Few people are truly aware of the constant requests, complaints, and criticisms pastors and other church leaders receive. I must admit, however, I was surprised when I asked church leaders on Twitter to share some of the more unusual comments they have received. I was first surprised at how many responded. But I was most surprised at the really strange things people tell pastors and other church leaders.
Many of the comments related to using the Bible too much or to being too evangelistic. I should make those a blog post by themselves.
I narrowed my selection to twenty-five, but it could have been much higher. I left off many great comments to keep this post manageable. I’ve only made minor wording changes to some of these. For the most part, I received these quotes just as you are seeing them. The parenthetical words after each comment represent my off-the-cuff commentary.
- “We need a small group for cat lovers.” (I guess they could serve Meow Mix as a snack.)
- “You need to change your voice.” (Yes ma’am. I’ll try to have that done by next week.)
- “Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.” (Yep. You don’t want too many of those hipsters in your church.)
- “Preachers who don’t wear suits and ties aren’t saved. It’s in the Bible. (I should have known that’s what Jesus and Paul wore.)
- “Your socks are distracting.” (I understand. I’ll stop wearing socks.)
- “You shouldn’t make people leave the youth group after they graduate.” (It’s going to get really weird by the time they turn 70 years old.)
- “I don’t like the color of the towels in the women’s restroom.” (I don’t understand. They match the towels in the men’s restroom.)
- “We need to start attracting more normal people at church.” (So, you will be leaving the church, I presume.)
- “I developed cancer because you don’t preach from the KJV.” (Major medical announcement! New carcinogen discovered!)
- “Your wife never compliments me about my hair or dress.” (There could be a reason for that.)
- “Not enough people signed up for the church golf tournament. You have poor leadership skills.” (I’m so sorry. I expected more since most of the deacons play golf on Sunday morning)
- “I think you are trying to preach caffeineism.” (Probably Reformed theology with an extra kick.)
- “If Jesus sang from the red hymnals, why can’t we?” (I think you are mistaken. He sang from blue hymnals.)
- (To a pastor who married interracially). “You are living in sin. You shouldn’t be married to each other.” (That one is not worthy of commentary.)
- “I don’t like the brand of donuts in the foyer.” (It’s better than Meow Mix.)
- “You didn’t wrap the hot dogs in bacon for the church picnic.” (I understand that one. Bacon rules.)
- “You shouldn’t drink water when you preach.” (At least not simultaneously.)
- “The toilet paper is on the wrong way in the ladies restroom. It’s rolled under.” (My guess is that it is still functional.)
- “Why don’t you ever preach on Tim Tebow?” (Be patient. I will be preaching a six-week expository series on him in the fall.)
- “You don’t have ashtrays in the fellowship hall.” (Yes we do. They are right next to the spittoons for your chewing tobacco.)
- “Did you see me waving in the back of the worship center? You preached too long. It was time to eat!” (Who needs a clock when I have you?)
- “The eggs were not scrambled enough at the senior adult breakfast.” (We thought you could jump up and down after you ate them to finish the job.)
- “You don’t look at our side of the worship center enough when you preach.” (That’s because you are on that side.)
- “We are leaving the church because you have a red cross on the building. That’s the color of the devil.” (I understand. It’s in the same verse that describes his pitchfork and horns.)
- “Your sermon needed more calories.” (Okay. I’ll feed it one of those donuts in the foyer.)
Pastors and other church leaders must have great patience and strength. They are faced with these and many other comments and demands every day. I love these church leaders, and I thank God for them.
Share with me what comments you have received. And tell me what you think of the twenty-five comments that were shared with me.
Posted on August 19, 2015
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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615 Comments
Within 3 days of each other…
“Your enthusiasm usually outpaces your intelligence”
“No one cares about your prayer requests for your injuries. We have it worse.”
The weirdest thing that’s ever been said to me — and more than once — is: “Of course, pastor, I’d be glad to help with that ministry! When do we start?” :))
Be thankful. I’ve been in some churches where I never heard those words, but I wish I had!
We are creating a church constitution for our 124 year old church and it has an anti-discrimination clause in it. I had a 4-page letter given to me about the constitution and part of it said, “We are a white church! We will discriminate.”
Time for some serious prayer for that lady.
Wow how did you handle that one?!
Yeah, I’d be interested in knowing how you handled that one, too. Personally, I’d have probably ignored it, since racists aren’t inclined to listen to reason. I’m not saying that’s the best approach, though, and that’s why I’m interested in knowing how you handled it.
One of the best one’s I have heard as a female clergy is, “Glad to see you finally got a decent haircut”. Which ranked up there with some one leaving the church, “because they didn’t like the way I had to push my bangs back sometimes when I was up front preaching”. Two different people.
A few comments I’ve heard:
1) A woman told my wife and I that our one year old and nearly four year old daughters were an embarrassment to the church because they wore cute little pant suits instead of dresses at a women’s function.
2) After a bat flew around during our Christmas Eve service, a man came up and said, “Great special effects!”
3) A woman was upset (the same woman who complained about my daughters’ dresses) that I took the baby Jesus out of Christmas when I preached on how the Christmas story must be seen in light of the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Perhaps you should have a segment on weird things that have happened in church. I could give you a list of those too.
That’s a good idea. I’ve often thought about getting together with some of my fellow pastors to write a book called “Things They Never Taught Us in Seminary.”
I was told my PK daughters (at 4-5 years of age) dressed up too much for church (by a lady that never wore a skirt, ever) and looked like they were going to a party. I politely informed her all of their dresses were gifts from grandparents and since they were short on parties to wear them, they wore them to church.
Oh, and few years later that same lady had a granddaughter that wore foofy dresses. Every Sunday. Justice was served
At least you didn’t have an older woman of your church (about 70+) walk up to your pre-teen daughter one morning after the church service and tell her that she looked like a hooker. Evidently this was because she was wearing all black (There was nothing provocative about her dress. ) Needless to say, there were many tears.
You know, I so enjoyed this article because the commentary was so humorous; but I’m shocked, appalled and downright horrified at the insensitivity and cruelty that some church members show their pastors and their families. I have worked with a number of pastors and so appreciate the dedication and selflessness that they constantly display. Of course some have more of a gift of preaching, some are more of a shepherd-type pastor, etc. but I’ve never known one who didn’t make major sacrifices on a daily basis and keep long hours in the service of their flock. So let me just say, nobody better speak to a pastor in this manner in front of me! I’m not known for subtlety and I fear I would say something that was most unChristian! God bless you all for all that you do in the service of our Lord.
At one of my previous ministries , during a very heated board meeting, an elder asked the board members to stop and listen to some scripture that spoke to our current situation. Apparently, one of the deacons thought the scripture spoke strongly against their position . Not being able to argue against scripture the deacon said, ” Everyone knows the Bible you don’t need to bring the Bible into a church board meeting.”
Charles Stanley went through some rough times during his early year in Atlanta. He said one time during a deacons’ meeting he suggested praying about a particular matter. One of the deacons said, “Let’s not bring God into this. This is business.”
I was told by a church member once that they did not like the style of music we did on Sunday mornings, and I should just go jump in front of a car and do everyone a solid.
Standing around talking with three older ladies one Sunday morning before the traditional service, one of them comes up to me and says that when she sees my picture on the “staff and leadership” board, it reminds her of how sexy I am! *blushing*
I guess there are worse things to have a 78 year old woman say to you. 🙂
I’m not so sure.
I know a female pastor who was pregnant. When she got done preaching one day a church member came up to her and said: “I just can’t listen when you preach and you’re pregnant b/c all I can think of is what you and your husband have been doing.” (this is not a joke)
and this parishioner hasn’t been doing this? Maybe that is the real issue.
do they not realize male pastors do it too!
As long as the pastor was doing those things with her own husband, I fail to see the congregation member’s issue.
Oh, the congregation member has issues, all right.
LOL
Maybe I’m crazy but I would have just told her to preach sitting down.
The most common comment I get is, “Why didn’t you visit me in the hospital?!?” To which I always reply, “You were in the hospital?” (I guess God forgot to send me the memo)
For real! What is the deal with people keeping their hospital visits all hush hush and then talking about how awful the leaders are for not visiting them.
I’m not psychic, maybe that’s the problem.
Been there; done that! I didn’t know pastors were supposed to be able to read minds, but evidently we are.
I always tell churches that I missed 2 classes in school: mind-reading, and being in two places at the same time.
Happens all the time! I know people who have left the church over this and nobody found out until much later they were ever there. Should we visit every hospital everyday and check every room just in case someone might be there? LOL
I’m a thinking a church member’s mistaken mindset of it being the pastor’s job of doing hospital visits is the pastor’s fault.
Ephesians 4:11-13 says Jesus gave the church pastors “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up”.
Is there no one in this member’s church who knows this person and cares enough to visit while in the hospital? How sad. What a sad testimony for “The Body of Christ”!
Exactly! Why do we have deacons? In Acts 6 when the widows were being neglected, deacons were elected to tend to the church members’ needs so that the twelve could focus on preaching, baptizing, discipling, and spreading the gospel. In the same way, deacons or other church members should be responsible for visiting hospitalized church members; yes if a pastor has time and has energy he could go and visit them, but it should not be his responsibility.
I sometimes wonder if this doesn’t happen because so many people do not understand the HIPPA laws. There was a time not too long ago when a pastor could call every hospital and ask if there were any patients from their town, and they would be told the answer. I know several older pastors who did just that. If people got used to that kind of seeming supernatural ability to “know” when someone was in the hospital, it sets us guys living in a post HIPPA world up for major failure.
Maybe a sermon from James 5:14 would be in order, “Is anyone among you sick? Let him (or her) call for the elders of the church…”
My former Pastor tried that one once. “Call for me and I will come to you!!”
Nup. Still got dogged by whinging that he didn’t care for the congregation properly…
I would think that this is more a reflection of a time when hospitals were smaller and didn’t have nearly as many people in them. HIPPA does allow for you to call and ask if a certain person is there, granted you have their name. But, if there are 200-300 patients calling without a specific name would make it impossible to find a specific patient.
My pastor father was speaking in the foyer with a person who hadn’t been in church the previous week. He said something like, “It is great to see you today. We missed you last week.”
She replied, “Well, I would have come, but I didn’t have a way.”
My dad said, “You should have called! There are folk who live out your way who could have stopped by and given you a ride.”
She said, “Well, I’m not that kind!” (Meaning, she was not the kind of person to ask others for help.) “Besides,” she went on to say, “If you were the right kind of pastor, you would have known what was wrong.”
My dad replied in a very conciliatory tone, “Oh, I’m so sorry! But my crystal ball was out of order last week!”
The other folk in the foyer who were eavesdropping on this conversation just about trampled each other getting out the door so they could burst out laughing outside!
One from a couple of years ago.
We had several students on stage sharing testimonies on their camp experience and accepting Christ. After the service a lady approached me (the Emcee)
She remarked “That was nice n’ all. but he is wearing shorts!” Gestures to one student.
I glance over “Yes, yes he is.”
“Jesus would not approve of this!” She then proceeds to walk out of the auditorium.
Apparently Shorts are not acceptable dress for salvation. Or to share testimonies.
The arm of the Lord is “too shorts” to save?
Well, to be fair, in the KJV, Psalm 147:10 DOES say, “He taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.”
Lol!
After preaching my first sermon at a church as their youth pastor I had a man walk up to me and say “have you ever taken a public speaking class because you don’t project your voice very well.” It was at that point that I noticed the hearing aids in each of his ears