Twelve Weird Items in Church Bylaws

Sometimes reading a church’s bylaws is like taking a trip to the twilight zone.

Some are lengthy, very lengthy. Some are irrelevant. Some are unreadable.

And others are weird, really weird.

Knowing that I would get some incredible responses from my Twitter followers, I simply asked them if they were a part of a church with some weird bylaw provisions. Keep in mind, these are provisions in bylaws, not in a policy manual.

Here are my twelve favorites:

  1. No one can bring a colored drink to church, especially red Kool-Aid. I wonder how many church members were sneaking that stuff in their flasks.
  2. An active member is defined as one who gives at least one penny a year. Oh my. That would cut the Baptist church rolls in half.
  3. There will be very specific guidelines regarding the church van (but the church doesn’t own a van). The new bylaws amendment will be called “the Uber amendment.”
  4. Men serving communion are required to wear a coat and tie. I am totally flabbergasted they don’t have to wear pants.
  5. The church has to have a minimum of five deacons (but the church only has 20 members). It may get complicated if one of the available deacon candidates is a preschooler.
  6. No one can sell cassettes on church grounds. But 8-track tapes and vinyl records are fine.
  7. No one is allowed to bring glitter to church. I am definitely boycotting this church!
  8. No church member can be a part of a secret society. I wonder if that includes Democrats and Republicans.
  9. No church member can drink alcohol except during the Lord’s Supper. So that’s why the Lord’s Supper day is always such a high attendance day!
  10. No one can sell paintings on church grounds. This issue is indeed a pervasive sin in many churches.
  11. No one can come to church with diarrhea. That’s okay. They probably wouldn’t pay much attention to the preaching anyway.
  12. Members cannot have assigned pews. But you are allowed to bring your own personal chair.

I know you readers have some good ones to add to this list! If not, give me your prayerful insights into these twelve issues.

It should be fun.

Posted on May 2, 2016


With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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77 Comments

  • Colin Cameron says on

    “The wardens of this parish shall not sell any of its pews.” This caused no end of debates when a certain rector suggested that they should install chairs instead to make the worship space more flexible.

  • Colin Cameron says on

    “This congregation will not worship with any group that does not confess the triune God.” I then was asked to process Buddhist relics into the worship space by a group that was renting the space for a weekend retreat. When I pointed this part of our Corporate Bylaw out to the Council, no one knew it was there.

  • I do not belong to a specific sect because of some of the rules enforced on members. When I am asked what church I belong to I say “GOD’S church”. I am a Mason and a Shriner and neither has ever been negative about GOD. I sometimes laugh when the council does certain things like vote the Pastor out and won’t give a reason. That makes each member belong to a secret organization. No religion is 100% correct in their teachings and some of the reasons given have no biblical standing. I try to keep my eye on GOD, his teachings and forget about the pettiness of others within the church. Being religious, belonging to a church and being a Christian are not the same thing.

  • Joe Wiggins says on

    I had a staff member who served at a church where the bylaws stated that the church could not purchase dirt devil vacuum cleaners.

  • After 40 years as a believer I didn’t know that any of these were actually in any church bylaws. I know of churches who practice some of these. It sure does explain why some folks would rather go to hell than church.

  • Daniel Norman says on

    What about Deacons being a board and with a 2/3 vote can gorce the pastor to resign without any reason. That happened to me. My family and I are still suffering!

  • In my last pastorate, the by-laws stated that the church would have six deacons. I never knew how that number came about, but in a church of 80-100 people deacons can be difficult to find, especially as the group of six gets older and has health problems related to aging. Several years ago in a business meeting, a church member demanded that I do something about the church not having six deacons. This kind of irked me, and I almost said, “Do you want me to build some? I think we have some spare body parts in the back room behind the church office.”

    I didn’t say that, but perhaps I should have. On another note, you may recall that I stepped out of the pastorate after 30 years back in September to re-enter the secular work force. I recently became interim pastor of a small congregation and this is proving to be a blessing. I am enjoying being bi-vocational. Far less pressure that being a full time pastor.

    Thanks for the encouragement brother Thom.

  • Anthony Cavaliere says on

    Number 11 is really odd. Wonder why that rule was enacted? As for my old EFCA church our by laws stated that a quorum to enact business at a congregational meeting consisted of 9 men. So theoretically you could have 100 women and 8 men and not be able to even make a motion. This is still, as far as I know, on the books.

  • #12 should have an exception in place for #11.

  • Thom,
    My experience is that most bylaws are a coded history of previous church conflict… Thus, they are often poorly reactive instead of biblically proactive. It makes for fun reading and sad reading, all at once. I always like the ones that talk about the Bible as sufficient for all faith and practice and then states that, in the event of conflict in a business meeting, Robert’s Rules shall be consulted as the final authority. As a Bride, we are a mess… but so glad He still loves us!

  • I’ve have two; no instruments of music and no dancing. The no instruments of music was written into the deed of the church property. A growing church found out when they went to sell their property to another religious group that uses instruments, so they could purchase and build a new facility. The deed stated that if this was ever violated the property would revert back to the original donating family. The property was worth 1.5 million dollars. Donated 75 years earlier. One of the original signees on the deed was a 95 year old elder , who refused to sign the deed over to the sellers. This same clause in on many deeds of Church of Christ properties.

  • Jonathan LaFleur says on

    Hey Thom,

    Could you make a section in your blog called “Humor” where posts like this would be listed? I enjoy reading them and sharing them with other staff members. It would make them easier to find if they were grouped together!