Eight of the Most Significant Struggles Pastors Face

Before me are handwritten notes that I took over a few weeks from various social media interactions, emails, and a few phone calls. The total is nearly 200 separate communications to me. I kept a record of them for one simple reason: I wanted to identify the greatest pain points of pastors today.

In many ways, there are no surprises. Indeed, I doubt most of you will be surprised at my findings. If nothing else, it is a good reminder of how we can help our pastors, and how we can pray for them. Of course, you will quickly see that they are not mutually exclusive. They are listed in the order of frequency I noted.

  1. Criticism and conflict. I do have a few observations about this number one issue. First, it seems to be growing, and pastors seem to be experiencing greater challenges. Second, most of the issues of conflict are not doctrinal issues. Indeed, most are trivial issues. Finally, very few pastors are equipped and trained to deal with the steady stream of critics and crises.
  2. Family problems. Many pastors struggle with expectations by church members of their spouses or children. Others struggle with finding time for their families. Many pastors’ families struggle with the “glass house” syndrome.
  3. Stress. The pastor’s life is one of emotional highs and lows. It includes critics and adoring fans. Expectations from church members can be unreasonable. The very nature of a pastor’s call into ministry can lend itself to seemingly unending stress.
  4. Depression. Every time I write about this topic, I hear from countless pastors and staff. Depression is pervasive in pastoral ministry. And it is often the “secret” problem.
  5. Burnout. Local church ministry can attract two broad types of persons: the lazy and the workaholic. Accountability is often low, and it can be easy to get away with little work, or to work 70 plus hours a week. I see more of the latter than the former.
  6. Sexual problems. These problems are most often in one of two categories: pornography or marital unfaithfulness.
  7. Financial problems. Most of the world hears about the few pastors who make huge salaries. The reality is that the majority of pastors struggle financially.
  8. Time management. Expectations of pastors can be unrealistic. Pastors are often expected to attend multiple meetings, to visit countless congregants, to prepare sermons with excellence, to provide ongoing strategic leadership, to conduct weddings and funerals, and to be involved in the community. Many pastors don’t know how or when to say “no.” And many are not good at delegating, or they really don’t have anyone who can handle some of their responsibilities.

Most pastors love their callings. Most pastors enjoy most of what they do in ministry. And most pastors wouldn’t change their role if they could. Still, many pastors have ongoing challenges and struggles. And many would gladly receive help from church members, a word of encouragement from most anyone, and the knowledge that others are praying for them.

What do you think of the eight struggles I noted? What would you add to this list?

Posted on March 1, 2014


With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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140 Comments

  • Jess Alford says on

    For me, I think stress is the ruthless killer. I always thought I could handle anything, but after 35 years of stress in the ministry I think I have finally fallen victim to this invisible foe. I never want to ever pastor again, but if God lays it on my heart to pastor again, I will. So far he hasn’t, and I will not. After being on the battlefield for 35 years wallowing in the mud, blood, and beer not counting all the death and sickness I’ve had to face, I will at every opportunity run from stress, but many times, I just don’t have the opportunity. I always thought I was trained well enough to deal with stress, I’ve discovered if you truly care about people and the ministry you will have stress and a lot of it. After the first five years in the ministry, I had to toss my training out the window. LOL

  • Jeff Glenn says on

    I struggle with Number 4 on this list. The reason has already been mentioned: spiritual apathy; outside and inside the church.

  • Mark Dance says on

    One theme that is woven throughout Dr Rainer’s blog and our comments is EXPECTATIONS. I wonder how much of this pressure comes from the pews and how much of it comes from the pulpit (ie: self-imposed)? Although every church and pastor is different, I wonder if we (pastors) are not creating the vortex of workaholism that we are getting sucked into? I personally have created more unrealistic expectations for myself and ministry than my members have? Anybody else have that problem??

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Good question Mark.

      • It may be that as pastors we know from an operational standpoint what needs to be done in order to promote a “lead by example” atmosphere. A saying I had in my office was “a pastor doesn’t merely point the way he leads you in it” If the church doesn’t see a sense of urgency and work ethic in their pastor, they will not sense the urgency to be involved. The problem comes when we as pastors bite off more than we can chew. IMO

    • Mark,
      Once again, I believe the “heroic leader” paradigm plays into this. Why do we set those expectations? Perhaps two reasons: First, we likely know are considered the “hero,” and that we are expected to have all the answers to all the problems, or at least now where to go to fix them. “It comes with the turf,” so to speak. This is untenable on the surface, but it is a standard operating principle of most churches I’ve been associated with over the past 30 years. Second, and in ways more problematic, we pastors (and staff) have a felt need to be the ‘hero.” Our servant gifts ping off the charts when we do fix something, our pastor gifts ping off the charts when we successfully protect the flock, and our mercy gifts ping off the charts when we hold a dying hand. These are all good things that pastors do, but the spiritual rush can be intoxicating. We bring it on ourselves by not training our people that shared ministry is the best ministry. I don’t have to be the one to fix everything, protect every person, or hold every hand if I’ve trained my flock to do so effectively. Perhaps we fail to do this because of the intoxicating rush we feel when we do it ourselves. Perhaps we just need the words of appreciation that follow. In response to your question, Mark, perhaps the issue comes from both directions linked to our peoples’ image of the hero-pastor and our own self image as “heroes.”

      • Mark Dance says on

        You are right about the intoxicating effect of ministry.

        Maybe that is why RG3 keeps getting hurt so often? He is better than his own running backs, so he tries to run in too many plays.

    • David Swofford says on

      Mark,
      You are right about this. I went through burnout after serving a church for fifteen years. During that time we relocated and went through transitions in our worship style, our discipleship strategy, and our decision-making process. It took everything I had to give. The church nearly tripled in attendance, but I left feeling like failure. I have been away from that situation now for more than two years, and I am realizing that I put a lot more pressure on myself than anyone else put on me. Through the help of my wife and a good Christian counselor I am learning that my value is not in what I do but in who I am- a child of God. Ephesians 4 teaches that God gives pastors as gifts to the church. My hope and prayer is that more churches will learn to treasure their pastors.

      • Mark Dance says on

        Thank you for sharing that David. That unfortunately is a common self-curse among pastors like us, and is not easy to see when you are in the middle of ministry.

  • Thom,
    As long as we continue to operate on the “heroic leader” paradigm with pastoral leadership these actions/reactions will continue to be a debilitating issue for them (and their staff). A great article by long-time leadership professor, Margaret Wheatley, describes the effect of this issue (http://www.margaretwheatley.com/articles/Leadership-in-Age-of-Complexity.pdf) on both leaders and followers. While it occurs in the business world all too often, in the church comprised of Spirit-led believers who need to express spiritual leadership it is truly tragic. Good leaders are being decimated by this and good potential leaders are being underutilized or even ignored. This is particularly true for millennials today.

  • Jeannette Solimine says on

    I agree with all eight, Thom. I would add the complications for many of us of moving (uprooting) ourselves from one community to another, and then trying to become a part of the new community as we break ties with the old. This can be especially hard when we move into small towns and small churches. It takes time (years) to fit in, and our congregations don’t always give us the time we need to establish ourselves in the community before demanding that we “grow” the church, influence the community, and return them to what they were 40 years ago.

  • FaithatFaith says on

    This also applies to the other pastors at the church as well as the Senior pastor. The youth, children, preschool and college pastors have as many if not more expected from them whether anyone realizes it or not. They need to all be prayed for and led.

    • Thom Rainer says on

      For sure.

    • So true! Speaking from experience not only do youth pastors and their wives have to deal with expectations of the flock but more so the heavy burden of dealing with the expectations and criticisms of the lead pastor. Congregations are often clueless to what their youth pastor and wife is having to deal with behind the scenes in that regard.

  • Sometimes words cannot express what the heart is going through. Thank you for this fresh reminder that our struggles are not foreign to others.

  • Steve Pryor says on

    Great job. From a nonpastor, can I ask if #4 is woven into most of the rest? In other words, is it either a root cause, outcome, or coincidal with the other issues? If so, does the SBC offer counseling specifically aimed @ pastors struggling w depression?

    I would think being an effective pastor would be incredibly difficult, when depression is in the mix.
    Thanks

    • Thom Rainer says on

      Thanks Steve. You are right. In fact, several of the struggled are interrelated. Some state levels of the SBC offer such help, and it is getting more attention at the national level.

      • Mark Dance says on

        Steve – As Dr Rainer mentioned here, there are some SBC initiatives under development to help pastors and members with mental illness in general and depression in particular. I explained some of it in the comments in Wednesdays blog about depression. There is much work to do. Stay tuned friends.

  • Tom Rush says on

    Thanks Thom, well said. I’m grateful to pastor a congregation that understands this for the most part and they are very supportive. That has not been the case in previous ministries. The expectations are always high (and should be) but sometimes very unrealistic. I once counseled a fellow pastor who had ended his ministry on the heels of having an adulterous relationship. He said he was “glad” because now that he was out of the ministry he’d have more time to spend with his children (of course that turned out not to be the case). A church should give the time to a pastor to care for his family but if they don’t the pastor must “take” that time anyway. God Bless, Tom

  • Thom thanks for your post and you’re right on target! After 35 years in ministry and presently serving in a local body that cares for us as ministers and with a Senior Pastor that cares deeply and does his best to look out for his Team is such a blessing. I hurt for those that do not have a network or accountability to lean on in times of struggles. So thankful as well for my son who also serves in a church ministry that accountability and network is established. Thx Thom for reminding for us I trust each of us will heed your words. Every blessing…

  • Thank you, Dr. Rainer, for your continued heart beat for the church & the pastors that lead them. These too is one of my great concerns & passions. Continue the great work, sir! Blessings to you & your family.

  • Many pastor deal with expectations to grow their church or preach like so and so. This can lead to insecurity in their calling as a pastor when those expectations aren’t met. It all comes down following the Lord’s leading and timing and faithfully serving the congregation he has placed you in.

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