NEW RELATED POST: Should Your Church Stop Having a Stand and Greet Time?
If you attend a church regularly, you’ve probably noticed the phenomenon. A guest shows up for a worship service, but he or she never returns. It is, unfortunately, a common issue in many churches.
I did a Twitter poll to ask these first-time guests why they chose not to return to a particular church. While some of the responses were anticipated, I admit being a bit surprised with some of them.
Though my poll is not scientific, it is nevertheless fascinating. Here are the top ten responses in order of frequency.
- Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service. This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response.
- Unfriendly church members. This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it.
- Unsafe and unclean children’s area. This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.
- No place to get information. If your church does not have a clear and obvious place to get information, you probably have lowered the chances of a return visit by half. There should also be someone to greet and assist guests at that information center as well.
- Bad church website. Most of the church guests went to the church website before they attended a worship service. Even if they attended the service after visiting a bad website, they attended with a prejudicial perspective. The two indispensable items guests want on a website are address and times of service. It’s just that basic.
- Poor signage. If you have been attending a church for a few weeks, you forget all about the signage. You don’t need it any more. But guests do. And they are frustrated when it’s not there.
- Insider church language. Most of the respondents were not referring to theological language as much as language that only the members know. My favorite example was: “The WMU will meet in the CLC in the room where the GAs usually meet.”
- Boring or bad service. My surprise was not the presence of this item. The surprise was that it was not ranked higher.
- Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew. Yes, this obviously still takes place in some churches.
- Dirty facilities. Some of the comments: “Didn’t look like it had been cleaned in a week.” “No trash cans anywhere.” Restrooms were worse than a bad truck stop.” “Pews had more stains than a Tide commercial.”
There you have it. The top ten reasons first-time guests said they did not return to a church. I can’t wait to hear from you readers. You always have such good additions and insights.
Posted on November 1, 2014
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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539 Comments
Yes, because Twitter polls are so scientific and accurate…
Thom, I’ve noticed a trend in your writing and web presence – you publish some list based upon some undocumented, unscientific data collection, and tout it as the latest brilliant discovery.
Thom, I usually agree with and can follow the sentiment of most of your writings and “findings”, mainly because they’re old news – read john Maxwell, Bill Hybels, or Reggie McNeal of 10 or 15 years ago, and all of these blog posts will seem like retreads.
This would all be no big deal and could be passed of as a writer’s desperate but harmless attempt at trying to generate “buzz” for their brand…but I don’t think it’s harmless.
As a church consultant, I know the unfortunate tendency of many. Church leaders to chase after the latest trend that strikes a chord with them. They do this, bolstered by writings such as yours, sometimes to the detriment of their church, when what they SHOULD be doing is proper research, then proper contextualizing into their own, UNIQUE community before ever adopting a stance or making changes.
As a pastor in full time pastoral ministry, may I exhort you to display a little more wisdom in your published writings. While they may spark good discussion and be basically founded in good intentions, I fear for the harm they are quite possibly doing as well, and I can’t believe you would choose to promote your brand over the health of churches and church leadership across our country.
Wow. This comment has to be one of the most bitter I have ever read. It’s sure not based on facts. Thom’s articles are in no way retreads of Maxwell, Hybels, or McNeal. I have read most of their books, and you are just plain wrong. By the way, millions of readers tune in to Thom’s writings because they reflect wisdom, whether they are informal polls or his own experiential opinions. He is getting at the heart of local churches, and I am grateful for him. His “brand” was established many years ago. He has nothing to prove. He sure understands contextualization, contrary to your assertions. He has never touted something as “the latest brilliant discovery.” He presents it with humility and class, unlike your comment. You say you are a consultant and pastor, yet you hide behind the anonymity of a first name. I would like to know more about you to see what your credentials are. I certainly don’t fear for the harm of Thom’s writings. They are incredible contributions to the body of Christ. I fear for the harm of petty and bitter comments like yours. I wish your comment would be deleted. It is there where the real divisiveness lies.
Hey Scott, tell us how you really feel. You seem to be holding back, I mean, quit being so shy already and let loose. Unleash the hellfire and brimstone already, sheesh!
If you hadn’t noticed yet Scott, the church and it’s leaders (yeah, you) are apostate! Blind guides leading blind guides! I’ll bet your the bearer of the “black-list”…are you also the one in the back room counting the plate money?…oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room is something I’ve often wondered about…
Perhaps (in my opinion) a more meaningful poll would have been what attracted people who DID return and why. Doesn’t the Scripture tell us to transform the world, not conform? It is sad when people do not return, more so if they do not have another church. But it is glorious when they do return, more so if they are lost or unchurched – that is what we should focus on.
I just visited a “church” for the first time this morning. There is no sunday school, but 3 services each Sunday. The one I attended had appox. 100 members (people) present, overall dressed like Wal-Mart shoppers amongs an overwhelming amount of Christmas decorations. Communion was the emphasis with passing by tables set up, hearing an elder recite passage and partaking of the “supper.” All, including children participated. I felt like I was standing at a sample stand in Sam’s. I have had much stress and needed to be comforted by the Holy Spirit AND other spiritual brothers and sisters, however, no one shook my hand, spoke to me or even nodded their head making me wonder if I was invisible. I have that “church” in my prayers!
Great points. For me, numbers 1, 2 and 4. I am an introverted person, so it is not a good idea to try and make me stand up in church. I am uncomfortable with it because I don’t like being singled out or put on the spot for members to pounce on me after the service. #2 is pretty obvious. When people are over friendly, but don’t take the time to learn something about the person, they are probably faking the nice attitude. If a church wants their visitors to get information on the church, it should not be forced. Information about the church, should be readily available and visible for visitors to see and pick up as they choose. The ushers should not be overly eager to give pamphlets to visitors. I say this because, it always felt like they were forcing me to join. As far as services go, there are a lot of things that make a service good or bad. It could be that the clergy didn’t stay on the real point to relate to the readings, or the people in the congregation were distracting to the people around them. I don’t how many clergies have mentioned money in their sermons. I think that bringing up money in a church service is tacky. Visitors do not want to hear about the church’s money woes, or being guilted into giving money to the Youth Group.
My aunt and uncle have experienced #9 when trying to return to a church that they attended for years. They just stopped going for whatever reason, and later decided to give it another try. When they returned to the church after how many years, they were forced to move because they were in someone’s seat. How are they to know that. Needless to say, they did not keep going back to that church.
I would also like to add that churches should not ask too many personal questions. If visitors are asked what church they came from, that should be okay. But, it should not be an opportunity for people to either slander other churches or the person for never having attended. If a visitor was brought by a member of the church, the friend should not be too eager to show the visitor everything at once, or criticize their visitor for not being interested. From my experience, it is mind boggling, and overwhelming. My friend who has done this is guilty of not showing respect for other people’s religious beliefs, at least where I stand. She has always been prejudiced against any non-Christian as well as Catholics. I am not sure, but that could be why she has always knocked herself out trying.
If these people prefer to have a light scenting scent, all they have to do would
be to apply merely a little squirt. Or will certainly we state, exactly how a lot more powerful the perfume ought to be worn. So, for those and
have the greatest ladies scent, then you would certainly like others in order to scent this.
What do you think about this? At the beginning of a worship service (Welcome to Guests) a pastor asks guests to raise their hands so that an usher can bring them a guest card. Positive or negative? Any suggestions?