Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. I was first surprised at how many responded. But I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors and other church leaders.
Many of the comments related to using the Bible too much or to being too evangelistic. I should make those a blog post by themselves.
I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher. I left off many great comments to keep this post manageable. I’ve only made minor wording changes to some of these. For the most part, I received these quotes just as you are seeing them. The parenthetical words after each comment represent my off-the-cuff commentary.
- “We need a small group for cat lovers.” (I guess they could serve Meow Mix as a snack.)
- “You need to change your voice.” (Yes ma’am. I’ll try to have that done by next week.)
- “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.” (Yep. You don’t want too many of those hipsters in your church.)
- “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible. (I should have known that’s what Jesus and Paul wore.)
- “Your socks are distracting.” (I understand. I’ll stop wearing socks.)
- “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.” (It’s going to get really weird by the time they turn 70 years old.)
- “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.” (I don’t understand. They match the towels in the men’s restroom.)
- “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.” (So, you will be leaving the church, I presume.)
- “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.” (Major medical announcement! New carcinogen discovered!)
- “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” (There could be a reason for that.)
- “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)
- “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)
- “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)
- (To a pastor who married interracially). “You are living in sin. You shouldn’t be married to each other.” (That one is not worthy of commentary.)
- “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” (It’s better than Meow Mix.)
- “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.” (I understand that one. Bacon rules.)
- “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.” (At least not simultaneously.)
- “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” (My guess is that it is still functional.)
- “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?” (Be patient. I will be preaching a six-week expository series on him in the fall.)
- “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.” (Yes we do. They are right next to the spittoons for your chewing tobacco.)
- “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!” (Who needs a clock when I have you?)
- “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” (We thought you could jump up and down after you ate them to finish the job.)
- “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.” (That’s because you are on that side.)
- “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.” (I understand. It’s in the same verse that describes his pitchfork and horns.)
- “Your sermon needed more calories.” (Okay. I’ll feed it one of those donuts in the foyer.)
Pastors and other church leaders must have great patience and strength. They are faced with these and many other comments and demands every day. I love these church leaders, and I thank God for them.
Share with me what comments you have received. And tell me what you think of the twenty-five comments that were shared with me.
Posted on August 19, 2015
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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615 Comments
I am both amused and horrified by some of the comments that you get from church attendees. I’m not a pastor; I’ve just been going through my mind while reading these to make sure I’ve never said anything inappropriate or insulting. I have heard comments from others while sitting in pews, though. Recently, I was at a crossroads thinking about either going into ministry or getting my Ph.D in Biblical Studies. In the end, Biblical Studies is more of my calling. Research is good and doesn’t criticize what I’m wearing, ha ha! This certainly gives me more reason to respect clergy; you have hard jobs but you do such wonderful work. I’m glad to see that you do not get discouraged easily!
Thanks for being a great encourager to pastors. We need more like you.
I’m not a pastor, but you all have my deepest appreciation and sympathy!
We had one elderly gentleman stand up in the middle of “open worship” time to suggest that the congregation take up a collection to buy the music minister a tie.
I did spend a short time with a missionary organization in the Philippines many years ago. In one of the most destitute cities in the world, an older missionary lady stated one day that a ministry needed to be started for all the homeless cats in Manila!
Thanks, all, for the laughs graciously offered.
I’m sure glad this site popped up on my Facebook page. It gave me an afternoon of laughs! I’ve been secretary at a Baptist church over 40 years & could write a book on what people have done to me!
I also have to add, this same lady said to me the day after my wife had a miscarriage, “There must be a major sin in your life for God to take you child.”
I have never come so close to striking anyone in my life.
I used to be a pastor but now serve as a hospice chaplain. I remember a comment made to me about my daughter who was 16 years old at the time. I was told the reason she had MS is because she had sin in her life. I, too, had someone tell me I used the Bible too much in my sermons.
JDyer and Nathan: I normally frown on carrying personal battles into the pulpit, but in those situations I think I’d preach a sermon from 2 Corinthians 12 about Paul’s “thorn in the flesh”. God doesn’t always promise healing, and life isn’t always fair even for believers. Those folks are embracing their own form of the “prosperity gospel”, and that kind of heresy needs to be nipped in the bud.
I’d encourage them to read Job. His “friends” said the same thing to him. They were also wrong.
Sorry this will be a bit long.
One Sunday the piano player came up to me and asked, “Brother can you pick my son up from Tyrone’s house after school on Monday?” I was both proud and shocked at her request because I would have never guessed that her son would be allow to have an african american for a friend.
Seeing my shocked look , she said, “Don’t worry we do not let Tyrone come to our house.”
I replied, “I don’t care if you allow Tyrone to come to your house.”
To this she replied,”Brother, do you not know that if Tyrone were to drink out of a cup, sit on a bed or eat off of a plate that I forgot to wash our family could become a bunch of n******.”
I was mortified; however, I also remember thinking to myself, “…and here I thought is was just a result of one’s heredity. I did not know that you could catch it.”
Needless to say, I was gone from the church just a few months later.
Oh. My. Word.
I get the point of the article, but I think it could have been handled just as well without the sarcasm.
So you can make that No. 26 if you want.
Good grief, Alison, lighten up. As a pastor, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. I laughed at both the crazy comments and at Thom’s commentary. You really don’t get the purpose of this article. Thom loves pastors and church staff. He did this to provide us a reprieve from the daily stresses we experience. I was just on the phone with another pastor, and we were having an incredible laugh about this article. I am enjoying this so much, and I will not let you rain on my parade.
Amen, Doug. This is all great fun and humor. Alison just does not get it.
If red is the color of the devil, who’s words are those in my red letter edition bible?
I once preached a sermon on a hot summer day and decided to roll my dress shirt sleeves up a few turns. While I was shaking hands after the service, I was receiving many comments on how the congregation really enjoyed the sermon. I was quite happy and feeling good until one congregant come up to me and said, “next time you preach you better not have your sleeves rolled up!” I responded and said, “why is that?” He told me that I looked like I was about to fight somebody. Without missing a beat, I said “yes sir I am about to fight someone…I am fighting evil…sorry if my forearms distracted you from my sermon.” The pastor of the church, who happened to be standing next to me, wasn’t too pleased by I think the man got my point. So for every sermon I preach, no matter the time of year, I roll my sleeves up. Sometimes the words we say aren’t as important to some as the way we look however if God calls you to preach does it really matter what clothes you have on?
When I was young, some of the older folks might have appreciated that. I can remember preaching at my home church one Sunday, and it was pretty hot that day. I made some comment about the heat to my grandmother and she replied, “If you get too hot, take your coat off. That’s what preachers used to do!” She was right, and they also used to roll up their sleeves. If the lady complains about it, just tell you’re a die-hard traditionalist. 🙂
Said to me after a discussion on racism… “What we do in heaven has nothing to do with what we do in this church!”
Here’s another from the Pastor’s Wife list…
The day my husband was installed in our current church, a woman walked up to me and said, “Well…now that he’s the pastor, don’t be surprised if I drop over to your house unannounced.” (We do not live in a parsonage.) I responded (without thinking,) “Well, if I don’t know you’re coming, don’t be surprised if I don’t answer the door.”
I think she and I were both shocked by my response, because we both started laughing. We get along great now.
Good for you Berta! PERFECT! And that’s what setting boundaries is all about. And notice, these two women have a healthy relationship and I’m a thinking it’s because the two of them know their boundary.
After a particularly difficult deacon meeting my husband was stopped by the chairman of the deacons. The deacon pulled open one side of his jacket to reveal his handgun and said, “Just remember pastors come and go, but deacons stay forever.”
Was the deacon’s last name Soprano, by chance? Yeesh.
Lol. We saw the power of prayer at that church!
After preaching one Sunday morning years back, a woman came up to me and asked, “Were you preaching from a HIV Bible today?” I replied that I was using a NIV since I didn’t have a hazmat suit available.
It took her a second but she finally realized what she said and understood my attempt at humor.