NEW RELATED POST: Should Your Church Stop Having a Stand and Greet Time?
If you attend a church regularly, you’ve probably noticed the phenomenon. A guest shows up for a worship service, but he or she never returns. It is, unfortunately, a common issue in many churches.
I did a Twitter poll to ask these first-time guests why they chose not to return to a particular church. While some of the responses were anticipated, I admit being a bit surprised with some of them.
Though my poll is not scientific, it is nevertheless fascinating. Here are the top ten responses in order of frequency.
- Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service. This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response.
- Unfriendly church members. This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it.
- Unsafe and unclean children’s area. This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.
- No place to get information. If your church does not have a clear and obvious place to get information, you probably have lowered the chances of a return visit by half. There should also be someone to greet and assist guests at that information center as well.
- Bad church website. Most of the church guests went to the church website before they attended a worship service. Even if they attended the service after visiting a bad website, they attended with a prejudicial perspective. The two indispensable items guests want on a website are address and times of service. It’s just that basic.
- Poor signage. If you have been attending a church for a few weeks, you forget all about the signage. You don’t need it any more. But guests do. And they are frustrated when it’s not there.
- Insider church language. Most of the respondents were not referring to theological language as much as language that only the members know. My favorite example was: “The WMU will meet in the CLC in the room where the GAs usually meet.”
- Boring or bad service. My surprise was not the presence of this item. The surprise was that it was not ranked higher.
- Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew. Yes, this obviously still takes place in some churches.
- Dirty facilities. Some of the comments: “Didn’t look like it had been cleaned in a week.” “No trash cans anywhere.” Restrooms were worse than a bad truck stop.” “Pews had more stains than a Tide commercial.”
There you have it. The top ten reasons first-time guests said they did not return to a church. I can’t wait to hear from you readers. You always have such good additions and insights.
Posted on November 1, 2014
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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537 Comments
my daughter and i went to a church for first time yesterday at least 10 people greeted us and at the end of the service they gave us 2 big chocolate bars.
Relating to #7, which relates at least as much to new or nearly-new members, after an announcement that requires a response or may require more info, “For more information, contact Mary” or “If you can help, contact Susan.” (Who is Susan, or Mary? and even with a last name, a visitor or new member won’t know who or how to contact her.)
When I was ushering in my church. I now consider the best way to make new guest feel welcome. 1. offer friendly welcoming guidance 2. Be prepare to give an explanation why you love your church 3. Offer guest to introduce them to the Hospitality Minister or Presbyter. 4. Offer guest a brief description of registering in the Parish 5. Now it passes to the community of believers to welcome and find out if there is any need that can be addressed by the parish. 6. For the community to focus on new members and to encourage them to keep and be part of the community. 7. Allow the member to be part of the community based on need 8. Encourage member to the history and tradition of the parish and why things are done in such a way and welcome suggestions
First I think Christians who are truly born again need to understand that, if possible, people should be witnessed to and hopefully, get saved before they come to church. Then when they come to Church they should feel the witness of the Holy Spirit and feel like they are a part of the body of Christ. Unfortunately, too many Pastors have the attitude that as long as their bills are paid and they have money in the bank, that is all they really care about. Also, you need to ask the question, why do you really want the Church to grow? Is it because you really love and care about lost humanity? Do you just want more people so the tithes will increase? So you can build your dream off the backs of hard working Americans? Whenever I go out in public with my wife to a restaurant there are some people who are actually too ashamed of the Gospel to even say a prayer over their food! Some Churches do nothing but “scream and shout” and make a lot of noise, but they are in reality just a tinkling cymbal or sounding brass! Many of these “holiness-Pentecostal / charismatic/ conservative / calvanistic type people” are actually just religious bigots and you would never find a person in their services that is anything else but “white”! There are many people who claim to be Christian but they are really just religious people who are eternally lost! They don’t pay tithes or support missions at all yet they claim to believe in the Great Commission! Some Churches have become havens for people who have allowed their belly to be their god! And of course they attract people of a like spirit and are very cliquish! Some religious people are so mean they will send you to hell just by looking at you! The only person who can truly change a Church is the man behind the pulpit, and if he does not do the work of an evangelist like he’s supposed to, then nobody else will either. The Pastor cannot be a pencil-pusher and expect the Church to grow! He must lead by example as Paul commanded. He must give himself to prayer, fasting, and the ministry of the Word, and do the work of an evangelist. Some Pastors are afraid to preach the Word because they are controlled by the “board”. The only thing that will change the backslidden Church in America is persecution. Perhaps some of the 10,000 refugees from Syria who are coming to America will actually be members of ISIS?
church is not what church ought to be…and more congregants would recognize this if they were more in tune with scripture…there are many issues but some of the ones in the forefront of my mind are:
1 poor delivery of the gospel – seeker sensitive
2 prayer … very deficient
3 music…loud and long
4 plate passed every Sunday but the Lord’s Supper doesn’t’ seem to be as much a priority
5 announcements…who cares!
6 yes, greeting one another is not necessary…i feel very awkward, why is this done?
7 church a lonely place to be….even with the greet one another session! i walk out alone at the end every time…no one invites me to their luncheons
8 visitor cards are just another way you are pressured into organized religion…i have filled tons of them out and no one ever visited me…
9 membership! this is one very corrupt practice….bc if you are not a member..no one will help u or care for you when your ill…only member services churches..i’ve not met one who doesn’t require it if you need help…so sad!
10 Preachers….i could list 20 just under this heading…instead of being servants unto the flock, you have turned your flock into being your servant…tithing, paying for ministers salaries….i’ve given hundreds of dollars and not one church ever helped me in a crisis….which brings us back to the membership…church is nothing more then a social hookup and club with fringe benefits for members who pay! that is it in a nut shell
We are nothing mirroring the early church! I’ve been ill and struggling for years on my own…and all the church has ever wanted from me is my money and they could care less about my soul !!
Most Americans have the social skills of a turnip. Why, in church, do people “greet” each other by just smiling and shaking each other’s hand? That’s is severe social retardation. What ever happened to an introduction? Or are American “Christians” so narcissistic that nobody else except a select few are worth actually meeting? It’s really ridiculous. That is one reason American Christianity is a complete farce. People don’t even care enough about other people to ascertain their name. And to make matters worse, they act stunned when you tell them your name. Sounds like empty clanging bells to me.
Some people don’t come to church again? Maybe they liked everything and nevertheless just don’t want to come back! Some churches think, if they did everything poerfectly (toilet clean, signs at the carpark, dustbins everywhere, information-desk with friendly smiling ladies, and so forth), then people would turn to Jesus in masses. I don’t think that this is right. When I came to Jesus, the church there was very small, very poor, stayed in a very old house with very old toilets, but the sermon was right and the church was a praying one. That’s the difference to rich modern churches. Modern churches don’t pray any longer.