Before me are handwritten notes that I took over a few weeks from various social media interactions, emails, and a few phone calls. The total is nearly 200 separate communications to me. I kept a record of them for one simple reason: I wanted to identify the greatest pain points of pastors today.
In many ways, there are no surprises. Indeed, I doubt most of you will be surprised at my findings. If nothing else, it is a good reminder of how we can help our pastors, and how we can pray for them. Of course, you will quickly see that they are not mutually exclusive. They are listed in the order of frequency I noted.
- Criticism and conflict. I do have a few observations about this number one issue. First, it seems to be growing, and pastors seem to be experiencing greater challenges. Second, most of the issues of conflict are not doctrinal issues. Indeed, most are trivial issues. Finally, very few pastors are equipped and trained to deal with the steady stream of critics and crises.
- Family problems. Many pastors struggle with expectations by church members of their spouses or children. Others struggle with finding time for their families. Many pastors’ families struggle with the “glass house” syndrome.
- Stress. The pastor’s life is one of emotional highs and lows. It includes critics and adoring fans. Expectations from church members can be unreasonable. The very nature of a pastor’s call into ministry can lend itself to seemingly unending stress.
- Depression. Every time I write about this topic, I hear from countless pastors and staff. Depression is pervasive in pastoral ministry. And it is often the “secret” problem.
- Burnout. Local church ministry can attract two broad types of persons: the lazy and the workaholic. Accountability is often low, and it can be easy to get away with little work, or to work 70 plus hours a week. I see more of the latter than the former.
- Sexual problems. These problems are most often in one of two categories: pornography or marital unfaithfulness.
- Financial problems. Most of the world hears about the few pastors who make huge salaries. The reality is that the majority of pastors struggle financially.
- Time management. Expectations of pastors can be unrealistic. Pastors are often expected to attend multiple meetings, to visit countless congregants, to prepare sermons with excellence, to provide ongoing strategic leadership, to conduct weddings and funerals, and to be involved in the community. Many pastors don’t know how or when to say “no.” And many are not good at delegating, or they really don’t have anyone who can handle some of their responsibilities.
Most pastors love their callings. Most pastors enjoy most of what they do in ministry. And most pastors wouldn’t change their role if they could. Still, many pastors have ongoing challenges and struggles. And many would gladly receive help from church members, a word of encouragement from most anyone, and the knowledge that others are praying for them.
What do you think of the eight struggles I noted? What would you add to this list?
Posted on March 1, 2014
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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140 Comments
I enjoy your articles. They provide valuable insight into the struggles many in ministry face today. I do believe one other struggle that many face is the ability to carve out time for personal time with God. A time for individual spiritual growth. Thanks for your thoughts.
Thanks Senior Pastor Thom,
Thanks for defining these . Sometimes we don’t know or cannot clarify what is wrong with us.You are right on all eight.
Thanks for the timely insights. I also see these same struggles taking place in ministers who have denominational and ecclesiastical offices, as well. The idea that we place such great responsibility upon one person, and then expect them to perform at the same high level of proficiency and effectiveness all of the time is absolutely absurd. It so easily becomes a tool that the enemy of the soul can use against God’s servants in great measure. We must strongly urge our churches and leaders to find the best ways for them to gain balance in their life, and then we must stop expecting perfection from them.
You mention that “very few pastors are equipped and trained to deal with the steady stream of critics. . . .” Can you recommend some resources to help equip us pastors in this area?
Dwight: i was speaking of formal training. Do you readers have any favorite books or other resources to help Dwight?
I mentioned three books in my comment posted at 7;07 this morning (just a little ways above these comments). These books have very useful advice on how to respond to critics and how to pick your battles in ministry.
Thanks for the help Ken.
Another helpful book is Your Perfect Right
I haven’t read all the responses, but I agree and identify with all 8. I would add one – creating space and time for meaningful prayer. This has been a 30 yr struggle for me and I am still trying to figure out how to pray in a meaningful way – more than just the unending list of sickness and struggle.
Stress is the common component. Life in the ministry is a life of emotional stress. How you deal with stress in a healthy way is essential. It would be a great discussion to consider practical ways a pastor can be proactive to overcome the effects of stress. Just being “spiritual” may not be enough. There are some psychological issues that must be stressed. My question to the readers is what daily habits can a pastor develop to build on stress rather than be destroyed by it.
If a Pastor is struggling with marital faithfulness and/or Sexual issues, He should resign IMMEDIATELY.
He has NO business in a leadership position. PERIOD.
As a pastor that is older, 70, in a smaller church, 25-30, I find times where I lack support. I have been at the same church for 10 years and we are experiencing some small growth. Years ago, when I first went into the pastorate, I had older men that served as mentors. Now that I am older, all of the mentors are gone. It seem that there is no one to “bounce” things off of. The church I pastor is part of a very liberal denomination but I am able to faithfully proclaim God’s Word. The church seldom gives to denominational headquarters. I am licensed as a SBC pastor but not part of any SBC activities.
Thank you for your faithfulness Roy.
For me, depression sets in amidst conflict and criticism. There is one person, in particular, that toxic. I cannot please them. Every visit or conversation with them will start with 10-15 minutes of angry criticism, followed by life stories, and ends with me praying for them and telling them I love them. But for 2-3 days afterwards I contemplate resigning. But God has been faithful. I am criticized no more than He was and his graces to me in the form of an awesome wife and gospel friends work. He is worth it.
I am praying for you right now Cody.
Those 8 are very significant in the life of a pastor. My father is a pastor (83 yrs old) and gave very wise counsel when God called me into the ministry. He said I would face many struggles & temptations but that I should remember who was leading my life. Regardless of what I would face, always stay focused on the ministry of God’s kingdom and pray for the strength that only He can give. That little bit of fatherly advice has gone a long way in helping me through many issues in pastoral ministry. Remember, Jesus’ statement in Luke 9, …take up your cross…, it’s not easy but I believe the rewards far outweigh our struggles.
Regarding church conflict, I highly recommend three books that have helped me: “Antagonists in the Church”, by Kenneth Haughk, “Well-Intentioned Dragons”, by Marshall Shelley”, and “Leading Your Church Through Conflict and Resolution”, edited by Marshall Shelley. They give helpful advice on how to identify causes of conflict and deal with them in a firm but loving manner. The third book I mentioned has a very informative chapter by Andre Bustanoby entitled, “Wars You Can’t Win”. It’s a good reminder that some situations are simply beyond the pastor’s control.
I’ve been a pastor’s wife for over 20 years. Every body struggles with these issues not just pastors. The main problem is that people put pastors’s on a pedestal. It’s when the pastor steps UP on the pedestal where the problem starts. I was called “First Lady” the other day. I am not a first lady, I am a sinner just like you, my connection with God is no different than yours. It’s your choice, do you want to become a mature christian or sit on a pedestal? Go God!! Be transparent & be the same person at church that you are at home!!