“Pastor, I have a rat in my house. Please come get it!”
It’s a true story. I was the pastor. And I was over 30 minutes away from the senior adult who made the “request.” I tried to call several other church members on the phone to get them to help.
I could find no one. Strange.
I chased a rat in the senior adult’s home for over an hour.
I love pastors and church staff. I love hearing their stories. And, on occasion, I like to provide a bit of levity. Such has been my theme this week.
Today, I let these pastors and church staff persons speak for themselves. I made minor modifications to a few so the story does not inadvertently reveal the church members. I don’t want the pastor to get fired. No comments on my part are necessary.
- “A church member asked, during the Lord’s Supper, if we could have a prayer for her dog that had died earlier in the week.”
- “A church member called, telling me her neighbors sheep were out in the road. Of course, I was supposed to help since I was her shepherd.”
- “I officiated a funeral where the family did the wave and hit beach balls during the service.”
- “A lady called me to let me know her son-in-law wasn’t praying long enough before his bed time. She felt I needed to counsel him.”
- “A church member was a funeral home director. He called me frequently to help him pick up just-deceased bodies.”
- “A church member called to request I euthanize an injured rabbit.”
- “I was asked by a church member to bury a dog.”
- “I got a call from a church member asking me to inform a lady she has grandkids she didn’t know about.”
- “I was asked to baptize a body at a funeral.”
- “A lady brought a chirping bird into a worship service and asked me to ignore it.”
- “I was visiting a member of our church in the hospital. He insisted I hold his kidney stone. I was young, so I did.”
- “A church member asked me to do a funeral for his horse.”
- “A deacon, after checking on a clogged toilet in the men’s room, told the pastor, ‘You need to go to the men’s room with me. You’ve got to see this!’”
- “A church member asked me to put her mother’s funeral on my calendar. She wasn’t dead.”
- “I was asked to wear a crushed velvet hat for a wedding.”
- “A church member asked me to do an imitation of a character from The Princess Bride during the wedding ceremony.”
I have no doubt these stories are true. I’ve had many weird requests made of me as well.
Let me hear from you.
Posted on May 4, 2016
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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What am I getting into? Maybe people going to seminary shouldn’t read these… 😉
You’ll survive!
While on a missions trip to India, I was asked to pray a prayer of healing over a sick water buffalo.
For my very first wedding, I was asked to dig the bride’s ring out of the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.
While doing a house visit, the man I was visiting asked me to put his socks on. Let’s just say tons of fungus! Still scarred!
My husband, a pastor, was asked by a woman in the church if he would perform a marriage ceremony for her father and a woman he knew, so that she could get his health benefits. They lived in different states and neither of them had any plans of moving. After explaining what marriage actually is, he politely declined to participate.
I heard about these two funny requests for pastors.
One pastor received a phone call from a member at 2:00am.
Pastor: Hello
Member: Pastor, it’s me, Bob. I can’t get to sleep.
Pastor: What on earth do you want me to do about it?
Member: I was wondering, could you start preaching?
I heard of another pastor who received a call at Christmas season by a Mom in the church. She asked him to be Santa Claus when her young child called later that evening to inform what he wanted for Christmas.
Elderly member asked me to please come burry her deceased cat with a few of it’s favorite items. I unwisely told her I would before clarifying what the items were – a full sized pillow, a COMFORTER, a few toys and two small blankets. It filled a leaf bag to the brim. Largest hole I’ve ever dug.
1. Attend a ghost hunting session – I declined
2. Herd a wayward cow.
The Country Parson by George Herbert. 2016 edition.
We recently had a funeral at the church. I and several other pastors were chatting in the back at the end of the service. A fellow pastor from another local church was involved with the funeral and called the family up together around the casket. Apparently, the daughter of the deceased she wanted to make her live-in relationship with her man right. So the pastor married them with the family gathered around the open casket directly behind him. Weird
My husband (the pastor) did a funeral in which the family insisted that a local Elvis impersonator do all the special music. “Elvis” wore the white rhinestone outfit.
The family of the bride in an upcoming wedding called our home during dinner and asked if we would “run over and count the pews in the sanctuary.”
I walked into one of our churches one day to find my husband sitting on the floor in the kitchen scraping rust from the coils on the back of the refrigerator. I just looked at him. He raised his head and said, “They never taught us this in seminary……”
Now there’s a good song to sing if someone asks you to do a pet funeral: “You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog”. (Sorry. I just couldn’t resist!)
HA! My sister asked me to do the “Maw-widge” (Princess Bride) thing for her wedding, too!
It actually went over pretty well, but I was really scared no one would get it and thought I was goofing off at my sister’s wedding.
I hope whoever else had to do it had it go as well. It’s funny that others were asked. (Unless I said that in a previous comment I made and don’t remember, and you are telling my story).