Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. I was first surprised at how many responded. But I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors and other church leaders.
Many of the comments related to using the Bible too much or to being too evangelistic. I should make those a blog post by themselves.
I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher. I left off many great comments to keep this post manageable. I’ve only made minor wording changes to some of these. For the most part, I received these quotes just as you are seeing them. The parenthetical words after each comment represent my off-the-cuff commentary.
- “We need a small group for cat lovers.” (I guess they could serve Meow Mix as a snack.)
- “You need to change your voice.” (Yes ma’am. I’ll try to have that done by next week.)
- “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.” (Yep. You don’t want too many of those hipsters in your church.)
- “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible. (I should have known that’s what Jesus and Paul wore.)
- “Your socks are distracting.” (I understand. I’ll stop wearing socks.)
- “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.” (It’s going to get really weird by the time they turn 70 years old.)
- “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.” (I don’t understand. They match the towels in the men’s restroom.)
- “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.” (So, you will be leaving the church, I presume.)
- “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.” (Major medical announcement! New carcinogen discovered!)
- “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” (There could be a reason for that.)
- “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)
- “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)
- “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)
- (To a pastor who married interracially). “You are living in sin. You shouldn’t be married to each other.” (That one is not worthy of commentary.)
- “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” (It’s better than Meow Mix.)
- “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.” (I understand that one. Bacon rules.)
- “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.” (At least not simultaneously.)
- “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” (My guess is that it is still functional.)
- “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?” (Be patient. I will be preaching a six-week expository series on him in the fall.)
- “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.” (Yes we do. They are right next to the spittoons for your chewing tobacco.)
- “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!” (Who needs a clock when I have you?)
- “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” (We thought you could jump up and down after you ate them to finish the job.)
- “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.” (That’s because you are on that side.)
- “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.” (I understand. It’s in the same verse that describes his pitchfork and horns.)
- “Your sermon needed more calories.” (Okay. I’ll feed it one of those donuts in the foyer.)
Pastors and other church leaders must have great patience and strength. They are faced with these and many other comments and demands every day. I love these church leaders, and I thank God for them.
Share with me what comments you have received. And tell me what you think of the twenty-five comments that were shared with me.
Posted on August 19, 2015
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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I had a friend who was a verger at a cathedral in England. At one point they were hosting a more contemporary band, and he overheard a lady muttering to her friend, “Listen to that awful racket. Jesus will be turning in his grave.”
This was a weird question I asked my Pastor when I was a youth Pastor. It is weird because I had to ask it. Why do you only use scripture to cast doubt on its authencity?
So sad
Just last week I was talking with a member and we were discussing previous sermons and he mentioned one our senior pastor had just preached and said,’ I went up to him after the service and told him, man you had a great topic today, if you would have only come to me I could have given you some really good pointers.” I almost asked how did his black eye go away so quickly but I chose just to laugh it off. ( He is a good friend with a great heart….but lacks a filter.
I once preached a message on the dangers of hell, and stated that “if you die with sin in your life, you will spend eternity in hell.” A man approached me after the service and told me I had to change the way I preached. He said, “you cannot stand in the pulpit and tell people if they sin they are going to hell.” I didn’t change, and he left the church shortly after.
When I reported to my new church, I was told that Mike’s (previous pastor) wife handled vacation bible school. I said, “I’m pretty sure she moved with Mike. Who is going to handle it now?”
That’s funny.
As a deacon we get some pretty weird ones.
Seen a former member of our church in the grocery store. Hey man how are you guys? Well we left because they closed the balcony.. Awe man I’m sorry to hear that. Well we just loved out spot and if they were to open it back up we would pray about coming back..
I live and minister in the UK where the government gives”income support” to working families with low incomes, not surprisingly when we were first in ministry and had young children we were entitled to this help as my salary was very low. One year, in the annual government budget, the level of support was raised. That year the deacon’s board excitedly announced that there was no need to increase my salary as the government had done it for them!
I was once told by my very conservative pastor and father that he would like me to preach on Sunday but he also would like for me to shave my beard. They used to have a policy about facial hair in the pulpit being forbidden. I was a bible college grad, and visiting our home church.
I told him, “pick one”. We had a nice but tense discussion. I did not shave but I did preach. 😉
I got 2 comments written on prayer request cards the week!
One said “Drums and music are too loud. God doesn’t require loudness.” Ha! The other was about an adult Sunday school class whose time is being changed away from Sunday morning because of space issues as a result of rapid growth and the need for that space for a video venue. It said “(name of class) NOT HAPPY. No room. You’ll miss our offerings.”
These are supposed to be our “mature” followers of Christ.
“When are you going to stop preaching on the poor? There are no poor people on America.”
“Last night I burned the names of three people who I want to leave the church.”
This was prayed in my office with a group of men and the visiting preacher before revival service began… “Lord we thank you for the women, because without them we would surely all be homosexual.”
This was said when I was a youth minister. I opened the church gym to allow the neighborhood kids to play basketball for one hour a couple days a week. At the 30 minute mark I would share a devotion with them. A deacon cornered me and asked, “Why are all these N***** in my church?”
“Blacks are allowed here as long as they are not sent by the NAACP to spy on us.” (Exact quote, and no this was not a KKK meeting.)
“God sent me to this church to fix it.”
“I don’t have to love anybody. I don’t even like some of these people how am I going to love them?” (After a messages on loving our brothers and sisters in Christ. This person left the church because I responded that I would be praying for them.)
Sorry if I shared too many. I could go on and on.
After returning from a four year term as a foreign missionary, a member of the church welcomed me with a straight-faced “Welcome back to God’s country.” As if the USA were the new Israel and I returned from some heathen, Gentile land.
A close Pastor friend of mine was told after a particularly convicting sermon by a member of the board “just remember, I don’t come to church to be challenged, I come here to feel good”. Another lady, sick in the hospital and being visited by the Pastor raised herself up and garnered enough strength to inform her ” you need to know…..I have full ability to get you fired”. This woman was not on call committee nor on board of church, this was said during a time in which the Pastor had asked to pray for her. These are two of many sad and appalling statements I have been witness to.
I still smile though at the two very elderly ladies who asked my Pastor friend……”when are you going to wear that cute zebra print skirt again, we just love it, if we were 30 years younger we would join you”!!