“Pastor, I have a rat in my house. Please come get it!”
It’s a true story. I was the pastor. And I was over 30 minutes away from the senior adult who made the “request.” I tried to call several other church members on the phone to get them to help.
I could find no one. Strange.
I chased a rat in the senior adult’s home for over an hour.
I love pastors and church staff. I love hearing their stories. And, on occasion, I like to provide a bit of levity. Such has been my theme this week.
Today, I let these pastors and church staff persons speak for themselves. I made minor modifications to a few so the story does not inadvertently reveal the church members. I don’t want the pastor to get fired. No comments on my part are necessary.
- “A church member asked, during the Lord’s Supper, if we could have a prayer for her dog that had died earlier in the week.”
- “A church member called, telling me her neighbors sheep were out in the road. Of course, I was supposed to help since I was her shepherd.”
- “I officiated a funeral where the family did the wave and hit beach balls during the service.”
- “A lady called me to let me know her son-in-law wasn’t praying long enough before his bed time. She felt I needed to counsel him.”
- “A church member was a funeral home director. He called me frequently to help him pick up just-deceased bodies.”
- “A church member called to request I euthanize an injured rabbit.”
- “I was asked by a church member to bury a dog.”
- “I got a call from a church member asking me to inform a lady she has grandkids she didn’t know about.”
- “I was asked to baptize a body at a funeral.”
- “A lady brought a chirping bird into a worship service and asked me to ignore it.”
- “I was visiting a member of our church in the hospital. He insisted I hold his kidney stone. I was young, so I did.”
- “A church member asked me to do a funeral for his horse.”
- “A deacon, after checking on a clogged toilet in the men’s room, told the pastor, ‘You need to go to the men’s room with me. You’ve got to see this!’”
- “A church member asked me to put her mother’s funeral on my calendar. She wasn’t dead.”
- “I was asked to wear a crushed velvet hat for a wedding.”
- “A church member asked me to do an imitation of a character from The Princess Bride during the wedding ceremony.”
I have no doubt these stories are true. I’ve had many weird requests made of me as well.
Let me hear from you.
Posted on May 4, 2016
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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196 Comments
This is probably not as rare as I think it is, but I attended a funeral of a church member where everyone wore football jerseys and they played the University of Alabama fight song as the casket was rolled out of the chapel.
Gives a whole new definition to “roll tide”
Seems normative to me.
I have done #16 during rehearsal. And most of us have probably thought about #14 for someone. Hopefully, just for fun and not seriously
No comment other than no comment.
We live in a farming community. I was asked if I would find a new home for a family’s pet cow… contingent upon it not being slaughtered.
I was unsuccessful. It was UDDERly impossible!
I get it.
Went on a hospital visit, when I knocked on the door, the lady I was visiting was on the portable toilet – back of gown wide open. I told the nurse she was with that I would wait, but the lady said “oh no, honey. Come on in”
So I did. And we had a twenty minute conversation.
#scarredforlife
Bad moon rising.
One Monday morning, I was deep in study. A group of our senior ladies had gone fishing at a pond in the community. One of them called me excited, “Pastor, we have a problem and need your help, can you come down to the pond? It is an emergency.” I told them I would be there in a moment. I got down there and run to the pond thinking one of those dear saints is having an emergency. I get to the pond and everything looks ok. All the ladies are fishing and having a good time. The lady who called me says, “Pastor, I threw my line out there and the pole slipped out of my hand, can you go out there and get it for me?” I looked and the pole was floating in the middle of the pond. I happened to have my own pole in the car so I threw a line out there with a hook and caught the pole, recovered it and gave it to her. Needless to say, this kind of situation was not covered in my seminary training. They still laugh about the emergency today!
Redefines emergency.
This didn’t happen to me personally, but I was in a service where a visitor came forward during the invitation and asked the pastor to recommend a good place to take his family for lunch. They were new in town.
I was asked to keep the cremated remains of a church member while the family made arrangements to have the ashes buried. I declined.
I guess the public invitation is alive and well.
I was asked by the son of a man I was burying to pray that, if it was God’s will, that his father be raised from the dead like Lazarus.
And?
My husband (the pastor) was asked to spend the night with a church member’s deceased mother’s body at the church the night before the funeral. My husband said yes but made our youth pastor stay with him! 🙂
Yep. That’s what youth pastors are supposed to do.
Although not exactly, but have been asked 1,2,4,6,7,11,and 13 (more than once). But was handed a BB gun and asked if I would take the bat out that was hanging in the middle of the sanctuary.
And?
I was helping an elderly member get out of bed after she broke her ankle. As I got her halfway up, she cut one…loud. She looked at me and said, “Oh, Jesus. I’m sorry.” Then we both collapsed in the bed and couldn’t stop laughing. It was a scene, man.
That one could’ve been trouble: Pastor in bed with elderly woman laughing hysterically.
On the dark side, I was asked to attend an intervention (that concluded with breaking up a meth lab). On the lighter side, I did a medieval-themed cosplay wedding (much of the family regularly participated in renaissance faires). I really didn’t mind that one, especially since we did it in a field rather than the church. I wore a monk’s habit provided by the family, and used Shakespearean English for the ceremony. All the wedding party and families (including parents of the groom, father was a deacon) were in costume, as well as at least half the attendees.
Sometimes I think I would make a good monk.
My husbands first appointment was an associate at a large church in a city. The ministerial association would drop off church information to people who just moved into the community so my husband took his turn. There was no answer at one house so he left a small bag with the info and his business card. A couple of weeks later we got a call at 2:00 in the morning from one of our parishioners who happened to be the county prosecuting attorney. A drug raid was conducted at a house, the only thing found were drugs, several thousand dollars in cash, and my husbands card. The police were ready to come pick him up but thankfully the attorney vouched for him!
One of our member requested during the prayer meeting if I could pray for Michael Jackson after he died.
Bad timing.