Just curious why the push back re music.
You make some good points. The traditionalists are usually blamed for the “worship wars”, but as I often point out, it takes two to fight. I also do not understand the reason for turning the sound system up full blast (though in fairness, it’s not just contemporary churches who are guilty of this offense). I’ve heard all the excuses for why the music “has” to be that loud, but I don’t buy it. Simply put, the worship leaders play it that loud because they want it that way, and they don’t care how it affects anyone else. So much for the “golden rule”, huh?
We need to be very careful with number 2. I had a couple leave my congregation because they have bought into the whole LGBTQ agenda. They left our church in such a way that they made a mess as they went out the door for the last time. What I find funny is that they left for a bigger church where there is no accountability. The church they now attend is so big and they can blend in without having to defend their unbiblical beliefs.
Agenda? LGBTQ is not an agenda. It is just how some very kind good Christian people are. This attitude is what is breaking up churches, making the Methodists leave their churches and come to my open affirming mainline Presbyterian church where women are considered equal and worthy of ordination, and everyone is a child of God, not just the conservative small thinkers.Welcome to the 21st century, it is not 1955 anymore. My theology tells me this is not what Jesus would have done. To each his own.
Your theology is just that … your theology. Your theology is in opposition to God’s theology as found in the Bible. Your theology tells you things about Jesus that are false.
Did the Bible suddenly change just because it’s the 21st century?
What breaks up churches is a refusal to accept God’s Word.
I’m in New England and we’re getting a lot of Methodists come visit our church who feel their denomination has abandoned them. Also, some churches are not adapting for the future, so when the exodus begins, they come to our church or others like us. There’s a lot of growth going on, most of it transfer growth, but not all. But I’m glad we have some seasoned Christians moving in because we’ll need people who can lead a Bible study when we start getting more people who are completely unchurched. Pray for New England. I think we’re on the cusp of a change in the tides. I’m optimistic about this region.
We’ve seen that in our church as well.
I love your optimism, Wesley! I share it with you. Praying right now.
I would say in my community, point five is the biggest reason after visiting numerous churches. We need biblical preaching and not someone’s opinion or worldly view. Personally I think there are more lost people in the church than we want to admit or believe.
I would add; if you’re under an abusive leader, clearly defined by the Scriptures & confirmed by witnesses & after obeying the commands of the Bible to be reconciled/confronting sin, abuse still occurs, then I believe it’s definitely time to change churches.
I would agree. You’ve added another sound reason. It’s sad when this happens, but it does happen.
How about the Pastor really didn’t care for them it does happen
Other reasons might include:
1. A conformist church targeting members and attacking them for their uniqueness.
2. A major shift in governmental authority, such as a “deacon takeover.”
3. An irreconcilable conflict with an extended family after a divorce.
I would like to see the balanced counterpart to this article. “When NOT to Leave” or “5 Worst Reasons for Leaving a Church.”