What Do Non-Christians Really Think of Us?

June 15, 2013

I consider myself a very blessed man in a number of ways. This blog has become one of my great blessings. One of the reasons I love this blog community is the variety of people who interact on it. There has been an increase in the number of people who aren’t Christians who comment on various posts. I want to share with you the perspective of one young woman on how she views Christians. These comments come directly from her comments on some of my posts. They have not been changed.

On Being Selfish, Not Really Interested in Others

I remember a rather outspoken evangelical Christian young woman I worked with – I’d just moved to town, and we went to a movie together. Each week she invited me to her church, and I didn’t want to offend her by saying “No thanks.” As it was, I had Buddhist activities one Sunday and I was mentoring a young girl two other Sundays, but that theoretically left a Sunday open. We only worked together for 3 months, and it never worked out. I went to a different job.

She showed up there one night, and jumped right to the church invite. No “Hey, how’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a while!” Nope – just “Do you want to come to church with me this weekend?” Since I was on to her game, I decided to play. I said, “Sure, I’ll go to church with you, because I’m interested in seeing what you’re interested in. That’s what friends do, after all. And I’m sure you’ll want to come with me to a Buddhist meeting to see what I’m interested in, right?”

“Oh no!” she replied. “I just love the Lord so much!”

“Well,” I said, “then there’s no point in me going to your church because I’m not interested in either becoming a Christian or joining your church.” I never saw her again.

That’s how far Christian friendship extends – I’ve seen it over and over and over. Christians look at everyone else as if they’ve got targets painted on their foreheads. Nobody likes being hunted down or treated like someone else’s project. We don’t need to drop all our beliefs just to accept yours, and we don’t need to become more like you just to be acceptable people, worthy of being regarded as people instead of targets. Love does not seek to create clones of itself. Selfishness does.

On Being Self-centered and Judgmental

Keep your religious beliefs to yourself. If I have any interest in what you believe, I’ll ask you. And if I don’t ask you, then go right ahead and assume that your “witnessing” will be unwelcome. I’m sure that you like whatever you believe very much, and I’m very happy that you like it. However, just as your favorite flavor of ice cream is not necessarily going to be mine, I wish you would assume that I’m just as content with my own beliefs (or lack thereof) as you are with yours. Why not ask me first what *I* believe? Why not show an interest in what’s interesting to me instead of expecting me to always be interested in what YOU’RE interested in? Christians are so selfish and self-centered! Tell me – when was the last time an atheist rang your doorbell to tell you about his worldview? The reason the world hates Christians is because they behave badly, they’re rude, boorish, arrogant, conceited, full of themselves, ignorant, and judgmental. Go ahead – accuse me of being judgmental now. Doesn’t matter – I don’t claim to follow a belief system that has actual rules AGAINST being judgmental, so it’s *fine* for me to be!

On Being Unwilling to Develop True Friendships with Non-Christians

As a mother of young children in a homeschooling environment, we found ourselves surrounded by Christians. Of course, the kids would become friends and we moms would chat while they played. Without a single exception, this “acquaintanceship” only progressed to the point that I had to make it clear that no, I would not acceptjesusasmypersonalsavior, and no, I would not be attending their church. Then the Christians never called again, and I was left to explain to my sad children why their new friends wouldn’t be playing with them any more.

When my son was just 6, the boys down the street told him he was not allowed to play with them because he wasn’t a Christian. I went down to see what was going on (because my 4-yr-old daughter was going to go down there and teach those boys a lesson!) and I confirmed that what my son had reported was indeed what they’d said. And the mother of one was right out in the front yard, 25 feet from me, pretending to be very focused on trimming some plants. She never said a word.

Finally, the 6-yr-old girl across the street told my kids, ages 7 and 9, that if they weren’t Christians, they would be going to hell. She certainly learned the “Good News”. And you Christians wonder why we non-Christians avoid you?? HINT: It’s not because we’re intimidated by your awesomeness and are just sitting here, pining for you, wishing you would like us. We already know you don’t.

Your Response?

Frankly, I found these comments painfully true for many of us. Though my first reaction was one of defensiveness, the more I read them, the more I realize that this women has identified many of us Christians too clearly.

What do you think? What is your response?

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295 Comments

  • Barney Wolfe says on

    That is oh so true. The more fundagelical the christianist, the more manipulative and self-righteous they are. Seriously, fundagelical christians could actually better their game by emulating the mormons…. they’re that bad!

    • Christianity is a Roman Edomite creation, The Children of Israel never called Their Savior “Christ” that’s a Roman word created in Antioch to reclassify/ rename the Children of God[Acts 11:26
      “And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.”] Christian dosen’t mean someone following “Christ” it’s a bloodline descendant of the disciples, who are thr disciples? Acts 13:1
      “Now there were in the church that was at Antioch certain prophets and teachers; as Barnabas, and Simeon that was called Niger, and Lucius of Cyrene, and Manaen, which had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch, and Saul.”… what did they call Barnabas and Simeon? The same thing they called the “black” American slave. Christianity was created to create non believers specifically in the “black” and brown communities, christianity teaches lawlessness and grace, Israelites teach the keeping of the law and truth. Broad is the way to distruction and all of the millions of blind followers of Christianity adre headed there fast.

  • Me Here says on

    As long as you’re willing to keep your foolishness to yourself and obey social conventions of respecting autonomy, personal agency, and consent, I have no real opinion on YOUR KIND, nor do I have reason to.

    Violate the social contract by DISrespecting autonomy, personal agency, and consent, and I’ll oppose you and YOUR KIND to my dying breath.

  • Pay Attention says on

    With Christianity, you are setting yourself towards slavery. Worshipping the “God” egregore doesn’t benefit you, it only serves to be an energy bank for the beings (Angels) who made it. They don’t care about you. The only thing you get in return is a false feeling of bliss and malevolent beings and thoughtforms telling you lies. When you die, your soul will merge with this energy source until your next incarnation. That is, if you follow the light. Your memory of this lifetime will be forgotten until, somewhere down the road, in your next incarnation or another, you realize that you had a choice.

    There is no need to be saved. The entire paradigm of needing to be saved from a “fate” in the non-existant “Hell” is a lie. It’s only a ploy by certain beings to enslave your soul. But go ahead if you will. Kerp denying it. You will see exactly what I mean when you “die”… or in another lifetime. You’re not going to find much truth in a book that has been edited countless times. Faith in that won’t give you answers or strength.

    Our lives are lessons. We are meant to become stronger with each incarnation. The beings who actually created us don’t demand our worship. Why would an all-powerful being need that? They only ask that we try to become as they are. The only decent thing to do is forget about the lies of “Heaven” and “Hell”, then accept that there is one other plane of existance when your physical body is gone. Meditate and appreciate what was given freely by Ea (Enki). Once you being to see things as they are, all of this becomes clear.

    It’s a long and difficult road that most of humanity isn’t yet ready for. That doesn’t mean individuals can’t learn to change themselves, however.

    • Pay Attention says on

      This is why it’s important to learn about meditation. There is a way to tell if you’re talking to a real being, a thoughtform, or an egregore. Just having faith and getting the “feeling” that you’re dealing with the real thing, or a non-malevolent soul, is not enough. There are beings who are far more advanced than any of us. They find human efforts laughable and have had many years of practice.

      Your spiritual strength will never grow so long as you are worshipping someone or something thay only seeks to enslave you.

      Like I said, you will eventually see.

      Peace.

    • Wow this sounds great tell me more:
      Is there any objective proof to your truth claims?
      What is the foundation of your belief?
      Are you a Buddhist?
      If so did you get all this from a book/tradition/a spirit speaking?

      If we are reincarnated and forget our previous life, how can we know we are reincarnated?

      I’m only asking cause this seems like a religion that is all about the individual merit and what I understand of Christianity it’s all about what Jesus did.

      • Pay Attention says on

        It’s about direct experience. That is where true spiritual development is found. You eventually learn how to tell beings apart, how to meditate, how to communicate, etc. Books can’t even begin to cover how these things work. The only way you can prove it to yourself is to do it.

        I’m not a Buddhist. I was called to be a traditional healer. The ancestors and spirits teach you.

        When you’ve put in the effort to recognize past lives, you will remember them. You can also remember the time between incarnations. Some are advanced enough to carry that ability as a continuum. Meaning their memory of their existence is eternal.

        I understand your enquiry. I don’t belong to any religion. The closest thing could be Humanism. In the end, I believe in individual advancement and helping others to advance as well.

    • Antonne Smalls says on

      Trying to understand your use of the word malevolent. Can you expand on that? Are your theories about the afterlife recorded somewhere? By the way I stumbled upon you comments while preparing for a Sunday school Lesson I googled “How the world views Christians”

      • Pay Attention says on

        Malevolent as in having bad intentions. It could be in reference to a being that deceives your or sucks away your energy.

        I can get back to you when I find some good sources. It’s good that you’re sharing outside views. I wish my pastor did that when I was in Sunday school and confirmation classes.

  • Christ told Peter, “If you love me feed my sheep.” The last thing He said before He went to be with His Father was to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Not all who call Christ Lord are true christians, but having said that christians can be very unchristian at times, but the fact remains, our God told us to tell everyone about Him. Hopefully we speak the Truth in Love. It is not loving to lie to someone. If someone was about to be hit by a truck it would not be loving to hold your peace because you thought they would be mad at you for warning them.

    • Blanche Quizno says on

      “Christ told Peter, “If you love me feed my sheep.” ”

      No, that’s what Gospel Jesus said to *SIMON* – see for yourself:

      So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, *Simon*, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, *Simon*, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time, *Simon*, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. (John 21:15-17)

      Why do you suppose the jeez *FORGOT* that super-special-secret name, Peter, that he’d supposedly already bestowed upon Simon??

      “The last thing He said before He went to be with His Father was to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”

      And in Colossians 1:23, Paul declares that’s already been completed:

      “If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;”

      So here we are O_O

  • Gentleman Fox says on

    These comments are nothing compared to my experiences from “loving” Christian’s (sarcasm). It’s one thing to say you’re a non-believer. Try saying you’re a non-believer who’s gay. I have been belittled, harassed, physically hit, told… “You are a beast! Who should be cast back into hell.”

    I’ve had death-threats, one preacher tried to lay hands on me to cast out the homosexual demon inside me. I was blackmailed by a Christian police officer to the point of having a nervous breakdown. *JUST LEAVE THE LGBT ALONE, ALREADY!* We have had enough of your kind of love.

    I do not like Christian’s! They are a self-righteous, self-centered hate filled group. I’m currently writing a fictional novel based on my life. I must say Christian’s do not fare well in my novel. Looking back on my life, as I write my novel, Christian’s are the (obvious) villain’s in my life’s story-line.

    I have a HUGE problem with hypocrisy. I know so many Christians who are having sex before marriage, masturbating, committing adultery, and getting divorced. Yet, I’ve never once seen a group of “Holy Roller’s” picketing in the front yard of adulterer’s, and telling them they’re going to burn in hell! I keep hearing about all this Christian love but all my ears have ever heard was words filled with hate.

    Leave us alone.

    • Kamogelo says on

      I am so sorry that your experience with Christianity has been so brutal and that you associate us with such hostility. There are no words that can express how this hurts my heart.
      This is such the opposite of what Jesus portrays and our greatest commandments (to love the Lord with all our heart, soul and mind; and to love our neighbours as we love ourselves). The Bible does say that homosexuality is sin but that does not give us any right to hate, abuse and attack others. I am sorry that people condemned (and may still condemn) you. No one has the right to judge or make you feel less than them, especially Christians to whom God has shown immeasurable mercy, other than God himself. No one is made perfect but we are made righteous because of mercy and grace and not by our own strength, will or actions. And, this self-righteousness and hypocrisy is what we’re constantly warned about.
      So I pray that you find love (that is true and pure), peace and healing.

  • Gentleman Fox says on

    These comments are nothing compared to my experiences from “loving” Christian’s (sarcasm). It’s one thing to say you’re a non-believer. Try saying you’re a non-believer who’s gay. I have been belittled, harassed, physically hit, told… “You are a beast! Who should be cast back into hell.”

    I’ve had death-threats, One preacher tried to lay hands on me to cast out the homosexual demon inside me. I was blackmailed by a Christian police officer to the point of having a nervous breakdown. *JUST LEAVE THE LGBT ALONE, ALREADY!* We have had enough of your kind of love.

    I do not like Christian’s! They are a self-righteous, self-centered hate filled group. I’m currently writing a fictional novel based on my life. I must say Christian’s do not fair well in my novel. Looking back on my life, as I write my novel, Christian’s are the (obvious) villain’s in my life’s story-line.

    I have a HUGE problem with hypocrisy. I know so many Christians who are having sex before marriage, masturbating, committing adultery, and getting divorced. Yet, I’ve never once seen a group of “Holy Roller’s” picketing in the front yard of adulterer’s, and telling them they’re going to burn in hell! I keep hearing about all this Christian love but all my ears have ever heard was words filled with hate.

    Leave us alone.

  • This blog has really made me understand how non christians feel about us. For years as a Christian I couldn’t understand how street evangelism and preaching to random people could work. Maybe you might come across a broken individual who has ears to hear but I think most people would walk away. It’s like when a Mormon knocks on my door, I kindly tell them I do not believe anything that’s in the book of Mormons and kindly send them away. So non Christians must look at the bible the same way.

    I work with non Christians all the time, they know I’m a Christian but I don’t preach and lecture.. If I see them in distress or share their problems with me, I listen first, then tell them I empathize with them because I’ve been through a whole lot in my life. I usually give them a friendly advice and that’s it. If I come across someone who has lost all hope, again I listen then tell them “if you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked maybe you can try praying to God for help, what do you have to lose?” That’s it, i say nothing else. Some people actually end up coming back to ask questions about my faith and I take that as an opportunity to share the gospel. and some don’t.

    When non believers say ”All you Christians!!!” That right there hurts, NOT all of us are forcing faith, or on high horses, judging and discriminating etc. Christians should know the Bible clearly teaches Christians are NOT to judge the non Christians, that’s God’s job. Christians let me remind you Romans 2:24 “For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles (non christians) because of you (Christians).”

    Sometimes, as a Christian I feel like I’m constantly walking on egg shells, one mistake with a non believer and all Christians are condemned by them. I’m not a robot created never to fall, fail, hurt, get angry, offend someone. I’m a Christian who is constantly, learning and growing in Christ.

    I haven’t lead a bus load of people to Christ, but if that’s the only goal in a Christian then I think they are missing the point. God said you can do everything right in your life feed the homeless, evangelize, go to church whatever, but If you don’t have Love, you are nothing. I believe the article above, the Christian in the story did not have genuine love.

    Please don’t rule out every Christian you meet.

  • Wow. This is one of the very best articles and threads I’ve ever read on this subject – and I agree with much of what my fellow non-Christians have to say on the subject – and am touched by the Christians who are “starting to get it” from their responses in turn.

    I have many problems with Christianity from both a theological, as well as a logical standpoint – but that is neither here nor there and not germane to this discussion. I will only add two thoughts for confused Christians to chew on, and they’re inter-related:

    1) It isn’t Christianity per se, its the entire concept of monotheism. Monotheists all share the same foibles and problems. Throughout history, all strands of monotheism that I’m aware of have the same “convert or die” philosophies – going all the way back to the Pharaoh Akhenaten. Smarter people than I have written at length on this subject, and it has left a bloody trail throughout history. The horrific “Christianization of Europe” alone is the stuff of nightmares! Google a couple of “nice chaps”, the two Emperors Theodosius for a great starting point. Islam is just as bad, although it seems Judaism has “learned the lesson” and seems to me to be the best form of Monotheism of which I have passing familiarity. Of course the Jews have suffered horrifically from both Moslems AND Christians through the centuries.

    2) The vast majority of the followers of non-monotheistic religions don’t care whether or not you are a member of their religion or not. Buddhists, Hindus, the various flavors of Pagans, etc, etc – as a result, nobody hates them! Here’s your big clue, Sherlock! See point #1.

    3) Ok, I squeezed in one more. To the best of my knowledge, all modern monotheists are Abrahamic. They all worship their BOOK in place of their God. If you want to have a meaningful discussion with a non-Christian, stop quoting that BOOK – it means nothing to a non-Christian. Give me the LOGIC – “Because the Bible tells me so” is a non-answer despite what the popular hymn says.

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