Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. I was first surprised at how many responded. But I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors and other church leaders.
Many of the comments related to using the Bible too much or to being too evangelistic. I should make those a blog post by themselves.
I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher. I left off many great comments to keep this post manageable. I’ve only made minor wording changes to some of these. For the most part, I received these quotes just as you are seeing them. The parenthetical words after each comment represent my off-the-cuff commentary.
- “We need a small group for cat lovers.” (I guess they could serve Meow Mix as a snack.)
- “You need to change your voice.” (Yes ma’am. I’ll try to have that done by next week.)
- “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.” (Yep. You don’t want too many of those hipsters in your church.)
- “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible. (I should have known that’s what Jesus and Paul wore.)
- “Your socks are distracting.” (I understand. I’ll stop wearing socks.)
- “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.” (It’s going to get really weird by the time they turn 70 years old.)
- “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.” (I don’t understand. They match the towels in the men’s restroom.)
- “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.” (So, you will be leaving the church, I presume.)
- “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.” (Major medical announcement! New carcinogen discovered!)
- “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” (There could be a reason for that.)
- “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)
- “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)
- “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)
- (To a pastor who married interracially). “You are living in sin. You shouldn’t be married to each other.” (That one is not worthy of commentary.)
- “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” (It’s better than Meow Mix.)
- “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.” (I understand that one. Bacon rules.)
- “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.” (At least not simultaneously.)
- “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” (My guess is that it is still functional.)
- “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?” (Be patient. I will be preaching a six-week expository series on him in the fall.)
- “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.” (Yes we do. They are right next to the spittoons for your chewing tobacco.)
- “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!” (Who needs a clock when I have you?)
- “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” (We thought you could jump up and down after you ate them to finish the job.)
- “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.” (That’s because you are on that side.)
- “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.” (I understand. It’s in the same verse that describes his pitchfork and horns.)
- “Your sermon needed more calories.” (Okay. I’ll feed it one of those donuts in the foyer.)
Pastors and other church leaders must have great patience and strength. They are faced with these and many other comments and demands every day. I love these church leaders, and I thank God for them.
Share with me what comments you have received. And tell me what you think of the twenty-five comments that were shared with me.
Posted on August 19, 2015
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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615 Comments
I’ve been a pastor for 17 years, and have had remarkably few hurtful comments. Mostly, the outrageous ones have been so outrageous they move beyond hurtful into the realm of comedy.
My favourites:
1) A couple in the church were upset about an Alpha course being run because of the Holy Spirit weekend. “Well,” the lady huffed, “I don’t know about this. All I know is, the Holy Spirit sure isn’t Anglican!” This one still makes me smile.
2) Minutes before heading into worship, a prominent visiting theologian felt he needed to loudly explain to me, in front of a host of lay leaders, why he couldn’t accept my leadership as a woman. He then preached a sermon on grace.
3) At a women’s prayer gathering, a sister in Christ looked gob-smacked when I told her I pastored an Anglican church. “Anglican?” she exclaimed. “Anglican?!!! But…there haven’t been Christians in the Anglican church for YEARS!”
4) Uncomfortable, and sometimes hurtful are the public discussions about one’s salary at annual meetings.
How about, “Pastor, your last sermon is always better than the next.” (I think she genuinely got turned around…)
I hope so!
Having been in ministry for a bit over a year, lists like these remind me how blessed I am at the church where I’ve been stationed! The “worst” I’ve gotten so far is one parishioner who on several occasions has introduced me to other people like this: “Oh, this is our new pastor. I know he doesn’t dress like it, but he is!” (I wear a suit or at least a shirt and tie on Sundays and to just about any other even semi-formal occasion, and shorts and a T-shirt in most other settings.)
Serving as a youth pastor in my first year of ministry, the 17 year old problem student finally told me why she didn’t like me. “God has been silent in my life since you came to the church, so it must be your fault.”
Years ago while serving in a rural church, the pastor enlisted me (the music/youth guy) to field prayer requests from the congregation. On this morning, a lady in the very back of the congregation, announced her need for prayer because of pending surgery. She explained she had cysts in her breast and then further explained it this way. “Imagine my breast as a clock. I have cysts at 1 and 6.” The Pastor sat on the front pew with a giant ear to ear grin. I’m sure I turned multiple shades of red….
Wow. “Imagine my breast as a clock.” You can’t make up this stuff.
After a message from Galatians, one of our members followed me off the stage, red faced and flustered he shouted, “I can’t believe this, you just made it sound like grace was free!” I just smiled and said “bingo!”
When I was a student pastor I had a parent schedule a meeting and he was very upset because “all his daughter wants to do anymore is study her Bible and talk about Jesus – even out in public”. I asked if I could list him as a reference on my resume.
Thanks for the post and giving me a little laughter this morning!
This has happened to both my mother-in-law (pastors wife) in church and then again, years later, to her daughter at a Awana night. Both women had been asked to leave because their breastfeeding (with a cover) was “making the young men and boys of the church stumble.”
Maybe if those young teens and boys saw women breastfeed and nurture babies more often, they wouldn’t “stumble”. That line of thinking has always made me laugh. Do they really think Jesus was bottle-fed? They didn’t even use covers back then. 😛
My husband and I have recently been receiving numerous “anonymous” letters filled with down right crazy complaints. They are mad we have an offsite Sunday night service, there are WICA (I think they meant wicca) visiting our church, we had a cookout just so we could take the left overs home to feed our kids, and the church apparently pays for my home so we need to ask before we put in new windows and landscaping (we own our home, not a parsonage) They are all typed on a typewriter which is super cool! Some have been sent to the church, some to Nate Adams (IBSA) and the most recent addressed to me at my home.. It said “Could you find something better to wear while you are doing whatever it is you do up there. You are embarrassing!”
What I am “doing up there” is leading worship!
I am not a Pastor but a faithful Church member, but after Reading all the outrageous comments people make in Church reminds me of a time several years ago while on vacation from Michigan. We visited a small Baptist Church in north Alabama , we found out as we entered the front door they had a new Pastor and really didnt know how he would work out. We were shocked at the comment but elected to stay for the service. The Pastor had preached there once before he was voted it, and apparently he had preached longer than the members liked. So they had sent emails telling him to cut it short this Sunday or some of the members would leave during the service. I am proud to say when the Pastor walked in he stopped the choir in the middle of the song, took the pulpit confronted the members and said, God tells me when to start preaching and He tells me when to quit, so if you get finished before me and God you are free to leave but please do so by the double doors at the rear of the Church and not those up front so as to not interfere with the rest of us. I did not see anyone leave . Everytime we go down South we try and visit that Church.
Once, when paying for coffee while wearing my clericals, the server looked up at me, surprised, and said,
“Are you a preacher?”
” I am indeed.”
” I didn’t know they had women of those. That’s pretty cool.”
Yep, there are women of those.
I was once asked, “So what do they call female pastors? Are you a pastorette?” Um…..no….
Not so much a hurtful comment (though I’ve taken some of those in my first 2 years), but one that ended up making my day, despite possibly being considered inappropriate.
When visiting a member in a nursing home, and sitting having conversation at a table with 3 or 4 other ladies, one of them found out I am a pastor and said “Oh he can’t be a pastor…he’s way too much of a hunk.”
Not sure if that was a testimony to staying in shape, or just a comment on my age…but I guess you never know what you’re going to hear.
Take the win.
I was once preaching for a couple months in supply at a very small dying ‘family’ church. For the time I was there 20 people would have been a huge week. I was told by one of the members after a sermon that I preached “evangelism is not the answer for our church. Bringing new people in will only make things worse”.
Also, I did receive some solid advice, though it hurt, once after my first sermon. After preaching for about 45 minutes a man met me in the back of the church and told me that if I were to slow down and speak slower I could have used 2 services for that material. I have sense learned to contain a bit of my excitement and slow down. Speed preaching will never be an Olympic sport
I had one just come to mind.
I visited a sweet older lady at a nursing home who had advanced Alzheimer disease. I brought her flowers since it was her birthday. I held the flowers as we sat and talked, because she was shaky and frail. About every 5 minutes she asked who the flowers were for and I reminded her they were hers because of her birthday. About 30 minutes into my visit she started screaming and trying to hit me. She was furious that i would be trying to steal her flowers. I needed to but those down right now and get my sticky fingers off of them.
That’s the Lord’s work, to the least of these. No joke.
As a worship pastor, I’ll never forget the Sunday that a gentleman (who was bald) approached the stage during a “meet and greet” time and asked my wife, who was playing electric guitar, if she was having a bad hair day.