I consider myself a very blessed man in a number of ways. This blog has become one of my great blessings. One of the reasons I love this blog community is the variety of people who interact on it. There has been an increase in the number of people who aren’t Christians who comment on various posts. I want to share with you the perspective of one young woman on how she views Christians. These comments come directly from her comments on some of my posts. They have not been changed.
On Being Selfish, Not Really Interested in Others
I remember a rather outspoken evangelical Christian young woman I worked with – I’d just moved to town, and we went to a movie together. Each week she invited me to her church, and I didn’t want to offend her by saying “No thanks.” As it was, I had Buddhist activities one Sunday and I was mentoring a young girl two other Sundays, but that theoretically left a Sunday open. We only worked together for 3 months, and it never worked out. I went to a different job.
She showed up there one night, and jumped right to the church invite. No “Hey, how’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a while!” Nope – just “Do you want to come to church with me this weekend?” Since I was on to her game, I decided to play. I said, “Sure, I’ll go to church with you, because I’m interested in seeing what you’re interested in. That’s what friends do, after all. And I’m sure you’ll want to come with me to a Buddhist meeting to see what I’m interested in, right?”
“Oh no!” she replied. “I just love the Lord so much!”
“Well,” I said, “then there’s no point in me going to your church because I’m not interested in either becoming a Christian or joining your church.” I never saw her again.
That’s how far Christian friendship extends – I’ve seen it over and over and over. Christians look at everyone else as if they’ve got targets painted on their foreheads. Nobody likes being hunted down or treated like someone else’s project. We don’t need to drop all our beliefs just to accept yours, and we don’t need to become more like you just to be acceptable people, worthy of being regarded as people instead of targets. Love does not seek to create clones of itself. Selfishness does.
On Being Self-centered and Judgmental
Keep your religious beliefs to yourself. If I have any interest in what you believe, I’ll ask you. And if I don’t ask you, then go right ahead and assume that your “witnessing” will be unwelcome. I’m sure that you like whatever you believe very much, and I’m very happy that you like it. However, just as your favorite flavor of ice cream is not necessarily going to be mine, I wish you would assume that I’m just as content with my own beliefs (or lack thereof) as you are with yours. Why not ask me first what *I* believe? Why not show an interest in what’s interesting to me instead of expecting me to always be interested in what YOU’RE interested in? Christians are so selfish and self-centered! Tell me – when was the last time an atheist rang your doorbell to tell you about his worldview? The reason the world hates Christians is because they behave badly, they’re rude, boorish, arrogant, conceited, full of themselves, ignorant, and judgmental. Go ahead – accuse me of being judgmental now. Doesn’t matter – I don’t claim to follow a belief system that has actual rules AGAINST being judgmental, so it’s *fine* for me to be!
On Being Unwilling to Develop True Friendships with Non-Christians
As a mother of young children in a homeschooling environment, we found ourselves surrounded by Christians. Of course, the kids would become friends and we moms would chat while they played. Without a single exception, this “acquaintanceship” only progressed to the point that I had to make it clear that no, I would not acceptjesusasmypersonalsavior, and no, I would not be attending their church. Then the Christians never called again, and I was left to explain to my sad children why their new friends wouldn’t be playing with them any more.
When my son was just 6, the boys down the street told him he was not allowed to play with them because he wasn’t a Christian. I went down to see what was going on (because my 4-yr-old daughter was going to go down there and teach those boys a lesson!) and I confirmed that what my son had reported was indeed what they’d said. And the mother of one was right out in the front yard, 25 feet from me, pretending to be very focused on trimming some plants. She never said a word.
Finally, the 6-yr-old girl across the street told my kids, ages 7 and 9, that if they weren’t Christians, they would be going to hell. She certainly learned the “Good News”. And you Christians wonder why we non-Christians avoid you?? HINT: It’s not because we’re intimidated by your awesomeness and are just sitting here, pining for you, wishing you would like us. We already know you don’t.
Your Response?
Frankly, I found these comments painfully true for many of us. Though my first reaction was one of defensiveness, the more I read them, the more I realize that this women has identified many of us Christians too clearly.
What do you think? What is your response?
Posted on June 15, 2013
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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303 Comments
I find this thread very interesting and relevant in my life. I consider myself to be very spiritual and an ex Christian who still believes among other things in the teachings of love from JC, but not the dogma of any religion…..Up until I moved to the Midwest 20 or so years ago, I really wasn’t aware of much exclusion toward me from many Christians. I had certainly had a few run-ins from some extremists, (one was quite violent toward me) but the last couple of decades has me wondering what has happened to so many Christians to cause them to be so exclusive and hell bent (excuse the pun) toward eliminating non-Christians from every social and even professional circle? I find myself saddened any even angry at their actions and words.
I know a few wonderful Christians who enjoy discussing with me our different spiritual viewpoints, but these are quite rare…….They are generally the ones who are truly filled with light and have amazing attitudes…..they get it!
NO ONE OWNS GOD……If more Christians would try to be “Christlike” they might realize THAT is what salvation is all about.
I am going to school in a unbelieving school, and I get pressured by teachers and kids to join them and I say no, how do I tell that they are wrong in their reasoning and that Jesus is the light without getting into a fight, and making me looki like an idiot and getting me into trouble
Drop the superiority complex of “I’m right and everybody else is wrong.” The world is not just black and white like your church and your Christianity dictate to you. Start thinking for yourself.
How would YOU feel if there were someone devout in another religion telling you that YOU are wrong in your reasoning and that Muhammed is God’s only prophet or some such? Christians typically are so self-centered that they only care about how *they* feel and how *they* believe and expect everyone else to agree that the Christians’ *opinions* are of course the best and the most right because the Christians like their own opinions so very very much.
It’s a big world out there. Live your life, focusing on Matthew 6:5-7 and 7:1-5, all the while cognizant that you are completely unwilling to do much of what Jesus emphasized in the Gospels – selling all your possessions and giving the proceeds *directly* to the poor, not accumulating wealth, not placing the value of the money far above the value of human life – being more concerned with what that loser will be doing with YOUR money instead of respecting that person’s dignity as a human being, for example, ignoring the fact that once you give a gift, it becomes that person’s property to do with as s/he wishes. You don’t get to dictate how they use it – that’s not a genuine gift. See Matt. 6:19, 19:21-24 (this was for ALL rich people, not just THAT one guy); Luke 6:24, 12:33, 18:22; James 5:1, for starters.
Also, remember the next time you’re sick that James declares that the only proper treatment for illness is prayer and anointing with oil. Is this how *you* treat your illnesses?
John 14:12-14 states very plainly that Jesus will answer *every* prayer. Every one. No qualifications, no answer of “No” or “Wait” – “I will do it.” Until you are prepared to *demonstrate* that this is true in front of everyone who asks – in the spirit of Elijah in the latter half of 1 Kings 18. Obviously, your god was not shy about showing off by jumping through hoops on command, so unless you’re ready to demonstrate this for others, you need to keep quiet and remember that school is for learning, not preaching.
I’ll tell you what we think of you. We think you are the rulers of the world, the dominant religion, and the overwhelmingly dominant in the strongest countries. Yet you still try to pretend to be the oppressed outsiders you once were back when you were conquering the world by converting kings by pimping Christian wives to them.. Those who pay lip service to your religion outnumber those of us who refuse to by a ration of 3 o4 4 to one. The outer layer of your religion is all nice, but that’s just the outer part: the hard under layer is a psychotic black hole theology. Christianity is only tolerable at all because it isn’t being practiced. You’re professing one religion and practicing another, the one you want. You are everything your tales tell that the antichrist will be. God is real, and your theology explicitly places itself between us and God. I will not accept the mark of your overlord. You’re just as bad as the Moslems and all the others. I hate this cancerous meme, and wish I could free the world of it. Anything else?
oh yee of little faith why do you doubt, is it because of your faithless pity self that you doubt God, or is it because you are afraid
Dear Thom, I also would like to post your blog on my FB page. Would you allow me? Of course all the people commented on it should have….Please let me know! God bless you and all who reads it!
Thanks!
Gabe
Sure.
I am 17. Most of my friends are some form of agnosticism they claim to be Christianity. I became a True Christian 2 years ago, and ever since then, things have been different. They find me to be pretentious and judgmental, saying I have no respect for their beliefs. They claim I treat them like they’re less than me. What happens is they ask me a direct question about my faith and beliefs, I answer honestly to the best of my knowledge, and they get offended. One of my friends sent me the link to this blog, claiming I’ve been acting like the people this woman described. They no longer want to be my friends. Y’all seem like very intelligent, Christian minded people. I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to reconcile this relationship? I’ve been praying about it, asking God to give me the words, but I’m scared. Thanks for your help!
Hi Marah- First, let me say how encouraged I am by your testimony. It reminds me much of my own. I’ve included a quote from the Apostle Peter below that has helped me much regarding the situation you describe. By way of background: The people to whom Peter was writing, were relatively new Christians who were suffering severe persecution, even torture and death, because of their testimony for Christ. His counsel to them will surely suffice for our situations. Hope you find these verses helpful:
“But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.” (1 Peter 3:14–16, ESV)
Thank you. That was just what I needed to hear. 🙂
Marah, listen to Brian Braddock. Not to Captain Cassidy.
“What happens is they ask me a direct question about my faith and beliefs, I answer honestly to the best of my knowledge, and they get offended.”
Did Jesus and the Apostles not do the very same thing as you? And did they not all get unjustly persecuted and suffer false accusations too? As well as many other godly Christians throughout history and all over the world today? The Pharisees were offended. If your friends are offended, they may very well be Liberal Pharisees.
Stand on the Word; pray in the Spirit. You’re doing great Marah.
They are saying that you’re behaving in a pretentious and judgmental fashion because that’s exactly what you are doing, Marah. You claim that you are a TRUE CHRISTIAN™, which implies they are false ones–then go on to say that they’re really “agnostics” practicing some form of deeply inferior Christianity. Do you not understand how insulting that is to them or how pretentious that is of you to even say? How can you treat people like that and say you are a TRUE CHRISTIAN™?
See, nobody knows what a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ looks like. There’s no checklist. Every single Christian in the world, in every one of the 40,000 denominations in the religion, thinks he or she is doing things the way they’re supposed to be done. You’re awfully young to have figured out the magic formula for what a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ looks like. Maybe you should start a new denomination. But do you remember what Jesus said? You’d know his followers by their love. And your friends do not feel loved by you. Nor is love coming off this post you wrote. So obviously you are doing something very wrong.
Please do not take their criticism to be some kind of sign that you’re obviously doing the right thing or that you’re being persecuted for being such a stunningly awesome TRUE CHRISTIAN™. One day you may well find yourself disengaging from this religion or at the least from this mindset, and you may well find, like 70% of your peers will by the time they turn 30, that you were totally wrong about what you believe right now, and you’re going to need those friends to help you through that emotional catastrophe. You need to get over yourself and stop thinking you’re some kind of advanced being or that you’ve gotten totally right what billions of Christians have been struggling to figure out for 2000 years. You need to start loving your friends, and that may involve you learning what love even looks like (hint: they are the ones who get to say if your behavior is loving–not you).
Marah- I’m sorry you’re having to endure this verbal attack by Captain Cassidy. I’ve seen other posts of hers filled with similar anger and hatred. Sadly, she cannot see the hypocrisy of her accusations of you as being “insulting and pretentious” while she pretentiously insults you for your opinion. There is no doubt that you and I will say things wrong sometimes. People like Cassidy will always be there to jump on you when you do. The irony is that this IS exactly the sort of thing that Peter was encouraging the christians about in that verse I posted for you. The only response is one of meekness and love. “Be not overcome with evil, but over come evil with good” (Romans 12:21)
How strange to be told I am hateful and angry, when I am neither. I think I’d know if I’d been attacking anybody, or what my mindset and emotional state were. But Christians are very fond of attacking someone’s tone to dismiss them out of hand, and you just did that–I’m not surprised, and I’m not even angry at this point that you attempted to silence me in such a callous and cruel manner. I’m so used to Christians being hateful and mean-spirited that it’s actually surprising when I run across one who is different. Marah asked a good question, one I wrestled with myself when I was a Christian, one which you’d be wrestling with too if you only understood, and I gave her an honest and completely accurate answer. It wasn’t the answer that gave her permission to continue to treat her friends like that, which is what I think she was seeking; nor was my answer one absolving her of her responsibility to treat people with love and respect. I think you, like Marah, need to learn that love is as love does, and it is the person you are interacting with who gets to decide if your behavior and words were loving. And yours were not. Now, I’m under no mandate to love you, but you are under one to love me. And you just flunked bigtime. Don’t worry, Brian. I’ll save you a seat in the lake of eternal fire while we sizzle and scream for eternity for our finite thought crimes. I’ll bring cupcakes. Any more snide, snarky, hateful remarks you want to make? It’s always fun to see a Christian fail the biggest commandment his Savior gave him.
Captain Cassidy- I’d be very interested in what you think it means to “be a Christian.” Here’s my take on it. Will you be open minded enough to consider it?
As I told another person recently- The Christian Message displays the perfect balance between the complementary and universal truths of Love and Justice. God’s Love does not pervert Justice. God’s Justice does not contradict His love.
The greatest example of how God balanced these two truths is seen in the cross of of Christ. Jesus said that “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Shortly thereafter, Jesus laid down His life for the sins of the whole world- thus calling us all friends for whom He died. The greatest act of love ever known to humanity was expressed to humanity by God Himself. God knows what love is. He is Love. But what about Justice?
Justice is also seen in the Cross of Christ. “God proved His loved for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). In order for us to experience God’s Love, God’s justice had to be satisfied. Otherwise, God becomes unjust. An unjust God is not a loving God. So, to satisfy His own perfect justice in order that we might experience for all eternity His perfect love, God allowed His Son to receive the just punishment that we deserve. God’s justice requires death as the penalty for sin. Thus, Jesus offers His death in our place. This is where love meets justice- at the Cross. As Jesus said in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
What does He mean by “shall not perish?” This death is more than just the death of our bodies, but also of our souls. The death of the soul is carried out in God’s prison that was created for the devil and his angels. ““Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” (Matthew 25:41, ESV) Jesus’ death on the cross satisfies God’s just judgment against our souls. We will all face physical death, but we needn’t face eternal death.
The Gospel means “good news”. In the Greek language it is the pronounce, “eu-ang-ellion.” Prior to its used by the Lord, its secular usage referred to the “good news” that a king would pronounce to his people after wining a battle against there enemy. He would inform them that their enemy had been defeated and they could rejoice and no longer fear the destruction and death from their enemy. The citizens were to “believe the good news” and live in peace. What Christ meant by it, was the He had gone and defeated our soul’s greatest enemy- The Law of God that condemned us. Not that the Law was bad. The Law is good, but we have violated it, and earned it’s condemnation. In that sense the Law of God becomes our enemy. Jesus satisfied the Law’s demands by dying in our place. The Good News is that we can avoid the judgment of the Law by “believing the good news.” That’s the “whosoever believes in Him” part of John 3:16.
You see, Christians are not sure of Heaven because they think they’re better than anyone. They are sure of Heaven because they believed that Jesus is their Savior, their King who has conquered their enemy. I often hear non-Christians saying that Christians think they are better than everyone else, but I’ve never heard a Christian say the words, “I am better than you.” To say that would be contrary to the Gospel that they professed to believe.
Isn’t this really good news though? God loved us so much that we don’t have to hide in the darkness anymore, making excuses for our sins, blaming others for the way we are. All of us, can have complete and total forgiveness from God simply by believing the Gospel. Have you believed this Good News?
By the way- Jesus did in fact go around and tell people about Hell. I gave one reference above. There are 11 more below. I don’t point this out to win an argument. But to show why death of the Cross was necessary. Namely, the punishment for sin is so horrible, Jesus paid a horrible price to rescue you and me.
I have to say I’m with Captain Cassidy on this one. Jesus was known for his love, not his remarks on how he was better than everyone else. He had his ideas on what was right, but he didn’t go around telling people about how they were going to burn in hell, or how he thought that his way was better than any other way.
Sure, he may have believed that, but he also knew that saying so would only put people on the defensive. Defensive people close their ears.
The first and greatest commandment of any Christian is to Love. Through Love, anything can be done. If Christians as a whole practiced that commandment regularly, then it’s pretty unlikely that the stereotype portrayed in this blog would exist at all. Just something to think about.
Hi Erika,
I appreciate your comments. May I make a few of my own without appearing “un-loving?”
You appear to be out of balance concerning the complementary and universal truths of Love and Justice. God’s Love does not pervert Justice. God’s Justice does not contradict His love.
The greatest example of how God balanced these two truths is seen in the cross of of Christ. Jesus said that “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Shortly thereafter, Jesus laid down His life for the sins of the whole world- thus calling us all friends for whom He died. The greatest act of love ever known to humanity was expressed to humanity by God Himself. God knows what love is. He is Love. But what about Justice?
Justice is also seen in the Cross of Christ. “God proved His loved for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). In order for us to experience God’s Love, God’s justice had to be satisfied. Otherwise, God becomes unjust. An unjust God is not a loving God. So, to satisfy His own perfect justice in order that we might experience for all eternity His perfect love, God allowed His Son to receive the just punishment that we deserve. God’s justice requires death as the penalty for sin. Thus, Jesus offers His death in our place. This is where love meets justice- at the Cross. As Jesus said in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
What does He mean by “shall not perish?” This death is more than just death of our bodies, but also of our souls. The death of the soul is carried out in God’s prison, that was created for the devil and his angels. ““Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” (Matthew 25:41, ESV) Jesus’ death on the cross satisfies God’s just judgment against our souls. We will all face physical death, but we needn’t face eternal death.
The Gospel means “good news”. In the Greek language it is the pronounce, “eu-ang-ellion.” Prior to its used by the Lord, its secular usage referred to the “good news” that a king would pronounce to his people after wining a battle against there enemy. He would inform them that their enemy had been defeated and they could rejoice and no longer fear the destruction and death from their enemy. The citizens were to “believe the good news” and live in peace. What Christ meant by it, was the He had gone and defeated our soul’s greatest enemy- The Law of God that condemned us. Not that the Law was bad. The Law is good, but we have violated it, and earned it’s condemnation. In that sense the Law of God becomes our enemy. Jesus, satisfied the Law’s demands by dying in our place. The Good News is that we can avoid the judgment of the Law by “believing the good news.” That’s the “whosoever believes in Him” part of John 3:16.
You see, Christians are not sure of Heaven because they think they’re better than anyone. They are sure of Heaven because they believed that Jesus is their Savior, their King who has conquered their enemy. I often hear non-Christians saying that Christians think they are better than everyone else, but I’ve never heard a Christian say the words, “I am better than you.” To say that would be contrary to the Gospel that they professed to believe.
Isn’t this really good news though? God loved us so much that we don’t have to hide in the darkness anymore, making excuses for our sins, blaming others for the way we are. All of us, can have complete and total forgiveness from God simply by believing the Gospel. Have you believed this Good News?
By the way- Jesus did in fact go around and tell people about Hell. I gave one reference above. There are 11 more below. I don’t point this out to win an argument. But to show why death of the Cross was necessary. Namely, the punishment for sin is so horrible, Jesus paid a horrible price to rescue you and me.
Matthew 5:22
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.
Matthew 5:29
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
Matthew 5:30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Matthew 10:28
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Matthew 16:18
And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
Matthew 18:9
And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.
Matthew 23:15
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
Matthew 23:33
You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?
Mark 9:43
And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire.
Mark 9:45
And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell.
Mark 9:47
And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell,
Luke 12:5
But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!
Exported from Logos Bible Software, 1:07 PM March 03, 2014.
So, Brian, if I read what you wrote and come away thinking that you are not only massively un-loving, but also do not present any sort of compelling reason for me to think that your quirky lil take on your religion is viable for me, then I am “closed-minded”? No evidence, no proof of anything, just judgment and threats, but if I don’t fall into line like you did, then I’m the one who is “closed-minded”? Is that what you’re seriously saying? Huh. And you think you’re being a good little Christian?
My take on it is this: the character of Jesus that is presented in the Gospels (and Acts to a limited extent) said that people would know Christians by their love, not by their dogmatic adherence to rules and Bible verses and smug, calculating threats against those who do not believe. If he told people about Hell, well, that was him, and you as a follower were told not to be judgmental, not to threaten people on behalf of your imaginary friend. You are not Jesus, unless you have something startling up your sleeve, so that “do not judge” rule seems to be in effect here. Moving on, the Love Chapter that Christians use for their weddings (and then promptly forget) says absolutely nothing about dogma, threats, or theology, but everything about how to tell when someone is behaving lovingly or not, and says that love is the chiefest virtue of all virtues. And we can see the effectiveness in love in a variety of cults and movements, which gain converts through techniques like “love-bombing.” Nobody converts because a Christian looked down his or her nose at them or disapproved of them OH SO HARD or told them all about how “just” it is that a savage, bloodthirsty, ruthless god murdered his own innocent child to pay for the crimes (many of them only thought crimes) committed by the humans he created and a cosmology he invented to keep them out of a Hell that he apparently created. That’s not only monstrously UNjust, but wow, do you really think this system is a sign of your god’s power rather than his rank ineptitude and horrifying capacity for evil? Because to me, that’s all the reason I need to reject such a disgusting conceptualization of the divine.
Sorry.. I think I’ll just have to live with King You thinking I’m “closed-minded.” If you are what your god thinks is an ideal follower, then the last thing I’d ever want is to identify with a group of folks like you or risk spending eternity anywhere near you.
The only real problem here is that with your judgmental attitude and scorn for love, you’ve got about as much chance of seeing your Bible’s mythical Heaven as I do, and I’d rather you go somewhere I’m not going.
Brian Braddock, WHY is there no accountability within Christianity for the Christians who actively drive others away from their religion? This is a commonplace reaction to the Christians like you who believe that their responsibility to “The Great Commission” requires that they accost others and no matter the outcome, the Christians get credit “for trying” and God will sort it all out later. Well, what is your god going to do about the fact that your attitude and your behavior are so repellent that those you interact with will take every action to *not* be in the same space with you ever again, if they are able to avoid it? That your “witness” for Christianity is so ugly and toxic that your targets internally flee from you in disgust?
The trouble with Christians is, they think every one else’s spiritual view is of the “””Devil””””. I really do wish they would acknowledge the Devil as their own. Theirs and their cousins the Muslims. No one else believes in the Devil and quite frankly I and many others are tired of them labeling me and mine with some creation they invented. This is not new, they have done it since day one. They are in decline and it couldn’t happen to a better bunch. Hopefully the Muslims will soon follow suit. So Christ men and women, get it straight will you please. The Devil is your guy NOT OURS, he is part of YOUR pantheon NOT OURS. OK? So quit calling all of us Devil worshipers. We aren’t now nor were we ever. Devil only exists in YOUR minds, no one wants him or you. Deal with it.
Spot on. You’ll probably notice my link to you in a few minutes, but I wanted to say this here–one really encouraging thing for me, as a non-Christian concerned about Christian overreach, was to see so many Christians deeply convicted by this article. As discouraging as it was to see how many Christians didn’t realize how badly they come off to outsiders (it’s shocking how little they tend to understand about real love), it was sweetly encouraging to see how many Christians will hopefully learn from what has been presented here. I appreciate that you included this article and hope it helps a lot of people. Namaste, peace, and all that good stuff to you.
Since I trusted Christ, I have had a desire to share the Gospel with others. No doubt, over the past 25 years or so, many of my attempts have been cringe-worthy. Yet, I hear in several of the comments, though not all, a subtle call to stop sharing the Gospel with words. This, of course, would serve no purpose other than the purpose of the “god of this world”.
“But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.” (2 Corinthians 4:3–4)
God so loved the world- including atheists. As we speak to “the world” of Christ, God’s love should be manifest. Albeit, some will preach Christ in a harsh manner and so cause some to complain. Others will preach Christ in a loving manner and some will still complain. What then shall we do? Let your compassion for their soul be heard in the timber of your words. But let your words be the Gospel of Christ.
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” (Romans 1:16,)“
For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.”” (1 Corinthians 1:18–19, ESV)
Busted by a homophone ! Should be “timbre” not “timber” .
“Yet, I hear in several of the comments, though not all, a subtle call to stop sharing the Gospel with words.”
Brian, thanks so much for observing this. Your comment is one of the very best, if not the best comment I’ve read on this post and thread.
If all of apostles simply lived with the saving knowledge of Christ, and only shared the Gospel with words when asked, then I could see Biblical basis for the argument to stop sharing the Gospel with words.
But since it’s diametrically the opposite of that, it’s simply the Holy Spirit inspired Biblical mandate to share and proclaim the Gospel with words, oral and written.
Thanks again Brian for a most excellent comment.
Thanks “Truth Unites…and Divides”. I happened across this post while preparing to challenge our church on personal evangelism. It was very helpful for me to process all of the objections and different opinions about it. I’m going to encourage our church to ensure that they have God’s compassion for the lost before they seek to evangelize them. Otherwise, I fear we will simply come across uncaring religious zealots. I’m all for zeal, but not without knowledge- Knowledge of God’s compassion that is.
Thanks again for your encouragement.
Great article. I am a Catholic Christian, and I feel that I get the same kind of treatment from my Protestant friends and acquaintences. It may not be all Christian denominations that behave like this, but I do feel that Protestants tend to be more vocal and bible thumping about their faith than most Catholics I know. I am not a big fan of evangelizing my faith to anyone because I feel that everyone is entitlted to what they believe, and that every religion comes from the same root and branches out in different directions. The terminology in each faith is just different but is the same principal, and goal. Think of it as a different path to the same place.
I know that I have said this in other blogs, but this is so far the most appropriate blog post yet: I have a friend who I rarely see anymore. Back when in grade school she invited me to her church, and they put me right on the spot to immediately join. It was okay at first, but after I got confirmed, our friendship pretty much hit rock bottom. At church, there were a bunch of Youth Group activities, of course, my friend would continuously pester me to go to every church activity and even get my mom involved in conspiring. So, I had to go to these activities. Our friendship became a very low priority because she would never call me to see if I wanted to the movies or the mall, etc.-she would only call me about church. I did eventually leave that church because they were all self absorbed, self-centered, self serving, etc. And they would always use God as the reason why I should comply with them. What a load of garbage. I tried to express my views and feelings, but they would never listen. They would just call me selfish and a complainer. As for my friend, I see her a few times a year, while she does not seem as judgmental as before, she still brings up God and church, and nit picks because I go to the Catholic Church. So, she is pretty much Anti-Catholic, believing that the Catholic faith is not a true Christian faith. While, I am not Mormon, that is another Christian faith that is constantly being attacked. People in general do not know enough to judge it. While it may seem quirky in what they believe, if they are happy and content with it, then leave it be. Who is anyone to say that any Christian denomination or non-Christian religion is not true.
I later joined the Catholic church and converted because I feel that it is the only church I have found that does not judge other people. The Catholic Catechism believes that we are to respect all religions, including non-Christian religions for what they believe to be true, The Catholic parishes that I have been to do not pressure people into making excessive commitments to serve in church like the Protestant churches do. I have also found that unlike other churches, I can talk to people in church without them breaking confidentail information, they don’t encourage a lot of gossip. That indeed may be because a lot of people in the church do not know each other that well or interact that much, so they are less likely to gossip. A last point that I can say is the Catholic Church lets people live their lives and serve God outside of church witht their gifts and abilities. Serving God does not start or stop in any church. I apologize for going off on a tangent!
I believe that true friends are there for each other and support and respect each other. True friends should be able to have friendships with different religous beliefs without interrogating them into possibly converting. I think that it is very petty and vane to say that kids of different religions cannot play together. I just wish that people would be willing to set their beliefs aside when they are out in the real world. Another thought that has come to mind (not trying to sound political) is that that what would be our personal rights are being compromised is because people tend to abuse their rights at other people’s expense. People have the right to have whatever faith (or not) as they wish, but they do not have the right to compromise another person’s rights for having a different belief. If everyone would just leave well enough alone, then the government probably would not be interering at all.
As proud ot be the Christian that I am, but I have to say that I do not blame people who do not go to church, or who do not have a faith because I think that many churches have an agenda that benefits them. Anymore, it is usually about money, or cutting in with people’s everyday lives. If a person chooses to go to church, there must be a balance between church and having a healthy and balanced life. Just because a church has an activity or service at a specific time, it does not mean that everyone must drop whatever they are doing. Everyone should be allowed to decide if and when they will participate in any church function. If the timing does not work this time or even the next time, so be it. He/she may be able to come the next time; just leave it with no strings attached. A personal relationship or friendship is more important and more valuable than religious anyday.
I usually don’t put messages on these types of sites, but I feel God’s energy stirring inside of me to make an exception.
This issue is one that resonates deeply with me. It is a very delicate and sensitive topic for many people. I lost a friend during college because I wasn’t a Christian. There have been many tense and awkward family moments due to the same patterns of conflict described above. Like the lady in the story above, I am also a practicing Buddhist, but a couple of years ago I reconnected with my Christian roots via what could be called a born-again experience. So as far as labels go (and I don’t really like labels) you could call me a Buddhist/Christian. Both labels apply as I have retained some metaphysical Christian beliefs. But even with the double category, it still seems that I am viewed with suspicion by very orthodox/traditional/strict Christians. Even when asked about my beliefs and after explaining them, I am still invited to church repeatedly and conversion still seems to be a priority for my friend or family member. I have even been told on several occasions that I have not accepted 100% of Jesus. It really makes me feel like a second-class Christian when I believe in Christ but am told that I haven’t accepted Christ. I’m not sure how much more of Jesus I can accept! Are there levels of Christianity which require that we prove to each other how Christian we are so that we can finally be accepted among certain circles.
Here’s a funny story (but maybe not so funny). There was one time when my friend actually asked me to ask “the Jesus that I believed in” if he was the real Jesus. Well, of course logic teaches us that this implies my friend harbored an assumption that I believed in a “fake” Jesus. I’ll be honest, at the time, I was really insulted by this request.
I have great respect for the Bible, for Christianity, for my Christian brothers and sisters, and for the good contributions that they make to society. But sometimes, their actions can be very hypocritical and hurtful to the people they love. And the people who love them are left scratching their heads wondering what the big deal is all about.
As far as solutions – no guarantees these will work but this may be a good place to start:
Interfaith dialogue which genuinely seeks to understand the other side.
Missions should be more about Christ’s message of love than conversion.
Empathy for the other position. For example,
Non-Christians should understand that most Christians believe in hell and this makes spreading the gospel so much more urgent for them. But Christians need to also understand that people don’t like to be condemned (it’s an ego thing). So, instead of saying to someone that they are going to hell or pushing religion every time they meet. Ask the non-Christian how they are, form lasting friendships no matter what faith they have. Non-Christians should also avoid needlessly categorizing all Christians as “hypocrites”. It is not the person who is the hypocrite it is the action that is hypocritical. We are all human and will sin and make mistakes and do things that are hypocritical no matter what our egos tell us. “For all have fallen short…”
I really like the saying: “Actions speak louder than words.” Sometimes it is best to express your faith without saying anything. God’s consciousness can be manifested by our deeds.
I know that I went kind of long, here. Open, honest, and helpful religious dialogue is something that is close to my heart. I really hope that something here helps to advance the cause of understanding, healing, and peace.
With love and a bow,