Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. I was first surprised at how many responded. But I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors and other church leaders.
Many of the comments related to using the Bible too much or to being too evangelistic. I should make those a blog post by themselves.
I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher. I left off many great comments to keep this post manageable. I’ve only made minor wording changes to some of these. For the most part, I received these quotes just as you are seeing them. The parenthetical words after each comment represent my off-the-cuff commentary.
- “We need a small group for cat lovers.” (I guess they could serve Meow Mix as a snack.)
- “You need to change your voice.” (Yes ma’am. I’ll try to have that done by next week.)
- “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.” (Yep. You don’t want too many of those hipsters in your church.)
- “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible. (I should have known that’s what Jesus and Paul wore.)
- “Your socks are distracting.” (I understand. I’ll stop wearing socks.)
- “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.” (It’s going to get really weird by the time they turn 70 years old.)
- “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.” (I don’t understand. They match the towels in the men’s restroom.)
- “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.” (So, you will be leaving the church, I presume.)
- “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.” (Major medical announcement! New carcinogen discovered!)
- “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” (There could be a reason for that.)
- “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)
- “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)
- “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)
- (To a pastor who married interracially). “You are living in sin. You shouldn’t be married to each other.” (That one is not worthy of commentary.)
- “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” (It’s better than Meow Mix.)
- “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.” (I understand that one. Bacon rules.)
- “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.” (At least not simultaneously.)
- “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” (My guess is that it is still functional.)
- “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?” (Be patient. I will be preaching a six-week expository series on him in the fall.)
- “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.” (Yes we do. They are right next to the spittoons for your chewing tobacco.)
- “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!” (Who needs a clock when I have you?)
- “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” (We thought you could jump up and down after you ate them to finish the job.)
- “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.” (That’s because you are on that side.)
- “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.” (I understand. It’s in the same verse that describes his pitchfork and horns.)
- “Your sermon needed more calories.” (Okay. I’ll feed it one of those donuts in the foyer.)
Pastors and other church leaders must have great patience and strength. They are faced with these and many other comments and demands every day. I love these church leaders, and I thank God for them.
Share with me what comments you have received. And tell me what you think of the twenty-five comments that were shared with me.
Posted on August 19, 2015
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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615 Comments
From someone in leadership: “I don’t see why we have to bend over backwards to try to reach the lost”
My second Sunday preaching at a church and I had a women come up to me and ask if I could put in more bullet points because it would really help her when she is taking notes. I let her know that if she remembered and applied one point then I would see that as a successful sermon!
I’ve been a youth pastor at three different churches and in each church at least one parent said “You need to talk to my kid and fix them.” And of course these parents would attend church, at most, once a month. From talking to others that seems to be a fairly common occurrence.
I love my church and truly think these two comments were made without thinking… Lord knows I have been guilty of doing that before myself! But here are two that stand out to me.
#1. (After a guest preacher finished.) “It’s nice to hear from a REAL preacher every once and a while.
#2. (After a large uptick in baptisms) “The water for all these baptisms cost too much money.”
… and I’ll throw in a comment made to my wife for free “Your (one year old) daughter shouldn’t be wearing that dress, I can see her diaper.”
“Pastor, I’m really upset that no one takes my ideas and suggestions seriously, and we’re not talking about issues that really matter. Oh, and I haven’t been able to receive the Eucharist in over a year because of my gluten allergy.” This from someone who attends about four times a year in a congregation that routinely engages tough issues and that offers gluten-free host every time we celebrate the Eucharist.
While I understand the objection to many of the comments listed, I don’t understand the problem with, “We need a small group for cat lovers.” I don’t see creating a small group Bible study for them as any different than forming one for people with other interests, or based on age or gender. I would just be happy to have more people in the congregation who would like to have fellowship time together.
On your topic, as the pastor’s wife, I have been told my wardrobe is “boring.” I asked if the man was offering to take me shopping. I have been asked if my hair will ever be a “normal color.” I simply replied “No.” Then there was the poor guy who looked at me and asked if that was a “baby bump” he saw. (Keep in mind I’m mid-40s.) I gave him my most cheerful smile and replied, “Nope. Just fat.” The expression on his wife’s face clearly said he would be having an unpleasant ride home.
Apparently people feel they can say anything they want to pastors and their wives. I often pray for them…
I’m neither a pastor nor a pastor’s wife, but I am a Sunday School teacher and active in our congregation. As to the “small group for cat lovers”, I can absolutely imagine that becoming one of our “Connect Groups”. There is already one for people who are interested in travel, a group that shares desserts at their gatherings, a group for couples with kids that includes childcare at the church while the parents gather at alternating homes, a group for people with chronic health issues, one for those dealing with grief and loss, and even one for men who are interested in home-brewing beer…why not cat lovers, too! 🙂
Or… crazy thought here…. a person who likes cats could invite someone else who like cats over for lunch and watch cat videos and maybe even read the bible together just for fun? Why does the church need to formally sanction every little gathering of believers?
One Sunday morning after worship, a church member came up to me, wagging his finger and yelled, “Your husband keeps preaching that we shouldn’t gossip. You tell him that we gossip about him because WE LOVE THIS CHURCH!”
I replied calmly, “I don’t take messages for my husband. You tell him yourself.”
In more than 20 years of ministry, I have heard and seen some pretty strange things. Here are just a few:
1) (When I began ministry as a youth pastor) “We (the youth group) don’t like the way you preach to us all the time! Our parents don’t like it either!” (Of the 30+ youth, only 6 kids had parents attend the church – and 3 were my own kids!)
2) When being interviewed for the senior pastor position at a church, the pastor search committee said that I was “too intelligent” for their church.
3) In a monthly Deacon’s meeting at a church I was pastoring, I was informed that a church member did not like the fact that I sometimes preached past 12 noon on Sunday mornings. The deacons informed me that this member had to be home by 12:10 in order to maintain his lunch schedule. The church member eventually began leaving at noon whether I was finished or not.
4) After a great revival with a very charismatic preacher, an older member of a church I pastored once told me that one day I may be as good a preacher as the revivalist. This didn’t bother me so much until I found out that this preacher was arrested two weeks later for various illegal activities.
As many have said, members of the churches can be cruel in what they may say at times but we as pastors should remember that our goal is not being “people pleasers” nor are we ones who only want to “tickle the ears”. For all of my pastor friends, “PREACH THE WORD!!!”
I got the ‘too intelligent’ comment from one of my former school principals when I was getting my education degree. All I could think was, “Well, that explains a lot about this school…”
” the pastor search committee said that I was “too intelligent” for their church.”
I would take their word for it and decline the position, if offered.
The best complaint I’ve heard was when someone asked us to turn the drums down.
An old friend of mine, Father Walter Hatchley, went to speak at a women’s meeting at another church in the city. Before his presentation, the ladies (average age 85) had a little business meeting. Their leader announced that, sadly, they were going to have to increase the dues, so that they could afford better speakers.
Am I the only one who thinks the direction the TP is on the roll is, in fact, a very very important detail?
No. 🙂 But I would never bug our pastor about it. I know who to talk to on the trustees committee. LOL.
Only once have I ever taken a bathroom issue to the (mostly male) trustees, and that was over a fluorescent light that was flickering dangerously enough that it was a migraine/epilepsy hazard. Sounds trivial, but as a migraine sufferer and knowing others at our church had similar health issues, I felt it ought to at least be mentioned.
Our janitor is a gift from God. I am so sorry for the posters who got rotten comments on their work.
At our last church, we had to live in the parsonage that was adjacent to the church parking lot. We planned to have a trunk or treat in the church parking lot at Halloween. Several church members raised the concern that they didn’t think it was safe enough to have an event in the church parking lot. We responded, “Oh…you mean this area isn’t safe? Does that mean it isn’t safe enough for us to live in the parsonage you guys have made as part of our salary?”. That shut people up very quickly.