I am reticent to write this article. I do not want to encourage pastors to leave churches too early. Frankly, many pastors have shared with me that, in the aftermath of their departures, they realized they had made a mistake. They left too soon.
Many times the departure takes place between years two to four of a pastor’s tenure. That is the typical period when the “honeymoon” is over and some level of conflict, even crises, have begun. Many pastors who made it to years five and beyond express thanksgiving that they did not depart in those more difficult early years.
I confess that I left a church too soon. My family’s income was below the poverty line, and I was too proud to express my financial needs to any trusted church leader. The church’s income had tripled in my three-year tenure, so I could have easily been paid more. And I have little doubt that some of the leaders in the church would have gladly helped. My stupid and sinful pride got in the way.
So I have asked over thirty pastors why they left their previous church. Obviously, my survey is both informal and small. Still, the responses were both fascinating and telling. Here are the top seven responses in order of frequency, and they are not always mutually exclusive.
- “I had a strong sense of call to another church.” This response was articulated in a number of different ways, but the essence was the same. Slightly over half of the respondents left because of the “pull” rather than the “push.”
- “I became weary and distracted with all the conflict and criticisms.” What leader has not been here? What pastor has not been here? It is often a death by a thousand cuts.
- “I no longer felt like I was a good match for the church.” One pastor shared candidly that he felt like the church outgrew him. He said he had the skill set to serve a church with an attendance of 150. But when it grew to 500 after eight years, he felt that his leadership skills were not adequate to take the church any further.
- “I left because of family needs.” One pastor moved closer to his aging parents who had no one to care for them. Another indicated his family was miserable in their former church location.
- “I was fired or forced out.” This story is far too common. Of course, some of the other factors in this list overlap with this one.
- “I was called to a different type of ministry.” Some left to take a position other than lead pastor in another church. Others went into parachurch or denominational ministry. I am among those who left the pastorate for denominational work.
- “I was not paid adequately.” I related my own story above. Let me be clear. The pastors with whom I spoke were not seeking extravagant pay, just adequate pay. And like me, most of them were uncomfortable broaching the issue with any leaders in the church.
What do you think of these seven factors? What would you add? What have been your experiences?
Posted on July 14, 2014
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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131 Comments
Thom,
Not to “plug” a book that is not from the Rainer family, but as I have struggled with the “call” and “questions about leaving or staying at a church” – I picked up a small – thin book by Jeff Iorg at the convention this year – called “Is God Calling Me” – it has been helpful and insightful as to answering the call and reasons to leave or stay at a church. Might I suggest it to some that struggling to enter the ministry and for some that considering leaving the ministry. It might help some in this area of life.
Pastor Dave: Thank you! That is a great book. I too commend Dr. Iorg’s to readers.
One issue that I don’t often see addressed when it comes to taking or leaving a church is distinguishing between personal emotion and the will of God. Sadly, these two are too often confused. Leaving a church is a difficult, and very often an emotionally charged, event. Whatever the reason, emotions are high.
Pastors considering leaving always ask, “Is it time?” “Is this what God really wants?” And I believe they always ask, “How do I know this is God’s will and not my will?” Some follow their emotions, thinking that God speaks that way. Some go with reason and logic, thinking that’s God’s voice However, when is it God speaking or our emotions screaming? Sometimes our emotions blind us or mislead us.
When seeking God’s will, something I started doing a few years ago is asking God to make his will absolutely clear, for him not to let me be led by emotions or logic. I always tell him that I don’t want to have any doubts that it is his will. I don’t need the specific future plans, only absolute certainty that I am hearing God’s voice amidst the emotional avalanche. So far he has not disappointed, and I don’t think such requests are sinful prayers or doubtful, but rather faithful: faithful to making sure we hear God clearly so that we don’t wander astray.
I’d love to see a discussion on how to walk through the storm of emotions to hear God’s voice. We all know the platitudes and stories (small, still voice in the storm; just stop and listen), but the ‘how’ is the hard part. How do we do this? This is a worthy dialog.
Number five is far too common. I experienced it this past January and we are still trying to get over the hurt and chaos it has caused our family and are still out of ministry. As I have talked with other ministers I have found more and more that churches like to cut out the person rather than address the problem regardless of the fallout.
I have been the pastor of our church for the last 13 years. This past Sunday I was verbally and physically assaulted by a church member. I have been under attack from them for the last few months because they disagreed with a decision the whole church made in a business meeting. Last Wednesday I was given a nasty letter and then Sunday morning my wife was jumped on and then myself. The man got in my face screaming at the top of his lungs in and hitting me in the chest with his finger. My daughter is 13 and is refusing to go back and my son is 8 and is scared to death that something is going to happen to me and I won’t ever come home if I go back. Please pray for our family!
Praying. I’m so sorry. You obviously have folks who need to hear the gospel!
My husband and I are currently pastoring a small church. We love the people. We have been at this church about five years. He is preaching a series on reviving ourselves. There has been no response and some actually are sleeping through the services. We are doing the work, m most of the people are older, the church is struggling both financially and numerically. My husband has begun to consider leaving. But in our late 50s he is considering leaving the ppastorate all together. This is our fifth church. It is a difficult decision. He is not sure at our age another church, any different, would consider us.
Don’t get down hearted. Age should never be a reason to stop what God has called you to do. A great example of this is our current interim Director of Missions. The man is 89 years old and still going. I asked him at his age why he doesn’t retire his response was this… “The One I work for has a better retirement plan then any this world has to offer and I took the job of working for Him knowing that the work would never be finished”. Praying for you and your husband.
Just this past Sunday, the Pastor of a church I have been visiting pretty regulary gave his resignation. He has been the Senior Pastor for aprox. 14 yrs. and though I’m not a member I suspect his health and family were his primary reasons for stepping down. The frustrating part, at least from the outside looking in is this church of aprox 500 lost their Youth Pastor and Worship Director all within a few months of each-other. The church itself has been around since the early 1900s and has a strong congregation dedicated to the Great Commission, but please keep this church in Clarksville in your prayers.
Larry – Clarksville TN? I have several good pastor friends in that area… great area! Pray for the next pastor!
This article is heartbreaking! The calling of a Shepherd is just so much more to me than what is seen! I just wonder though….does any of these men feel supported by their family? I really believe this call is for the entire family and they need that surrounding wall of support from home and family both close and extended. Secondly I wonder do the feel the call is to the “city” which would include marketplace and education and government? I think this call is just not one you can “quit” ……it is given into your spirit and one you can’t just walk away from much like God can’t walk away from Israel. I do believe you may move or make changes but I don’t know seems those cities and those in the city are still yours to Shepherd one way or another – maybe God is just “adding” to them?!
Two years later because I’m just reading this here in 2016. Nanci Craig, have you ever been in the ministry? If not it’s hard to relate, but if so not so hard. This men may not articulate everything correctly or “tactfully” but you have to appreciate their honesty. I have been a pastor almost 12 years and I know what its like to feel what these men feel.
I am currently looking to a new ministry and it’s not totally easy to define.
I once heard someone say that you know it is time to leave a church when one has more dreams than they have vision.
I was a product of #5, I was forced out, but in reality, I was wrongfully terminated. Two attorney’s said I should sue for a large sum of money. I chose the high road, enough said.
I feel that one reason is do to the doubt and struggle over their sin. I know a good friend and pastor who left because of the inner struggle. Worst yet, I have known some Pastors to ashame to admit there struggle that ended up taking their lives. Brothers please seek unity and accoutnability in your asociations or ciclres.
It appears that if # 1 is true for you
– than #s 2 & 3 are most probably also true for you
– # 4 may likely be true
– and #s 6 & 7 might apply